Summary - Spencer Reid can be debilitated by insecurities at times. Never once did he fear they would be because of the love of his life... until now.
Spencer Reid x Reader (she/they pronouns used!)
Category - Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with happy ending, Fluff
TW - Spencer having implied appearance insecurities, Spencer being heartbreakingly sad (apologies and therapy bills paid in advance <3)
Please let me know if I missed anything!
Contains - Spencer having a lot a bit of self-doubt (Yes, he cries. Yes, I am very sorry.), mention of Neville Longbottom from the Harry Potter series and the actor that plays him, Matthew Lewis, and Spencer being a sad lil' bean
Author’s Note - As always, please, please do not hesitate to leave me any helpful comments or provide any constructive criticism. All I hope to do is to improve my writing and hopefully spread some comfort to anyone who may find themselves needing it. Now, if you have been here for more than a hot second, you can imagine how thrilled I was to include two of my favorite fictionals in the same fic, even if Neville made Spencer a bit uncomfy... you'll see ;) I think I made it pretty hard with this one but enjoy <3
The agent consulting on a particularly trying case, retitled Ashley Seaver, was pretty good. She certainly didn't think so but she made for quite the helpful addition to the team. What she was also good for, however, was a couple of well-meaning jokes on the behalf of one favorite resident genius. Garcia was a top-notch perp when it came to the crime.
"...And that is the whole kit and kaboodle on each of your sixty-four suspects. Nothing really stands out, they're all pretty plain," Garcia told one such genius over the phone.
"That's pretty much the main issue we're gonna have here," Reid responded as he surveyed the files she was printing for him.
"Yeah, vanilla doesn't make your job any easier," Penny joked.
"No, it does not," Spencer confirmed.
"So, um, how's it going with the agent whose father was a... y'know?"
"How'd you know that?" An inquisitive tone came over him.
"...I might've looked into someone's hidden background."
At his disbelieving silence, Penelope felt the need to defend her actions, "What? I am not gonna let some strange, new person travel with my family and not find out who they are."
"I don't know, she seems fine," Spencer reassured, looking over to the agent of the hour who was viewing a file beside his girlfriend, Y/N.
"What is that in your voice?" Garcia asked, suddenly highly suspicious.
"What's what in my voice?" He clarified, brows meeting.
"Oh my god, you think she's pretty!" Penny exclaimed.
"What? I never said that!" Reid's voice must have jumped six octaves.
"Ho, ho, you totally do!" She couldn't help but laugh aloud, "P.G. out, Lover Boy!" Garcia reached to hang up the phone before the boy genius jumped to stop her.
"Garcia, Garcia, wait!" He practically yelled.
"Yes, my love?" She retreated.
"Um..." He sounded extremely anxious.
"What is it?" Garcia pressed.
"Don't- Do me a favor and don't say anything like that to, Y/N, okay?" He whispered.
"Reid," Garcia's voice changed to a degree that even Spencer's analytical mind couldn't decipher, "what are you asking me to do?"
"Just don't say anything like that to or in front of my girlfriend," He mumbled ashamedly.
"Because?" She pressured.
"Because it is not true and I love her and I think she is the most beautiful person in the world and I would never want to hurt her feelings by letting her think I thought anything different!" He exclaimed in a rush.
Penelope couldn't help the mischievous grin that broke out on her face.
"Oh, Boy Wonder, you are sweet but I don't think you have anything to worry about."
"Why do you say that?" He sounded suspicious again.
"Well, you can still think someone is pretty in a relationship,” She emphasized.
"No, you can't!" Spencer enthused, "That's cheating!"
"Oh, sweets," Garcia impassioned, "say what you will but if you think that when you watch the Harry Potter movies with Y/N, they are watching for the plot and not one particularly delicious Matthew Lewis, you must be crazier than an unsub."
Reid pouted, hurt.
"What do you mean?" He sounded defeated.
Garcia, sensing her mistake, backtracked.
