Developing & Maintaining Contact Relations in DC: What To Do With It After You've Got It
If you've made a feeble attempt to network yourself (i.e. meet people) in the Washington DC area, chances are good you've found it on the easier side. While most won't readily approach you, simply striking up a small-talk conversation is usually all it takes to connect with others--regardless of whether the setting is personal or professional. In fact, I often hear my newly imported friends get very flustered in the first few months after arrival because of the massive amount of people they've met in a short period of time. I've said it before and I'll say it again, life in Washington DC moves pretty fast.
One who has put in at least this much effort has also likely collected an enormous amount of business cards. (With so many names to remember, it's a huge mistake to not carry one on you at all times. Write that down.) Unfortunately, many newbies think that the exchange of contact information is the full-extent of networking in the nation's capital, no other action required. I can personally attest to this, as I've seen dozens and dozens of business cards pile up in my friends' rooms, doing little more than collecting dust.
This, my Washingtonians-in-training, is absolutely not the proper use of these little pieces of paper. If you're not going to do anything with the connection you've made, what was the point of talking to them in the first place? If that's the case, it was a complete waste of time. Remember that making the initial connection is the first step, not the only step. After exchanging networking information, one must make additional efforts to develop and maintain that contact--especially if it's one you may want a favor professional assistance from some day.
The importance of moving past operative one is something I was reminded of recently at a networking event I attended. While most of the social gatherings held by The Wine Cooperative are highly populated, the Robert Mondavi Winery dinner was small and intimate. As I mingled and ate with acquaintances who've transformed over time into familiar faces, I found the exclusive nature of the event to be a positive thing. Instead of being a social butterfly, my time was devoted to catching up with those I already knew--a vital piece to Washingtonian networking. Just like building a friendship (or romantic relationship), simply spending time with a contact is the best way to build a solid connection. And of course, this isn't a process that happens overnight.
For those of you who aren't exactly sure on how to go about building that relationship, fear not. Here are four things that every Washingtonian should do after first meeting a potential (and valuable) networking contact:
Remind Them of Your Existence by Following Up Just like it's customary to send a thank-you email after interviewing for a job, it's also a really good idea to follow-up with people that you network with as well. The day after meeting a new contact, just send a quick message that not only reminds them who you are but shows you're appreciative of their time. Because one meets so many people on a regular basis in Washington DC, following up is essential to being memorable and developing a relationship that goes beyond social acquaintances. This simple and small gesture can go a long way, especially if the contact is someone that could help you advance professionally. Most importantly, taking the time to send a message will keep the conversation going. By elongating the dialogue between the two of you, it will be easier to discover shared interests and goals, developing a relationship based on this common ground. I've said it a million times, but it's significantly easier to work with people when you're respected professionally and personally. Showing your interest in (and appreciation of) your contact's experience and time will help garner that respect.
Initiate Another Meeting for Additional Communication During the course of your continued correspondence, ask your contact if there is a time in the near future in which they'd be available to meet with you one-on-one. Whether that be for lunch, coffee, or happy hour drinks, the idea is to initiate another meeting where the atmosphere is a more intimate one--the full attention during this get-together should be focused on getting to know each other better. (Again, you want to extend the conversation past this meeting as well, so that it leads to future ones.) This not only gives you both an idea of what the other is really about, it also adds to the experiences you've shared, ultimately creating a stronger connection. While chatting with your contact, discuss their background and experiences as well as your own professional goals. Chances are good that they'll at least be able to provide valuable insights, if not introduce you to others who could better help you advance. Make sure to keep the conversation light and cherry, including personal tidbits as well. Just because you met them in a professional capacity doesn't mean that a great friendship can't be born at the same time and vice versa. By letting your contact know who you are and where you'd like to go, it shows that their opinion is valued in the process. Convince them of this, and they'll want to help you. This will also prompt your contact to actively participate in the budding relationship you've now formed, as opposed to taking a hands-off, complacent role. And as always, after meeting with your contact, FOLLOW THAT SHIT UP. You can never send enough thank you emails, in my opinion.
Be The First to Present and Deliver Your Personal Value By now, you've likely gotten a good sense of what your contact appreciates and is looking for not only in professional relationships, but personal ones as well. After following up and arranging a one-on-one meeting, it's important to present ways in which you may be valuable to this person. Whether that means opening your Roladex to them, offering your services or recommendations for their personal business, or even watching their dog for a weekend--doesn't matter. Regardless of what value you present, it works to continue the conversation and develop the connection as well. Remember, nobody likes a person that sits at a table and brings nothing to it. If you're ever going to want a favor or professional assistance from this person, you've got to give them some concrete reasons of why they'd spend time helping you. In my personal business, I zealously put myself at the service of my clients and vendors on a regular basis. By employing this method, I build trust and respect within our relationship, leading my contacts to offer me favors far before I ever consider asking for them. (I will wait years and years with some before requesting anything.) These of course, are absolutely fine to accept as it further works to develop your connection. And then, when assistance is really needed, you've already given them several reasons to bend over backwards to provide it.
Always, Always Repay the Favor The fourth and final step is important, regardless of which side of the networking coin you reside on. The karma ideology behind "what goes around, comes around" is certainly true in all aspects of life, including your professional career. Even if the opportunity doesn't immediately present itself, one should always be looking for the chance to repay the favors granted by networking contacts. Aside from giving you more opportunities to spend time with that person (and keep the conversation going), it shows your appreciation and gratitude for what they've already done for you. Recently, I was beyond thrilled when I was able to put my event planning friends from Ronald Reagan Building on the list for an event I was invited to--instead of the other way around. While it's normally them including me in their networking events and opportunities, the Violet Boutique Summer Look Book Party provided me a time where I could reciprocate their generous invitations. Not only did this show that I truly care and am interested in developing a professional and personal relationship with them, but that I'm incredibly grateful for the favors they graciously do for me. (And that I'm willing to do them the same courtesy, when provided the opportunity.)
At the end of the day, relationships in whatever capacity are not formed instantaneously. Instead, they must be nurtured, developed, and built piece-by-piece. To be successful in navigating the difficult Washington DC networking scene, it's important to actively pursue and participate in this process. Once a connection is established, DMV residents are among the most helpful in sharing their time, knowledge, and avocation. They will not be the ones to initiate it, however. Instead, a newbie must actively create and guide these relationships. Trust me, half the battle of Washingtonian success is simply putting yourself out there. If you take the time and make the effort, not only will your Roladex expand and career advice, but you'll learn a lot about yourself as well.
<3Y&SDC