Summary - Spencer Reid can be debilitated by insecurities at times. Never once did he fear they would be because of the love of his life... until now.
Spencer Reid x Reader (she/they pronouns used!)
Category - Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with happy ending, Fluff
TW - Spencer having implied appearance insecurities, Spencer being heartbreakingly sad (apologies and therapy bills paid in advance <3)
Please let me know if I missed anything!
Contains - Spencer having a lot a bit of self-doubt (Yes, he cries. Yes, I am very sorry.), mention of Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter series and the actor that plays him, Matthew Lewis, and Spencer being a sad lil' bean
Author’s Note - As always, please, please do not hesitate to leave me any helpful comments or provide any constructive criticism. All I hope to do is to improve my writing and hopefully spread some comfort to anyone who may find themselves needing it. Now, if you have been here for more than a hot second, you can imagine how thrilled I was to include two of my favorite fictionals in the same fic, even if Neville made Spencer a bit uncomfy... you'll see ;) I think I made it pretty hard with this one but enjoy <3
The agent consulting on a particularly trying case, retitled Ashley Seaver, was pretty good. She certainly didn't think so but she made for quite the helpful addition to the team. What she was also good for, however, was a couple of well-meaning jokes on the behalf of one favorite resident genius. Garcia was a top-notch perp when it came to the crime.
"...And that is the whole kit and kaboodle on each of your sixty-four suspects. Nothing really stands out, they're all pretty plain," Garcia told one such genius over the phone.
"That's pretty much the main issue we're gonna have here," Reid responded as he surveyed the files she was printing for him.
"Yeah, vanilla doesn't make your job any easier," Penny joked.
"No, it does not," Spencer confirmed.
"So, um, how's it going with the agent whose father was a... y'know?"
"How'd you know that?" An inquisitive tone came over him.
"...I might've looked into someone's hidden background."
At his disbelieving silence, Penelope felt the need to defend her actions, "What? I am not gonna let some strange, new person travel with my family and not find out who they are."
"I don't know, she seems fine," Spencer reassured, looking over to the agent of the hour who was viewing a file beside his girlfriend, Y/N.
"What is that in your voice?" Garcia asked, suddenly highly suspicious.
"What's what in my voice?" He clarified, brows meeting.
"Oh my god, you think she's pretty!" Penny exclaimed.
"What? I never said that!" Reid's voice must have jumped six octaves.
"Ho, ho, you totally do!" She couldn't help but laugh aloud, "P.G. out, Lover Boy!" Garcia reached to hang up the phone before the boy genius jumped to stop her.
"Garcia, Garcia, wait!" He practically yelled.
"Yes, my love?" She retreated.
"Um..." He sounded extremely anxious.
"What is it?" Garcia pressed.
"Don't- Do me a favor and don't say anything like that to, Y/N, okay?" He whispered.
"Reid," Garcia's voice changed to a degree that even Spencer's analytical mind couldn't decipher, "what are you asking me to do?"
"Just don't say anything like that to or in front of my girlfriend," He mumbled ashamedly.
"Because?" She pressured.
"Because it is not true and I love her and I think she is the most beautiful person in the world and I would never want to hurt her feelings by letting her think I thought anything different!" He exclaimed in a rush.
Penelope couldn't help the mischievous grin that broke out on her face.
"Oh, Boy Wonder, you are sweet but I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Why do you say that?" He sounded suspicious again.
"Well, you can still think someone is pretty in a relationship,” She emphasized.
"No, you can't!" Spencer enthused, "That's cheating!"
"Oh, sweets," Garcia impassioned, "say what you will but if you think that when you watch the Harry Potter movies with Y/N, they are watching for the plot and not one particularly delicious Matthew Lewis, you must be crazier than an unsub."
Reid pouted, hurt.
"What do you mean?" He sounded defeated.
Garcia, sensing her mistake, backtracked.
"Oh, I've said too much... P.G. out, Lover Boy!" She called again and made sure to put on a spurt of speed he couldn't beat. The line disconnected.
So, it seemed, had Y/N's lover boy.