"Oh, I've said too much... P.G. out, Lover Boy!" She called again and made sure to put on a spurt of speed he couldn't beat. The line disconnected.
So, it seemed, had Y/N's lover boy.
Throughout the rest of the case, he avoided her. He shied away from her at any opportunity and flinched every single time the consulting agent walked into the same room as them.
He had put so much distance between them that Y/N could not possibly just ignore it. Problem was, cases made it pretty dang easy for him to do just that.
On the jet home, Spencer had been reading a book in immense focus. When Y/N had suggested they settle back into their shared apartment with a nice Harry Potter marathon from bed, he broke away from his book to give her a betrayed look and moved seats.
Where he couldn't run away, luckily, was at their home.
"Spence, look, we gotta talk about this."
"What do you wanna talk about?" He asked, quickly losing his satchel at the door and walking away, entering the bedroom.
"I don't know what's bothering you lately but, I'm not gonna lie, you're worrying me."
"Nothing's bothering me, Y/N," the quiet of his voice was muffled almost silent as he changed his shirt in his closet.
"Spencer," Y/N stood in the doorway, blocking his exit when he looked about to make a run for it.
"What?" He asked, meeting her eyes for the first time in days.
"Tell me what's wrong, bubs?" She pleaded, "Please! I cannot help or make it better if you don't tell me."
He remained silent and lightly pushed past her in the doorway.
"What? You don't wanna be around me anymore? Am I annoying you? Bothering you? Are you ashamed of me? Don't think I'm pretty anymore? What?" Y/N fumed as he stormed over to the bed.
"No!" He yelled back.
"Then what?" Y/N screamed.
"Well, I could ask you all of those questions and I am pretty sure I know the answers. That's what's wrong!"
"Spence... what?" Y/N deflated, pausing for a moment and looking at a loss for words.
"I was talking to Garcia," Reid whispered, falling to the bed as the fight visibly drained out of him.
"Uh huh," Y/N encouraged, remaining at the foot of the bed, hesitant to touch him for fear of making his vulnerable state worse.
"Well, she kinda told me..." He hesitated, worsening Y/N's anxiety, "Do you still think I am pretty?"
"Oh my God, Spence, what is she telling you?"
"You just answered my question with another question," He sounded heartbroken.
"Spence," Y/N threw caution to the wind, sitting down on the bed beside him and grasping both his hands in hers, "of course I do."
"Are you sure?" He wouldn't meet her eye.
"Yes," Y/N emphasized as passionately as possible, "what is Penny telling you?"
"Are you ashamed of me?" He ignored her question.
"Now you're answering my questions with your own."
"Are you going to answer my question?"
"Are you going to answer mine?"
He turned away dejectedly.
"Spence, please, just tell me. Nothing can be this bad!"
"It is!" He turned back, tears flooding his eyes and breaking her heart, "It really hurt my feelings and I don't appreciate you invalidating that!"
His voice cracked and so did Y/N's disposition. They pulled him into a tight hug and he sobbed into her shoulder.
"I am so sorry, my love," They mumbled into his neck, "I want to help and I don't mean to hurt you worse but I need you to tell me how."
Pulling away, he wiped his eyes roughly with the back of his hand.
"She told me that you watch Harry Potter with me because you think Neville is pretty and I... I thought I was the only one," He frowned, tears brimming his eyes again.
"Oh, Spence," She brought a hand to his cheek, wiping a trail of tears with their thumb, "you are."
He looked away.
"Spence, does the sheer existence of broccoli make chocolate taste any worse?" Y/N changed tactics.
"Huh?" He asked, thoroughly baffled.
"Bear with me here, bubs, and answer the question."
"Well, no, of course not," He answered earnestly.
"Exactly," Y/N grinned at his sweet demeanor, "just because I think an actor or a character is pretty doesn't mean I think you any less pretty."
"Are you sure?" He mumbled.
