>> OPEN SHIN RAON’S FILE …
:// AGE — 26 :// OCCUPATION — bounder at afterlife :// CLASS — elysium
>> LOADING DEVELOPMENT …
:// MODIFICATIONS —
bone lacing: with the help of augmented cellular structure of her bones, raon is able to withstand more force than a regular human. her bones are stronger, less likely to break under pressure, which comes in handy especially in her line of business. the augmented bones also make her more physically stronger, adding five extra kilos to her weight. she currently has plastic bone lacing and while it is the cheapest, that doesn’t make it any less effective.
>> LOADING BIOGRAPHY …
some are born under lucky stars and some climb their way up to the glimmering heavens with the help of sly tricks and smiles, but shin raon was doomed from the very start. prior to her birth, her mother had lead a reckless and tasteless life, a low born singer turned escort, life for the fallen star had only been one long and painful descent. men adored her, men sang songs of her charm and yet no amounts of beauty could save her mother from her own foolishness and ignorance.
she actually believed in the possibility of a happy ending. that’s what killed her in the end. hope and trust. trust in men who only wanted to use her for a night. and then came along a prominent olympian who had promised her heavens and blessings, a way out of the eternal darkness. that is, until she fell pregnant and lost her job and the few friends that she had, and soon enough even the prince on the mechanical horse vanished into thin but toxic air of neo seoul.
and then came raon - a constant reminder that life could never get better. never again. so the little girl was shunned and ignored, left aside to fend for herself while her mother spent her days with cruel men and violet bruises on her cheeks, drowning in her own misery and alcohol. but raon could never hate her mother. not in the way that she wanted to hate her at least. she loathed her, but she loathed her father even more - a man whose name she never got to learn. that’s when she learned what hatred was. and that it would greet her each and every day.
she lived for nine years with her mother until the day she came back from school to find their shit hole of an apartment empty. at first she thought nothing of it, hoping that her mother had simply wandered off, but two days later she heard the news of her death. found in a ditch, abandoned and alone, the police didn’t even bother to investigate. another whore got what she deserved. there was no point in helping the vermin of the city.
still too young to properly run away and live all alone, she found herself in the claws of her awful aunt, a shrew with four insufferable brats by her side. she loathed them too. the youngest and scrawniest, raon didn’t have much working in her favor, especially not with her assertive attitude. if only she could forget all the dinners that she had to miss due to lack of food or money or her own bad behavior, but she never speaks of it. she was always the least important one. some memories simply cut deep, no matter how old the wound is. then at the age of fourteen, she found herself on the dirty streets of neo seoul with bloody knuckles at her side. kicked out for breaking her cousin’s nose. the bitch got what she deserved if you ask raon.
but the streets were much crueler than she had anticipated. days would go buy without her eating a single thing, days and nights, and sometimes, she would even pray for a quick death, anything to keep her from selling herself to the night. she didn’t want to end up like her foolish mother. yet at times, she too had strange dreams, wishes, hopes for a better tomorrow. she could’ve been a glorious person. she loved many things, learning among others, and she could’ve had a life of her own if only her father had stayed. if only her mother hadn’t been a whore. so many ifs. each more cruel than the last. she had wanted to be happy. but she was denied of love and affection, every form of kindness and appreciation.
stealing was her first stepping stone. but she wasn’t the usual thief. she was cruel, sometimes violent, greedy and merciless, willingly to do just about anything in order to obtain her desired item. break a leg, shatter some teeth, bite off a few ears, raon and rage became close acquaintances, lovers and friends and it didn’t long for others to start noticing her potential. she wasn’t the biggest nor the strongest, but it was the scorching fury at the pit of her stomach that made her so desirable, worthy of hiring.
this is how the abused become the abusers. they never get to learn something better. but instead of going down the path of crime, raon did her best to pull herself on the right track. she tried seeking a higher education, tried fighting for her future and yet all the doors remained sealed for her. there was no way out. not then, not ever. she would always roam in the darkness, destined to spend her life in a neon hell. heartbroken and miserable but at the same time furious and determined, life for raon was a puzzle that she could not put together. all the pieces in her hands simply didn’t fit.
she was only nineteen when she first started experimenting with drugs. it just happened one night. her mother was an addict too, she was bound to follow in her steps. so despite her best wishes raon couldn’t stay away. they made her happy, well not truly happy, she knows nothing of happiness, but calm and focused, tamer than usual. under the influence, everything was always golden, beautiful and she knew nothing of pain. the gaping pit inside of chest simply wouldn’t feel so big. she had always been her mother’s little girl, it just took time for it to swim to the surface.
and then her life reached a point of stagnation. nothing mattered anymore. life was just a dead sea. no ups, no downs. everything turned so dull over night. raon could not take it. she wanted more, more jobs, more drugs, and then life listened and handed her an opportunity - a place at afterlife. finally she could use her strength and anger to move forward and not have them drag her down.
but raon’s heart, or what it’s left of it, is fickle, hard to please and tame, and despite her respect for hades, she now once again finds herself wishing for more. more pleasure, more fun, even pain, anything that would make her feel alive. she doesn’t know what she wants, doesn’t know where she should go, so she goes everywhere and does everything that she can. the drugs keep her at peace, but for how long? it’s only a matter of time before they kill her, she’s sure of it. if only she could use her rage for something good. if only they could let her fight in the gladiator rings too. but they don’t let addicts fight, now do they?
yet the saddest thing of all is that she still harbors so much potential deep inside. if only she could sober up. if only she could find someone to guide her toward a better life. if only she had someone to call home. ifs - all the unfinished stories. and what did she dream of becoming as a little girl? she doesn’t remember anymore. is there even a point in dreaming of things that could never come true? perhaps if she sits down for long enough, perhaps she could remember. a knight or a king? maybe a gladiator in the ring? or even on a scientist on the field? but does anyone care now? because life certainly doesn’t.
there are three versions of shin raon.
the girl that she wants to be.
the girl that she is.
and that girl that she thinks she is.
the last one brings her nothing but misery, but the first two are already dying. so for now keep the beast on a leash and you have nothing to fear.
