I got a 115 as my highest score and honestly, not unhappy. That's the most I've gotten in any grizz run I think! And the team I rocked it with was so much fun. Spent nearly an entire cycle with two of them. So I'm pretty satisfied with this big big run.
"I'm choking from the taste (but I can't help but swallow)"
Chapter 5: A Little Sacrifice
Other chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6
Summary: Jaskier is tasked with new duties while rumors of the White Wolf's conquests overtake the court, and he is called to make a decision with dire personal repercussions in order to ensure his friend's safety.
click here to read on ao3
After the nobles had their fill, they left Jaskier an aching, sticky mess on the floor. He laid there, listening to them make chitchat with each other as servants appeared and offered them wet cloths and robes. Once they were done cleaning themselves, they gathered in front of the throne, where Radovid had remained for the duration of the assault, watching them from his vantage point while drinking wine and picking on a platter of fruit. They offered him deep bows and one of them spoke up.
“Thank you for this opportunity your majesty, I think I can speak for everyone when I say we enjoyed it immensely.”
The king gestured for them to straighten back up.
“Oh please, it’s the least I could do for my loyal followers. You lot are the pillars of our kingdom, and you deserve to be awarded for your contribution to its prosperity. I will be counting on your continued support at the next assembly.”
After they left, Radovid made his way towards the bard, observing the tears drying underneath Jaskier’s clouded eyes as he stared up at the ceiling, motionless.
Beautiful
The king leaned down and grabbed his chin, startling the bard and forcing his gaze towards him.
“How do you feel darling? Was that enough to fulfill your insatiable needs?”
Were Jaskier in his right mind he would have let the king have a piece of his mind, but as it were, his numbed senses had yet to fully return, so he settled for a weak glare that made the other chuckle.
“I’ll take that as a yes.”
He gathered the limp bard in his arms and lifted him up, carrying him bridal style all the way to his quarters where a bath had been prepared, and deposited him inside it. Jaskier hissed as the hot water made contact with his sensitive skin, but he couldn’t deny that it did wonders for his stiff joints that were screaming in pain from how hard he’d been tensing his muscles.
Radovid stood back to make space for the two servants that were tasked with washing the bard and crossed his arms, leaning against the doorway.
“Ambassadors from Maecht will be visiting next week, be ready to serve them like you did today for those bumbling fools.”
The water splashed around violently as Jaskier sat up sharply, dislodging the servants’ hands from his body in the process.
“Wh-” he coughed to clear his hoarse voice “W-what?! But I-”
“No buts. It’s about time you started pulling your weight around here. Bards and whores are practically the same thing anyways so it should hardly be a strain.”
He tutted and rolled his eyes when noticed Jaskier had started crying again. The king came to sit at the edge of the bathtub and made cooing noises as he stroked the bard’s wet hair, not reacting when Jaskier flinched at his touch.
“Come now dear, I’m practically doing you a favor! Can’t you see how beneficial this arrangement will be for the both of us?”
When the bard’s tears showed no sign of stopping, Radovid let out an irritated sigh and stood up, patting his fur down. “I will let you rest for now. You’d better have this attitude fixed by the next time we meet. Are we clear?”
Jaskier’s lips trembled as he struggled to get the words out of his mouth. “Y-yes your majesty.”
Radovid seemed pleased by the response and gave him a little wave before leaving, the servants following soon after, having finished their job as the king talked. Once the door closed and the bard was finally alone, he hugged his knees and sobbed until the water cooled and long past that.
For the following days Jaskier stayed locked in his room, doing his best to recover. He rested in bed for the most part, because moving still hurt like a bitch, and read books to pass the time, occasionally practicing a bit of meditation. Geralt had tried to teach him a few times in the past, and even though the bard never really got into it, he still remembered the basics.
It proved to be very beneficial, helping him clear his mind and mentally prepare for what was to come. He was determined not to let what happened at the throne room break him. Besides, it wasn’t anything he hadn’t been through before.
Being a traveling bard came along with its fair share of danger, and even though Geralt’s presence was usually enough to deter people with ill intentions, there were a couple… incidents that occurred while he and the witcher were travelling separately, and Jaskier was able to cope with them just fine. He just had to do it again, no big deal.
Plus, he wasn’t a foreigner to sex work either. He’d only done it a handful of times in the past, when coin was low, contracts scarce and audiences unresponsive. It was barely a hardship, he’s always loved sex after all, and it was a small price to pay in order to ensure he and Geralt didn’t starve to death. In each of these cases, he made sure the witcher had been none the wiser so that his friend didn’t feel guilty.