Throughout the rest of the case, he avoided her. He shied away from her at any opportunity and flinched every single time the consulting agent walked into the same room as them.
He had put so much distance between them that Y/N could not possibly just ignore it. Problem was, cases made it pretty dang easy for him to do just that.
On the jet home, Spencer had been reading a book in immense focus. When Y/N had suggested they settle back into their shared apartment with a nice Harry Potter marathon from bed, he broke away from his book to give her a betrayed look and moved seats.
Where he couldn't run away, luckily, was at their home.
"Spence, look, we gotta talk about this."
"What do you wanna talk about?" He asked, quickly losing his satchel at the door and walking away, entering the bedroom.
"I don't know what's bothering you lately but, I'm not gonna lie, you're worrying me."
"Nothing's bothering me, Y/N," the quiet of his voice was muffled almost silent as he changed his shirt in his closet.
"Spencer," Y/N stood in the doorway, blocking his exit when he looked about to make a run for it.
"What?" He asked, meeting her eyes for the first time in days.
"Tell me what's wrong, bubs?" She pleaded, "Please! I cannot help or make it better if you don't tell me."
He remained silent and lightly pushed past her in the doorway.
"What? You don't wanna be around me anymore? Am I annoying you? Bothering you? Are you ashamed of me? Don't think I'm pretty anymore? What?" Y/N fumed as he stormed over to the bed.
"No!" He yelled back.
"Then what?" Y/N screamed.
"Well, I could ask you all of those questions and I am pretty sure I know the answers. That's what's wrong!"
"Spence... what?" Y/N deflated, pausing for a moment and looking at a loss for words.
"I was talking to Garcia," Reid whispered, falling to the bed as the fight visibly drained out of him.
"Uh huh," Y/N encouraged, remaining at the foot of the bed, hesitant to touch him for fear of making his vulnerable state worse.
"Well, she kinda told me..." He hesitated, worsening Y/N's anxiety, "Do you still think I am pretty?"
"Oh my God, Spence, what is she telling you?"
"You just answered my question with another question," He sounded heartbroken.
"Spence," Y/N threw caution to the wind, sitting down on the bed beside him and grasping both his hands in hers, "of course I do."
"Are you sure?" He wouldn't meet her eye.
"Yes," Y/N emphasized as passionately as possible, "what is Penny telling you?"
"Are you ashamed of me?" He ignored her question.
"Now you're answering my questions with your own."
"Are you going to answer my question?"
"Are you going to answer mine?"
He turned away dejectedly.
"Spence, please, just tell me. Nothing can be this bad!"
"It is!" He turned back, tears flooding his eyes and breaking her heart, "It really hurt my feelings and I don't appreciate you invalidating that!"
His voice cracked and so did Y/N's disposition. They pulled him into a tight hug and he sobbed into her shoulder.
"I am so sorry, my love," They mumbled into his neck, "I want to help and I don't mean to hurt you worse but I need you to tell me how."
Pulling away, he wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand.
"She told me that you watch Harry Potter with me because you think Neville is pretty and I... I thought I was the only one," He frowned, tears brimming his eyes again.
"Oh, Spence," She brought a hand to his cheek, wiping a trail of tears with their thumb, "you are."
He looked away.
"Spence, does the sheer existence of broccoli make chocolate taste any worse?" Y/N changed tactics.
"Huh?" He asked, thoroughly baffled.
"Bear with me here, bubs, and answer the question."
"Well, no, of course not," He answered earnestly.
"Exactly," Y/N grinned at his sweet demeanor, "just because I think an actor or a character is pretty doesn't mean I think you any less pretty."
"Are you sure?" He mumbled.
"Of course, they're so pretty but so, very much so, are you."
He nudged his cheek closer to Y/N's hand, still resting on it. It was answer enough for her.
"What I do wanna know, Spence," they smiled up at him, "is why this conversation even spawned."
Y/N felt his cheek warm and he blushed a deep, pretty pink.
taglist, i suppose :)
@safespacespence
dividers courtesy of the lovely @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune <3
