Sunset Died - Mae/Clavell/Wan
Emotional processing (Long Part)
By now it was evening. And Xander had also had a look at the new lot. But as he was about to make his way home, Zelda stopped him short. “Here you are."/ ”Um, yeah? I can't be everywhere… What's going on?"/ ”OK, I know you two've had your problems, but… It would be nice if you could check on Pauline. The pregnancy is really getting to her”.
"You sound like it's my fault"/ "Well, maybe it is you, after all she slept with you AND Hank." Xander reacted annoyed and rolled his eyes "Yeah, thanks for reminding me again"/ "It doesn't matter now. Please, I think it would really do her good to see you. Believe it or not, but she's always talking about you and worrying about her baby..." He took a deep breath.
“Come on, okay? She hasn't had any contact with Hank for a while now…"/ ”And that's supposed to convince me now? Man… I… I was planning to see her anyway. Is there anything… I can do for her? Bring something?”. Zelda smiled, as he seemed to have finally woken up. “hn, she's totally on an onion trip right now, I can't tell you why, probably the hormones"/ ”Onions? Unusual… O.K.”.
Xander had often thought about Pauline in the last few days. Of course he would like to know how she was really doing. And he remembered some of the conversations he'd had with her. She didn't want children, at least not so quickly. Maybe that's why she's not doing so well. “Do you like onions?"/ ‘eww, no, they always make your mouth stink’/ ‘hm, one likes them, the other doesn't’.
Xander was really willing to bring an onion for Pauline. But unfortunately there were none today. Instead, he took something else that he thought she might like. On his way home, he passed his parents' house. He stopped for a moment, but didn't look over. And his path not only led past his former home, but also past the small hospital.
As he walked past the tent, he saw Pauline standing in the entrance. That made him a little suspicious. What was she doing here so late? He hesitated for a moment, but then he went up to her. She was a little surprised when she saw him. “What are you doing here?"/ ”That… Could I ask you too… Is everything all right? With you and…” he looked down at her stomach and pointed his finger at it. ‘Since when do you care about that, Xander, huh?’.
He looked at her seriously. “Pauline, I care about you, you know that. And when I ask you if you and… your baby are okay, I mean it, okay?”. She shook her head and looked at him. “My baby's better than I am at the moment. Anyway, Jamie assumes he's… Or she's fine. There's not the option of having an ultrasound. Hh,. I'd love to see my baby at least once, you know?“
Xander looked down her body again until his gaze settled on her stomach. "It'll be fine, like she says, OK?" Pauline let out a deep sigh that had apparently been building up for a long time. "Can I…?" Xander asked for permission to stroke her stomach. "You can't even see anything…"/ "Not that…" It was true, you couldn't see much, but you could definitely feel that little bulge. Pauline wasn't alone here.
He slowly pulled his hand away again. “Are you all right? And the children?” Pauline asked him with an almost wistful undertone. “Well… Bella wants her bedtime story every night, and Michael… I can't figure out what's wrong with the boy at the moment. He hangs out with Peter a lot and has this strange grin on his face."/ ‘hn, he likes him’/ ‘why do you say that so strangely?’.
“because I have eyes in my head and so do you… what do you think why they're always hanging out with each other?"/ ‘You… You don't think the two of them… Oh please…’/ ”Hnhn, don't worry about it, okay? You can't do anything about feelings…these things just happen"/ ‘hmm… Yes’. Her words only reinforced what he himself had been feeling all along.
He looked at her for a long time, but she avoided his gaze for a moment and smiled sheepishly. “Is it true that you're into onions these days?”. She rolled her eyes and laughed a little. “Oh man, you ran into Zelda?"/ ‘Hnhn, yeah. I would have liked to bring you one, but… They didn't have any right now’/ ”it's okay. Did you know she's making out with Hank… And with Gobias?"/ ‘you're kidding?’. Pauline shook her head.
She turned a little. “I'm sure you'll tell me now that this should sound familiar for me. Yes… The only difference is that it doesn't hurt me. She and I… We're very similar in character, and she's always been interested in what I've had…"/ ‘And you tolerate that?’/ ‘I kind of have to… She's actually a good friend, too’.
Xander raised his voice a little. “Actually? She's sleeping with your ex and with her… I don't know, lover? Do you think all this up and down is good for you and especially for your baby?” She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. “No… It's not… It's stressing me out, really, I really got into it with her the other night"/ ‘It shouldn't have to be, Pauline…’.
She looked him in the eye for a moment. “And what do you think I should do? I can't ignore it, I'll just let her do it, she'll see where it leaves her. But I…"/ ”hm? What about you?”. Pauline's fingernails dug nervously into her palms. “I know you're incredibly skeptical about the baby… But I'd like to be back with you… and the other two“/
‘hm… ’”.
Xander looked at her seriously. “You're right about the baby. But I also want you to have as little stress as possible… Besides…"/ ‘hm, what?’/ ‘The kids have been asking about you too…’. When he said that, it brought a smile to her face. “Really?"/ ”Mhm…listen, I don't want to rush things, okay? But I want you to be okay… So"/ ‘So… Can I come with you?’/ ‘First of all, another try…’/ ‘And when the baby arrives?’
“We'll see, okay? I think… I need to see the little thing first, maybe even hold it in my arms, to be able to judge whether evantually it's mine… Or not. O.k.?"/ ”hmhm. Then… I'll just go and get my things, all right?"/ ‘Hey, wait…’ It couldn't go fast enough for Pauline. She ran off to Zelda's house and packed her things.
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