Definitely not because he worried Geralt would think less of him if he found out.
When Jaskier emerged the day before the ambassadors’ arrival, he acted completely normal, like nothing bad ever happened. He mostly hung out at the kitchens where he helped Bruneta and Chleb bake a variety of pastries for the coming banquet and jovially greeted anyone that he happened to run into. Everything was fucking fine.
.....
Everything was not fine.
The ambassadors were a lot rougher than the nobles, if that was even possible, and he was forced to be at their beck and call all throughout their one-week stay. In contrast to the nobles, who already knew who he was and were careful not to damage their king’s boytoy too badly, especially since he was there watching at the time, to the ambassadors he was nothing more than a common whore and they treated him like it. Nevertheless, he managed to endure it.
Following that incident, Radovid mostly used Jaskier in a stealthier way, having him use his charms and go after specific people to sleep with in order to gather information, or, at the very least, leave them in a pleasant enough mood so that they’d be more receptive to the king’s incoming demands.
It seemed he intended to keep Jaskier’s new ‘occupation’ under wraps for the most part, something he probably decided on after seeing the bard take the initiative and approach the ambassadors first.
Jaskier did so because he wanted to preserve what little pride he had left, and because he wished to avoid the feeling of helplessness he experienced previously with the nobles. He decided he was going to do this on his own terms, and that’d be easier to accomplish if his targets thought he was there willingly.
The king was eager to take advantage of this attitude, making it so that people thought Jaskier was seducing them entirely by choice. Everyone simply assumed the bard was returning to his debaucherous ways, not suspecting a thing about the hidden agenda at play.
Jaskier still found himself puking his guts out after a few of those ‘’encounters’’, because even though his partners thought he was there of his own volition, that didn’t mean he was allowed to reject any of their specific wants or kinks, no matter how much they repulsed him. Radovid had made that very clear.
At least this arrangement allowed Jaskier to sleep with people of his choosing as well. He was basically free to do as he pleased as long as he performed his duties diligently. It had the added benefit of making it easier to avoid suspicion since he didn’t only go after those with influence, so the king was on board.
The nobles from that first time were tasked with monitoring him as he used his charm on the targets, making sure he did his job well, and guards were always around to prevent him from escaping, something he didn’t even think to try, too afraid of whatever punishment he would be subjected to if he failed.
Blade, his previous monitor, was nowhere to be seen and the bard had no way of knowing how they fared, or if they were even still alive.
This routine continued smoothly for around two months before certain… rumors made their circles at court. Jaskier first learned of them while in bed with two noblewomen. He was laying on his back while one of them rode him and the other sat on his face, making out with each other.
“Have you- ah! heard about king Henslet of Kaedwen?” The woman on his face asked, breaking away from their kiss.
“Mmm the one that died recently? Wh- oh! What about him?”
“They say he was killed by a witcher.”
The bard’s eyes widened but he continued to move his hips and tongue, fearing that a break in rhythm would disrupt the conversation. The woman riding him made a questioning noise, prompting for more details.
“Ah ah y-yeah, the famous one from the songs. White Wolf or something.”
Jaskier’s movements couldn’t help but falter this time, but thankfully it went unnoticed. The women he was pleasuring had recently arrived from the countryside and hadn’t had a chance to see him play yet, so they didn’t know about his profession or his relationship with said ‘White Wolf’. His mind was reeling. What could have possibly happened for Geralt to make such a decision?
“Huh? Did- ah, someone hire him?”
“I doubt it since he- oh, he was aided by other witchers and non-human folk.” She paused for a moan. “It seems they’ve taken full control of the palace and are establishing their own rule.”
The other noblewoman let out a breathy gasp. “A kingdom run by non-humans? What has the world come to?”
“Ah well, at the end of the day it’s not us, Redanians’, problem so who cares?”
Jaskier wanted to know more, but the women finished soon after and went on their merry way. For the next month he scoured the court for information, and from what he managed to gather, Geralt had united the witcher schools and teamed up together with the elves, dwarves, halflings, gnomes and the rest of the elder races, creating an army strong enough to battle against human oppression, with him as their leader.
Through it all, there was no mention of Ciri, which deeply worried Jaskier, but he continued to hope for the best.