"Of course, they're so pretty but so, very much so, are you."
He nudged his cheek closer to Y/N's hand, still resting on it. It was answer enough for her.
"What I do wanna know, Spence," they smiled up at him, "is why this conversation even spawned."
Y/N felt his cheek warm and he blushed a deep, pretty pink.
taglist, i suppose :)
@safespacespence
dividers courtesy of the lovely @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune <3
Summary - Spencer Reid is not one for dating... or so it seems. The effectiveness of a blind date set up by Penelope Garcia proves that he is certainly not as bad at the whole romance thing as he lets people believe.
Neighbor!BestFriend!Penelope Garcia x GN!Reader (they/them pronouns used!) x Spencer Reid
Category - Absolutely tooth rotting, beware-
TW - Cursing, mentions of misogyny (no actual application!), mentions of alcohol consumption (not anything dangerous, Garcia just got a little lost in counting...), (I really do not know if this counts but I figured better safe than sorry) extremely brief mention of reader wearing makeup but I tried to make it small and easily ignorable if it does not apply, Garcia's scorching sass, and Spencer being an adorably nervous lil' bean <3
Please let me know if I missed anything!
Contains - Spencer having a bit of self-doubt, Garcia being characteristically relentless, brief mention of reader wearing makeup, and Spencer being such a freaking romantic that my heart swelled two sizes writing this.
Author's Note - As always, please, please do not hesitate to make any comments or provide constructive criticism. All I want to do is improve my writing and hopefully spread some happiness to anyone who may find themselves needing it. Enjoy <3
"Whoever this is, I swear to you, I can and most certainly will run a background check on you and find out where you live. I assure you, I am in possession of the capabilities. I so have that happy ability and once I do that, you-" Garcia grumbles loudly as she drags herself most unwillingly out of bed to return the harassment she is receiving from the person so rudely knocking on her door ungodly loudly at such odd hours of the night. No, scratch that, damn near breaking down her door is more accurate. She almost wonders if it's Morgan but he has the capacity to actually break down her door so she doubts it.
Flinging the door open and facing her unwelcome visitor, she finds that her surprise has dulled as her memory of the past week is freed from her sleep-deprived mind. Of course, she was expecting this.
Her sassy best friend and next-door neighbor, Y/N is the one knocking. Penelope was absolutely certain that it would be either them or Spencer who came to her for aid for one reason or another by the end of the night. Really, she comes to think that it is her fault for falling under the delusion that perhaps she would not be woken up in this way before the sun rose... or maybe a little after if she was any better than she thought.
"I mean, I can save you the hassle if you'd like," they greet. "I am pretty sure you know this but I live there... or am I going to regret reminding you?" Y/N sasses as they point to the door directly beside the one they stand in the opening of.
Penelope's anger instantly fizzles in the midst of their joking and the prospect of gossip.
"Oh my god, spill," she instantly grabs at Y/N, capturing them with a bone crushing grasp around their upper arm and stumbling as she yanks them into her home.
"Hold on, Penny," Y/N begins to the immediate whine of protest from their overly eccentric friend. "Are- now, I don't want to make any assumptions here but I think it may not be so far a venture for me to say that you're pretty drunk right now."
"God, I hate profilers!" Garcia exclaims with a stomp of her foot to emphasize the point.
"Pen, I am not a profiler. I am an underpaid secretary at a boring firm who gets whistled at daily by sickos under the gross illusion that is the 'alpha male'. Mind you, these same creatures are supposed to be professional. If they are anything of the sort, they are professional misogynists."
"Okay, yeah, close enough," Penelope pouts.
"Garcie, are you drunk?" Y/N prompts.
"Oh, off my ass," She responds with no hesitation.
"Tell me, why does that not surprise me?"
"Look," She begins and Y/N shakes their head with a laugh as they sense one of her trademark rants about anything she finds even remotely inconvenient coming on. "You know I love you, yeah?"
