WHY VIDEO GAMES MEAN SO MUCH TO ME
This is a much more personal post that usual but I need to get this out there, recently I had a very direct contact with some situations that made me think, why do I love Video Games so much, and what do they mean to me. (this will probably work for everything else if you substitute the words video games with the thing you love the most, but still I think that just goes to show how real these thoughts are)
As someone who’s always been deeply connected with the video game world, as someone who genuinely loves video games, I’ve always received a certain amount of backlash for showing my appreciation and dedication to this media, from everyone except some of my closest friends.
To set up the core of what I want to talk about I’ll tell you something very personal.
After high school I changed home, left my mother and brother and went back with my dad to my home town, a place I left when I was five. I missed my chance to get in the college I wanted because that place has a very strict method of choosing its students, and I didn’t applied in time, so I ended up in this pos-labor school taking a few video/cinema classes, where I would go at night, and during the day I’d stay at home, alone, doing nothing, (it’s not easy finding a job when you are 17 and have no experience nor the social skills needed) most of the friends I had were far away in my old town, and all the friends that I had in my new town were, busy during the day, and free at night, and the friends i made in my classes at night weren’t really friends, were more, classmates, this went on, until I was so sad and tired of not seeing anyone, that I started being a whole different person, I started regretting so much decisions, I got bitter, I became a reflection of my absence from the world, I started skipping one day, two, a full week of classes. I became a big black hole of a person, alone, and unable to be with someone, even If I wanted to. So much that whenever I saw my mother and brother, which I love dearly, I was rude to them, I was mean, and I would only realize it, after they were gone, only then I thought, “damn, I love them, I wanted to be good to them, instead I was an asshole, what the fuck is wrong with me?” I'd still attempt to write, which is what i really like, but I never finished what I started.
That first year went by and I again applied to the college I wanted, The Lisbon School of Cinema and Theatre, I sent them a biographic file, like they asked, I went to an interview with some teachers, and I made it to the final selection stage, a week of classes, where at the end 3 tests were taken, and the 30 best students would get in, I went every day I studied I did everything i could, I even started what seemed like new friendships, and then, I failed, I was the 31st in the list, the best of the worst, and so I, for another year, was stuck being a looser in my head.
I didn’t want to go back to night classes, i couldn’t handle that, so with some help I managed to get in a movie production company as an intern, I was arranging files, editing trailers, I was finally working! But I soon found out that wasn’t for me, that I was the same as I was in my night classes, I still couldn’t be with my friends, I still felt like shit, and I was still alone, bad work coordination from the producers? bad life coordination from myself? probably the second one...
And I still wasn’t me, I was just, something I would throw out there to seem and act all normal and shit! Well I never felt normal anyway! So after six months working and living like that, the conscious me decided to quit, not without lying as for the reasons why, because no way I’d be honest and admit my mistakes, no way the fake me would dream of saying the truth, I said I had this project (which I didn't) with some friends (which I didn't had) In a place far away, (where I haven't been in ages) anyhow, it was better that way, I don’t think he’d even be able to deal with just admitting he was giving up.
So I went back to my real home, in a place where I could be with my friends, with my mom and brother, and most important, where I could be with myself, day, after day, after day, I’d work on my own projects, writing, I’d play music and… Video games!
here is a cute drawing a cool guy made to mark the uplifting part of this post :D
Now is the part where I tell you how I kept my sanity and where I got my will to move out of the shitty me!
During all this time drowning in my self pity and sad stupidity, I would still play games, and when that happened, all the weight jumped out of my shoulders, I wasn’t the looser who failed to get in college, to go to his stupidly expensive classes his father was paying in an immense effort, I wasn’t the dude who couldn’t stand up to the responsibilities of his intern job! I was who I wanted to be! I had friends and people trusted me and needed my help, and I always was able to succeed, even if I failed I could try again and again, and I would not give up!
Why? Because I knew I could do it! I had it in ME! If I could do it in video games, why did I fail in real life? It’s not like I didn’t knew the meaning of responsibility, our courage, honor, sacrifice! Hell I watched my father and two brothers die hanged by the neck in Assassin’s Creed II, I learned that revenge leads no where and I must always analyze the bigger picture, I learned not to make things just about me, but about us! I learned that no obstacle is to hard if you have the courage to walk the path it takes to beat it! Legend of Zelda taught me that! I learned to manage my needs and always prepare from games like Minecraft! Even Mario taught me that even if my objective is further that I expected, it is still worth fighting for! But the most important things I’ve learned from all of my hours spent playing video games, were that nothing can be achieved 100% alone, even if you are the chosen one, and that every rule, every teaching, everything can be broken, as long as you have the strength to be responsible for your actions, a strength that comes most often from the mind, than from the body.
And that is why when someone labels my consoles, my games, my nights playing or my days of excitement with future adventures, useless, or stupid, or incomprehensible, or when they just roll their eyes and sigh, I respect their opinions, deal with their criticism, I'm not immune, it still hurts me, it makes me sad, but i keep hoping that one day, they will find in something else, be it movies, sports, books, or anything, what I find in Video Games, and when that happens you can be sure I won’t judge you, for I’ve lived one hundred lives, I’ve heard one hundred tales of heroes that like me, and like you, made mistakes, failed, suffered, then got up and kept true to themselves, and kept fighting, even if just by keep walking forward, until the end of their journey. That’s my goal, my achievement, my mission, to always be true to myself, to keep fighting towards my objectives, even tough sometimes I just want to quit. That’s why I’ll keep playing video games, because I want to learn to be better, and real life is also very good at it, but i still want to relax from all this commotion, with my save points.
So I guess that, what I'm saying is that, when you love something the way I love Video games, you learn to take everything you can out of the experience, much more than someone who just doesn't like them or is over that "stage" of their life. You dig deeper in their history and plot, you find metaphors for your daily life, you learn the lessons taught to your characters as if you were them, you search for more that just an escape from "real" life, because games are not separate from your life, they're part of it.
I truly believe Video games can teach you, and be more than just "a game", be a life lesson, because they make you experience your actions, in a way no other medium does, they make the decisions and experiences happening on screen your own, you don't just watch, you are what you see, what you make, and if that emulation of being, can do something for you, is, make you think in the game, just like you would in your everyday life. Because the story you play is not only your character's but also your own, and even if the game itself does not give you any choices but rather a predefined storyline you will still control the action, which from my point of view means that you will still be affected and you will still feel the weight of your actions and will still reflect upon those feelings.
In order to give a little more information on how Video Games can have a reflection in ourselves and our lives, I ask you, if you are still hesitant about considering my point of view, to watch this Extra Credits video, these guys are great and they know what they're doing. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_2Tp8JopdIc
P.S: Oh! and remember that lie I told about a project and friends to excuse me leaving the production company? I totally picked the roots of the fake project a wrote a script for an animated short with that! (let's see how that ends up!)
P.S.S: Oh! and remember the college I tried to get in? I tried one second time and I got in! At number 9!
Thank you so much for reading, I hope this helps you in someway with your own struggles, and as always feel fee to share your thoughts on this subjects. And, keep gaming!