Title: Graceless
Pairing: Dracule Mihawk x fem!reader
Summary: The great warlord stumbling over himself in the presence of a wine shop owner while his two housemates make it worse.
Word count: 1,604
Note: This was requested as a "short story". I clearly do not acknowledge the word "short" in any way.
The single lightbulb flickering above the mirror is beginning to irritate Dracule Mihawk. He stands above the sink, calloused hands gripping the sides, while he scrutinizes every one of his features. He double checks his hat is straightened, his long open coat sitting just right on his broad shoulders, and that his beard was groomed better than usual that morning. He adjusts Yoru, takes a step back, and moves the feather on his hat one inch to the left. He knows Zoro and Perona are impatiently waiting outside the front doors for him to join them, however he can’t bring himself to care. He has to look absolutely impeccable or this will all be for nothing.
It's ten minutes when he finally steps out of the bar, his protégé and their ghostlike counterpart following behind him until they come upon a shop next door, the storefront colored tastefully with gold and black. He takes a particularly deep breath and he can almost hear Perona beginning to smile behind him. ‘Why on Earth did I bring them?’ This is something he would much rather do alone, but alas, he couldn’t trust them not to burn down the estate in his absence. As he ascends the two steps, he considers abandoning them on this island. Once the door is open, he’s immediately welcomed with the scent of wood and herbs. If you asked him, he would say it’s his favorite smell in the world, right after a certain someone’s perfume. ‘Speaking of which’, he thinks. The wooden floors beneath him groan as he moves toward the counter to tap a call bell resting on top. Bottles behind him clink and he knows his companions have begun choosing what they’re going to bring home.
Just as every other time prior, he’s rendered speechless upon sight of her when she appears from the back. The woman, magnificent to behold and perfect in every way, smiles and his hands twitch with the desire to grab her by the shoulders and kiss her until she can no longer breathe. She hasn’t changed since the day he met her and he hopes she feels the same way about him. He’s always been very partial to that day in particular.
It was two years ago when he was stopping for supplies. He decided he should replenish their wine cellar, but none of the larger stores had his favorites in stock (truly a curse for a connoisseur such as himself). After speaking with a few locals, he was directed to a small shop on the outskirts of town. As soon as he entered and saw the selection, he knew he was home. Soon after, the most gorgeous woman showed him to a shelf of wines that were so rare, he had only ever heard rumors and not seen them. After giving her expertise and allowing him samples, he walked out of there buzzed and with plans to visit at least once a month. To this day, he believes that was an ascension into Heaven.
“And where have you three been? I’ve waited day in and day out for my favorite customers and for what? Two months of absolutely nothing?” Perona is the one to answer and an irrational part of Mihawk is angry he didn’t get to speak to her first. “Sorry, [Y/N]. We’ve been training non-stop for the past couple of weeks and haven’t been able to make it out here. We probably still wouldn’t have made it if our entire cellar didn’t run out of wine. Mr. Grumpy here has been sulking for days. We’re beginning to think he has an alcohol problem.”
He wants to kill Perona over and over again.
“Well, you’re in the right place for it then.” [Y/N] responds. Her gaze returns to the group’s leader (the group’s father, more like). She speaks in a low tone and Mihawk believes it is an attempt to spare any teasing from his companions. “For what it’s worth, I do wish you would come more often. I’ve missed watching you swing Yoru around on the shore.” Mihawk swears his heart palpitates for a moment. He longs to rip it straight out of his chest and hand it to her while frantically screaming “I want to spend every lifetime with you!” Unfortunately, no one will ever catch the warlord acting so out of character. “Thank you for your kind words. We have missed you as well.” Perona snickers and Mihawk quickly says, “Your wine, I might clarify. We have missed your wine.” [Y/N] giggles and it’s a sound Mihawk sears into his memory for the lonely days ahead of him. “I must say I’m disappointed it’s only my wine you miss.” She claps her hands together as his throat goes dry. “Alright then!” [Y/N] says loudly. “Let me show you what’s new!”