Y/N nods their understanding.
"Okay, so keep that in mind when I say the rest of this. Don't look so incredulous!" Garcia adds as Y/N raises an eyebrow.
"I don't look anything, go on," They encourage.
"Okay, so yes, I had a few drinks."
"More than that, clearly..." Y/N mumbles only just audibly.
"I had a few," Garcia emphasizes, "because I love the both of you but any way this night ended, I knew either you or Reid would be by. It would either be really early or really late and if this crashed and burned, I needed to find some way to summon the will to stand here and listen to one of you. If this was a gorgeous success that I am so commonly known to be the director of, I needed to find some way to summon the will to stand here and listen to one of you." Penelope deadpans.
"Penny!"
"Look, I'm sorry, I really am but a heaven-sent angel like myself has to do what a heaven-sent angel like myself has to do."
"That is so uncharacteristically mean... or nice," They sound questioning, "I actually cannot really tell."
Garcia pouts again.
"It doesn't seem to be working too well anyway," Y/N deduces.
"Oh, trust me, it's working. I am enjoying the appearance of three stunningly dressed you's in this discussion."
"Be that as it may, I'm sober and I've been standing in the same spot five minutes. You have almost fallen twice and have been swaying continuously."
Leading them further inside, Garcia plops Y/N down on her sofa before following that lead and wasting no time to pounce on their inevitable story.
"So..." Garcia squints as she analyzes Y/N's face, "I see no red eyes or evidence of tidied makeup which leads me to believe that, as I am sure no one is surprised, I succeeded again."
Y/N looks down at their hands in their lap as a blush creeps quite perceptively onto their cheeks.
"What are you waiting for? No one ignores me, I said spill!"
"Okay, okay," Y/N allows.
"Penelope, you do not understand. Just talking to him... he has the most beautiful mind. I mean, I don't know if it may be too early to tell anything about... y'know but what I do know is that sitting there with him, he makes my dopamine levels go silly. I mean, he literally told me- and I don't have an eidetic memory like him or anything but I do remember this. He saw me once and the second we took our seats the first thing he said was, 'Tell me everything about you. You can go on for hours. I don't mind.'"
Garcia's face never falters in its unwavering beam.
"I mean, I- I kinda wish I had met him sooner, y'know? What a treat it would be to love him longer."
Y/N slaps their hands over their mouth as they realize what they are saying and what they are unintentionally admitting to. Penny, despite her current intoxication, does not miss this.
"I'm sorry," she says with a cheeky smirk, "repeat that last part, would you?"
"Garcie, I really think it might be true..." Y/N trails off as a tentative knock comes from the door.
"Who is it?" They whisper-yell at their best friend. Garcia simply shrugs with an indifferent face.
"Don't worry I got it," She answers before standing to open the door.
"Oh, hi!" Penelope exclaims, the additional visitor in the doorframe blocked from Y/N's view on the sofa and vise versa.
"Garcia, do you believe in love at first sight?" Spencer's voice trickles in with his telltale enthusiasm throughout.
"Oh, I dunno," Penny responds inconclusively.
"Yeah, well, neither did I. Notice the past tense because I swear that you did something of unknowable power when you set this blind date up. Garcia, I am not kidding. I am a man of science and there is no proof of the concept in the field but something happened tonight. I took one look at them and I thought, 'Sorry, brain but I think I gotta go with heart on this one.' I mean, sometimes I get so far into my head that I forget everything else exists but tonight, there was one thing that consistently existed and it was them. You know I'm a sucker for old, romantic literature but I am certainly not a poet. If I was ever to write a poem, though, they are exactly the poem I would want to write. If I ever write a novel, they will not be a chapter; they're gonna be the whole damn thing. I try to keep myself pretty contained, I do my damnedest not to overshare but I did with them. It was almost scary how easy it was. They're so comfortable, I- I just... isn't it so fucking great how people can feel like home? Oh, when they responded to an overly personal childhood story of mine with, 'What if everything you are and did go through is preparing you for what you asked for?', I thought I would die on the spot. I realized then, I think, that they are what I asked for all my life. Please tell me you can get me another date because even in a crowded room, I think I would only ever want to look at them... literally ever." He huffs so largely that Penelope thinks he gains about six inches of height as his chest expands.
