Negative Exedra Opinions
Felt bored/depressed, decided "fuck it" and redownloaded the game. Spent about six hours rerolling for an account with Kirika on it (and yes I skipped the tutorial every time!). Finally got one with her and started to play.
After about three hours, I was bored and unhappy and whatever joy I was seeking was not to be found in the game, so I ended up deleting it again. I'm sad that it wasn't what I was looking for, but kind of glad that I did eventually redownload it because it confirmed for me that deleting my account was the right move. I kept having "what ifs" in my head and now they're pretty quiet.
The idea of maintaining an account-- of getting all the way to the end of all the main stories (so Madoka Magica, Record, Oriko, and then Scene 0) actually filled me with dread. So did logging on to play every day for the events. It didn't feel like fun, it felt like an unfun commitment I was trying to make.
I thought about it, and the only reason I would still want to play the game is for the stories, just because it's easier to read them in-game than to go to youtube/a google drive. But idk. Youtube and the google drive still exist after all, so there's no need.
I'd like to make a post in the future that collects all my negative Exedra thoughts in one place (like on the combat, on the character building) but I feel kind of guilty on that. I don't want to influence people to stop playing the game because I do like the content it brings and the fandom that exists alongside it-- and I don't want the game to do badly, you know? I want Exedra to be a success cause I love the universe it exists in.
On the other hand... a surprising number of friends reached out to me after I quit and said they were thinking of doing the same thing. They're whales and are spending money on a game they don't enjoy. And I feel like maybe my loyalty should be towards them and not a company whose premise is to convince players to gamble away their money at the chance of getting characters they want.
I dunno. All I'll say is that the fact the game felt boring and not as good as Record actually made spending money a much worse issue for me, because I was looking for an easy joy-boost. You spend so much time investing in this game that you want to have that time represent some happiness, so it's easy to get into the "I'll be happy if I get XYZ character. XYZ character will give me something new to do in the game." But it really doesn't. That negative feeling just gets worse. Then you start feeling guilt about how much you've spent... and you stop yourself nine times from spending more. But it doesn't matter if you stopped yourself nine times from gambling money if you go ahead and spend money on the tenth time.
Maybe I'll write up that negativity post later, but I think instead I'm gonna seek some joy elsewhere lmao, because tearing down the game doesn't actually make me happy. I've tried to write it out a few times already and it just makes me sad.
I should probably do the Tanabata liveblog again.
