#nepofm.start

[siadai]

The fight starts out like this:

“What are you looking at?” the stranger spits, slurred words laced with an unmistakable desire to start a fight. Lightning is the stranger’s chosen victim, and Lightning — well, is stupid and headstrong enough to refuse to be pushed around, even when he knows he’s outmatched. The stranger is large and bulky and angry, and Lightning’s preferred mode of violence is of the emotional sort. Still, he counters, all rage and grandiose fire: “Fuck you, what the fuck are you looking at?” The stranger makes the first move, and as much as he overestimates his own ability to fight, to cut the story short, this is how Lightning ends up punched in the face. 

Lightning staggers back and someone catches him, and though he wants to lunge at the stranger again, he feels the grip of the interruptor holding him back. Besides, when he looks at the drunken stranger, a presumed friend of the jackass has already steered him away, raising a hand in pathetic apology to Lightning. Lightning looks again to the person that caught him, removing himself from their grasp. “Please tell me you have a fucking cigarette,” Lightning says to his fateful interruptor, slumping down to sit on the sidewalk as he rubs his newly bruised cheek. 

[nxpintxs]

So perhaps attending a party so soon after her divorce was not the best of ideas. It was a strange thing not to be by her husband’s — ex-husband’s — side. Whenever there is a lull, her gaze defaults to searching the room, searching for that familiar figure she could always return to, before the truth of the matter returns to her. Gabriela is not the type to feel lonely in a crowded room, but tonight she does. And so she escapes to the terrace, giving herself room to breathe. The sights and sounds of New York City lie before her, and yet she looks to the sky instead. Her momentary peace is soon disturbed, but she doesn’t mind all too much when another steps into the space that was not hers to begin with anyway. “There are no stars in the sky anymore,” she says, “Humanity has seized the twinkling lights and let our cities shine in their stead.” Gabriela looks at the other, a small smile gracing her features at the sight of their presence. “Forgive the pretentiousness. It’s a melancholy sort of evening, and this party isn’t exactly... the type of place I would usually find myself in. Would you mind keeping me company for a little while?”

[aureliafms]

location  : outside  a  party time  : 3  am

          waiting  outside  for  an  uber  after  another  night  of  going  to  another  party  ,  just  to  have  the  same  empty  feeling  once  the  rush  of  adrenaline  fades  .  is  it  worth  it  ? that  one  small  bit  of  adrenaline  where  aurelia  makes  another  headline  or  gets  people  to  take  their  phones  out  to  record  her  ? if  it’s  all  just  temporary  ?  she  doesn’t  like  to  think  about  that  .  plus  ,  she  can’t  let  herself  think  like  that  right now  when  she’s  still  supposed  to  be  that  rambunctious  &  rude  girl  .  so  she  turns  to  the  person  next  to  her .  “  what  the  fuck  are  you  looking  at ?  ”  she  snarls.  it  almost  scares  her  how  easily  she  can  turn  it  on  ,  how  easily  she  can  become  this  awful  person  &  part  of  her  sometimes  wonders  if  it’s  because  at  her  core  ,  aurelia  will  always  be  a  cold  person  .  a winter  storm  .

[siadai]

“I’m on my way to the airport for a bender in Berlin,” Lightning says to the person on the phone. With Lightning, the experience could last from anywhere from overnight to seven straight days of debauchery. It’s never any longer than a week — even what he loves to do most in the world he gets bored of eventually. “I was getting restless. It was either that or a rave deep in some Malaysian forest, which honestly sounds more enticing, but the time it’ll take for both the flight and getting deep into the forest isn’t fucking worth it. Anyway, you should join me. No need to bring anything, we’ll just shop when we get there. And don’t be late: not that the private jet will leave without us, I just hate waiting.”

[siadai]

[tw: drugs]

There is a thick haze of confusion that Lightning cannot navigate through no matter how hard he tries. It’s temporary — he will be fine, it will come to pass. He remembers thinking this over and over again, even though he doesn’t know who he is or what it is he’s taken or why everything will be all right. His fingers hurt and he doesn’t know why, but every time he looks at them he feels sad, and he doesn’t know why. It’s possible that his brain is melting and that it will never be the same again and the world will remain shattered and disfigured and fuck, he doesn’t know what’s going on, he doesn’t know where he is, and he needs — someone. He doesn’t know who. By pure muscle memory alone he brings out his phone, scrolls through the names in his contacts, and he doesn’t know who he’s looking for, he really doesn’t — so he stops midscroll and presses whatever name is there first. When the person on the other end of the line answers, he says: “I need — I need you. I think. I — I’m so confused.”