#neri why

[boundless-resolve]

[outstretch-blog]

Fading to Dust

It was a hard battle. He’d fought with all his strength, but it seemed, that as always, it would never be enough. Not to protect the one person he loved more than anything. 

His child, the girl who had become just that — his little girl. 

Crimson dripped into his mismatched eyes, blinding him from sight. The blow to his head was grave but not so stifling that the Lord of Lhant could not rise and drag his feeble body towards his daughter. 

She fell as transient as the flower she’d been named after, soft wisps of lilac hair falling with grace even as light spilled from her body. Her very existence was made from light. That light that had given him strength, saved Cheria from illness, saved them all countless times.

Again. I’m watching it again. Once again I’ve failed her— once again Sophie..I’ve —

She fell into his lap. Already the fading wisps that comprised of Sophie’s physical body were drifting into the air; his bloodied hands struggling in vain to capture them; to pull them back into her open wounds. 

He cursed himself, cursed his existence, cursed everything about him and wished his hands could claw the injury out from her, take it onto her Father, far more deserving of suffering than she had ever been.

She’s not dying, I can save her. I can protect everyone, I won’t fail again, I won’t let anyone slip through my fingers, I won’t let her — she’s my family, she’s my home, Sophie is — Sophie is my daughter! 

"Lambda, " He spoke aloud, his voice cracking in desperation, mind feebly racking for a solution but the god-like entity whom shared his soul said nothing, only a soft, resigned sigh.

There is no curing Protos Heis. You cannot save her, Asbel.

And as it had once before, in that dark cavern where the eleven year old Asbel had died with her, once again, something broke. 

"Asbel…" 

Her voice was so gentle, so innocent, so full of love even now. There were tears in the girl’s violet eyes, a trembling smile of pride and a love that now only stung him. Only stabbed daggers into a heart that was not strongenoughI’mneverstrongevennowI’mafailureI’vefailedherIcansaveherIcanmakeeverything okay—

“I protected you, Asbel.” 

Her voice was as faint as the breeze; her hand gently settling on a bloodied cheek, feeling the sting of tears he could not acknowledge. 

That was all it took for his shoulders to become concave; a violent, shuddering overtaking the hero’s form before he gulped in air, unable to speak, to breathe. 

“Sophie, " Asbel’s voice was a crackling sob; so raw and hoarse that it hardly sounded like the same man. 

“Sophie don’t leave me —- please..please give me a chance. Let me protect you..st—stop protecting me, please..please I’m..I’m your Dad, right? Let your Dad do the protecting..please…” 

The knight cradled her body close, as if they would somehow merge together and never separate. The sweet scent of her hair, the soft, childlike feel of her cheek, that precious little heartbeat that had not learned enough..had so much more to learn.

“I have so much to teach you, Sophie..we don’t have enough time, we need more time…I’m the one who’s supposed to go ahead and make it safe, r-right!? Dammit Sophie you can’t..don’t…not again…not again…” 

“But you did protect me, Asbel. ” Sophie’s breathing was shallow, her fingers already becoming transparent; like sunlight when it hit the glass. 

"Because of you..back then — I was born for real. You and Cheria made me, not Emeraude. You gave me a name and a life, you loved me..you protected me…you taught me how to protect…to love something so much that you fight for it….." 

Even her tears were fading, even then she looked at him with a love he wanted to scream against. 

"Asbel please don’t cry..please—..I’m happy to protect you, please don’t cry…I’m always with you. I’m happy you’re my Father..I’m happy that I’m Sophie Lhant…I’m so happy Asbel…"

An almost inhuman sound split from Asbel’s throat, nothing like the generally composed, always smiling idealist and leader the world had come to acknowledge. 

“No Sophie — no, don’t be happy .. I failed you, I failed to protect you, I’m no good for anything if I can’t save the one person in this world I love the most..please..please I need you..please don’t leave me again!”

But his daughter only smiled at him, tears bright in translucent eyes; hand falling gently from his cheek. 

Even when she faded into tinkling lights in the sky, even as her warmth and smell faded to his senses, Asbel continued to cradle nothing but air. 

I’m going to take care of her for the rest of my life.The rest of my life.The rest of my life.

What a joke. The knight who swore to protect everything precious with his own hands, could not save once again the one most precious to him. The boy died back in the catacombs, and from him was born a strong man, unyielding in his desire to protect.  

And once again, without wounds, without sound, that man now perished with nothing but a warm breeze to comfort him.

His body wracked with sobs; the one thing in the world most precious was gone, and unlike before, he could find no strength in him to rise.

And after all he had suffered, all he had borne with a smile, from betrayals, to loss, to war, that one person had stood at his side. 

No longer.Never again would he touch her soft hair, pet her small head. Never again would he answer tiring questions from an innocent heart.

Never again would he hold her close and tell her how proud he was of her. Of how much he loved her.

"I love you Sophie.." It was a strangled sob, inhuman in it’s grief.

"I love you..don’t leave me..you’ll come back…please come back.."

And his heart died.