The two meander the aisles for an hour until they stand once more at the counter. [Y/N] is telling a story about a disgruntled customer from last week. “And then, do you know what he said to me? And I know you would have absolutely killed him, Mihawk. He said to me, ‘Well, don’t you think you’re on a bit too high of a horse to be such a bitch about liquor?’ As if I haven’t spent the last decade gathering the rarest and highest quality wines!” She’s correct. He would have indeed taken that man’s life. How dare someone speak to any woman, much less this one, like that? “Not everyone can appreciate the finer things in this life such as ourselves.” [Y/N] smiles and leans forward, resting her elbows on the countertop. “That’s why I’ve always been fond of you, Mihawk. You always hold your head high no matter what anyone says about you.”
The only thing he heard was “I’ve always been fond of you.”
And so it seems did Perona and Zoro. He feels a breeze as they rush to flank him on either side. “Say, [Y/N].” Perona starts. “What do you think about coming for dinner sometime? We’d love to have you.” Mihawk’s eye minutely twitches. “Yeah,” Zoro chimes in with a smirk. “I’m sure Mihawk wouldn’t mind. Quite the opposite actually. We’ve seen him writing a lot lately. Perona found a notebook where he talked about this beautiful woman who unknowingly has his entire heart. Not to mention how he yearns for her at night when-” The warlord raises his foot and slams it onto Zoro’s as hard as he possibly can. The younger man yells a “Hey!”. It makes [Y/N] laugh and Mihawk swears there has never been a sweeter sound. “Forgive him, [Y/N]. He’s been delirious the past couple of weeks because of illness. He does not know what he’s talking about.” The words are hurried and red creeps into his cheeks.
[Y/N]’s smile falters just a bit. “Oh, if you don’t want me to come, that’s okay. I-“ “No!” Perona and Zoro stare wide-eyed at his unusual outburst. His resolve is crumbling. “Of course we would love to have you for dinner. I- We don’t want to impose, is all. I know you mentioned not having a ship of your own.” [Y/N] tries to hide her smile by pressing her lips together. A beat passes. “Not to say that is an issue. Of course we could come get you, but then your shop would be closed for at least a day, you would lose income, and it could be foreclosed-“ “Mihawk.” [Y/N] places her hand on top of one of his that’s resting on the counter. “I would love to come, if you’d have me.”
The world stops. Perona and Zoro no longer exist and it is just he and [Y/N] holding each other’s hand. A blush explodes across his neck and he stares open-mouthed at her. She holds a soft smile and his skin burns where hers is touching. He can’t bring himself to speak so she does. “Do you have availability this weekend?” The man nods. “Good.” [Y/N] releases his hand and Mihawk wants to cry out for it like a child. “I’ll be at the docks at six.” He’s able to pick up enough scraps of his dignity to recollect himself in front of her. “We will see you then. Today has been a pleasure.”
The bell above the door chimes as Zoro and Perona exit. [Y/N] walks Mihawk to the door and they pause before it. “I meant it when I said you’re my favorite customers.” Now that they’re completely alone, he allows his lips to pull into a small, embarrassed smile. “I must admit, we have grown very fond of you as well.” He turns and opens the door. He begins his descent down the two steps. “Then do me a favor and lose the kids this weekend.” His body halts immediately. “I beg your pardon?” He turns to her while she stands in the doorway, his brows furrowed in silent question. “You heard me. Come on, Mihawk. All this talk of fondness, not to mention the only women you’re close to are Perona and me, so you journal entry could only be about me.” Mihawk’s mouth falls open and for the first time in his life, he begins stuttering.
“Besides,” she teases with a grin. “You’ve been here for the past hour and forgot to buy anything.”
Mihawk goes pale.
“Safe travels!” She shuts the door and he watches her figure disappear into the back of her shop. He hears cackling from behind him and as much as he wants to punish Zoro and Perona for it, he can’t bring himself to.
The only thing filling his head are wedding plans.
Note: Admittedly, I'm not super proud of the end result, but I thoroughly enjoyed writing it. It was hard to fight my personal headcanon that Mihawk wouldn't outwardly show his nervousness, but I now think it's a very humanizing trait for him to do so.