"Yeah, so, Reid?" Penny starts, cringing slightly at the thought of his unknowing audience to this confession.
"Penelope, I am serious! We said goodbye an hour, 36 minutes, and," he consults his watch, "42 seconds ago and I cannot stop thinking about them. I do not want to ever do that again. I never want to say that to them again. In my experience, saying goodbye only means going away and people forget when they go away and I really cannot deal with that idea when it comes to them. Normally, I have all sorts of thoughts going frat-partying around in my head but they stilled them. I have been looking for that calm in the storm for all time, all of it. I know that this is... Damn, this is love, right? I mean, I think about them constantly already... I do it without trying. I feel like I have known them forever, I only met them today but that feels impossible. I have never once been so confused and so happy about it. There's gotta be some connection because I feel like I must have known them since before matter made any sense and I still get those damn butterflies." He continues.
"Reid, one second..." Penelope tries to no avail.
"I sat in my car for an hour and 19 minutes just squealing and pondering like an idiot before I came here but I didn't feel like an idiot. Just the thought of them was enough to make me want to drive my car and you know how much that is saying. I would drive to a beach for them and that is saying something. Honestly, pulling up here I couldn't decide until I got to your doors whether I would be knocking on yours or theirs, begging for more company. I really, really wish I could just ask them what they think of me because I am sure it will kill me either way, the absolutely overwhelming ecstasy or misery. I just need to know if they feel this, too."
Spencer finally finishes and catches on to the discomfort of his coworker and friend before him.
"What?" He asks, his face falling.
"Well, um..." Penelope glances fleetingly over her shoulder at the frozen subject of Spencer's absolutely smitten declaration.
"Oh no, they live next door!" Spencer exclaims, "Do you think they heard that?"
Before his usual self-doubt can suffocate him, Garcia takes charge.
"Spencer, you can ask them yourself 'cause... uh, well, they undoubtedly did hear every word of that and they didn't have to be next door to do so."
Penelope slowly and wordlessly steps to the side and allows Spencer indicative consent of entry. He doesn't take it, though, too completely stricken to see the quickly claimed object of his affection right in front of him.
"Hello," Spencer nervously croaks as they meet his eyes, "I missed you quite terribly."
Their expression is blank as they stare and Spencer can't stand the silence so he fills it.
"Look, Y/N. I cannot even begin to explain to you how inexplicably perfect it felt to look up across a room and see you standing there. I want that. I've spent too much time at war with myself. I need this... I need you. So, I am scared out of wits that this will be completely unrequited but you have to know that I'm saying I love you not necessarily so that I can hear it back because I cannot express how much I understand why you wouldn't love me. I get it, really, I do. My posture is lousy. I really do have the posture of an earthworm, my hair's too long, my tie is perpetually crooked, and I talk way too damn much. I just need to say it because... I am saying it because I need you to know. So..." He breathes deeply, "I love you. I know, I am freakishly early and forward but- huh?" Spencer's eyebrows bunch.
"I said that I love you," Y/N mumbles again, having been too quiet the first time for Spencer to hear over his own speech.
"You- did?" He seems baffled at the possibility.
"Spencer, I fall in love with people's passion. You have an untenable amount of that and I hope you know I mean that in the best way. The way your eyes lit up when you talked about the things you love and the way they filled up with light, I cannot explain what that did to my heart."
"Will you- will you let me add you to that list?" He ventures.
"What list?" Y/N asks.
"Of the things I love," He clarifies.
taglist, i suppose :)
@safespacespence
dividers courtesy of the lovely @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune <3
