Why Neurotypical People Using Fidget/Stim 'Toys' Can Be Negative
I would really appreciate if you read this through to the end, because it's very important to me, especially if you're neurotypical.
When I say stim toys, I mean things such as fidget spinners, fidget cubes, popits, slime, squishies, tangles, etc..
I am going to be referring to these as stim toys for my own convenience, but I would like to make it clear that these aren't toys, they are things used by ND people to help them concentrate and to stimulate themselves.
I think that using stim toys can be beneficial for everyone, regardless or whether you're ND or NT. However, what tends to happen when NT people find fidget toys is that it turns into a trend and a toy. It's perfectly fine if you're NT and you use them for stress relief, but using them because they're a fun toy is not what they're designed for, and makes it harder for ND people to have access to them.
For example: I remember when I was about 10 or 11, fidget spinners were the biggest thing, everyone had one, and if you didn't have one, you wanted one. In my school, and many other school's, this led to them being banned because NT people were using them in class as distractions. I've also seen this happen with slime, which came about a couple of years later. You can imagine what it feels like to not be allowed to have something that helps you concentrate in class, because someone used it for the wrong purpose. It can mean your grades drop, and your teachers are more likely to tell you that you aren't paying attention. It's so frustrating.
Another downside to fidget toys becoming a trend, is that people judge you for it. I use fidget toys a lot, in school and in public spaces, and I get weird looks from strangers because it's seen as something that a ten year old would with, not a teenager. I don't know for sure, but I imagine that it's worse as an adult with a neurodiversity.
Once the trend is over, you're still judged for having stim toys because they're not 'cool' anymore.
Let's take popits for example. These things:
As someone with adhd, I find these really helpful, but I see people my age calling them cringy and stupid and laughing at their siblings for using them.
I realise that this has become a bit of a rant, and I apologise for that if you've read this far down. I have one final thing to say:
I think most ND people will relate to this, when you take out a fidget toy (because you physically need it to concentrate) all the NT people within a 10m radius will flock to it. They'll start saying things like "CAN I HOLD IT?!?", "CAN I PLAY WITH IT?" "CAN I HAVE A GO?" It's loud and annoying. Stop. Sometimes people straight up take it out of your hands without asking. You can ask to have a go with it, but if the person says no, don't push. They might really need that right now, and you asking for it and bugging them is not helpful. If they do say yes, please try to limit the amount of time you are playing with it for, just play with it for a minute and then give it back because that person needs it.
In conclusion: If you're NT you can use fidget toys, but please don't overuse them, and don't let your kids overuse them in school and make them a distraction because it makes it much harder for ND people.
Thank you for reading if you've got this far down, and if anyone has an questions please don't hesitate to ask!