The White Wolf’s army amassed power at an impressive speed, conquering Aedirn next and quickly advancing towards Rivia and Lyria, who didn’t even bother to put up a fight. White flags were already hanging from the castle walls when Geralt arrived, and the monarchs quickly agreed to his terms in a successful attempt to partly maintain their positions by becoming vassals.
Even though he did his best to conceal it, Jaskier was thrilled at this turn of events. He’d spent the majority of his stay in Tretogor worried for his friend, who was on a dangerous mission to find and protect the missing princess of Cintra aka the most wanted person on the Continent.
Like most bards, Jaskier adored heroic tales, and he’d always pictured Geralt as a strong, selfless hero that was destined to save the world, though begrudgingly. It sounded silly, even in his own mind, but all the events so far pointed towards that direction. And as a protagonist, Jaskier expected Geralt to have certain ‘buffs’ to ensure the witcher made it to the end goal.
But as his tutors used to advise, the bard had to remind himself not to cross the line between fantasy and reality. And the reality was that Geralt’s chances of survival were very low. But now, with an army between him and his enemies, the witcher’s safety was all but guaranteed. Jaskier could finally put his mind at ease.
.....
He was about to knock on the large doors of Radovid’s study, wanting to report some information he had extracted from some baron he’d slept with the previous day, when loud voices from inside the room stopped him in his tracks.
“We have to make a move, your Majesty. From what my spies tell me, the White Wolf and his entourage are currently at a standstill, too preoccupied trying to stabilize their reign to notice us if we stage an ambush.” a familiar voice echoed, making Jaskier’s blood run cold when paired with Radovid’s following response:
“You’re right, this is the best time for us to act. Start by gathering the noble’s private armies and put the first order in charge, they’re our best chance at coming up with a successful plan.”
No! Jaskier thought, this can’t be.
No matter how strong Geralt’s army had gotten, they couldn’t possibly hope to compete with Redania, which was arguably the most powerful of the Northern Kingdoms, especially after Radovid’s ascension to the throne.
Redania was currently stronger than ever, more akin to an empire than a kingdom, and they had a much bigger chance at coming victorious when pitted against the Wolflands, as people had taken to calling the parts conquered by the White Wolf.
The bard threw the twin doors open, with force strong enough to make them bang loudly against the walls.
“You can’t do that!” he yelled in accusation, “You promised me that if I came with you, you’d leave Geralt alone!”
Three pairs of eyes, belonging to Radovid, the spymaster Sigismund Dijkstra and the court mage Philippa Eilhart, focused on him. The first two were startled but the remaining one looked bored.
“Well well well, look what the cat dragged in.” The sorceress said in a sing-song voice.
Radovid spared her a glance before blinking his shock away, face hardening. “That was before your dear witcher started conquering kingdoms left and right. You can’t possibly expect me to remain with my arms crossed in this situation.” He said, leaning forwards to place his elbows on the desk in front of him, hands clasped.
“Besides, if I leave him be, what guarantee do I have that he won’t come and whisk you away?” He stood up and made his way towards the bard. “I bet you’ve been wishing for that. Waiting for your knight in shining armor to arrive and save you!” He threw his head back and cackled.
Jaskier looked down at the floor, clenching his fists as his face flushed with embarrassment. What Radovid said was true and the bard didn’t bother to deny it.
A small bit of hope had indeed started building in his chest, becoming larger the more he learned about Geralt’s accomplishments. He’d done his best not to acknowledge it, but Radovid was now forcing him to confront it head on. The foolishness of his thoughts made him burn with shame.
But this wasn’t the time to get caught up in his head, he had to act, and fast.
A tear slid down his cheek and he dropped to his knees. He stared up at Radovid with trembling eyes. “Please don’t hurt him.” He pleaded; his voice barely more than a whisper. He hoped this pathetic display would tug at Radovid’s heartstrings. Whether in pity or glee he didn’t care, though he’d prefer a combination of both.
No matter what had happened between them, Jaskier knew that Radovid still cared for him, in his own fucked-up way, and the bard hoped this little show would be enough to make the other waver.
The king’s eyebrows furrowed and his lips pressed together as his gaze broke away from Jaskier to wander around the room in contemplation. It seemed the bard's prediction had been correct.
Suddenly, Radovid's eyes stopped to rest somewhere off to the side.
A long moment passed and then his face twisted in a wicked smile. The bard turned his head to see Philippa looking back at the king with a matching expression. Dijkstra on the other hand looked just as lost as him.
Finally, Radovid turned his attention back to Jaskier with a glint in his eye. “Fine, I’ll grant you your wish.” Just as relief started filling the bard, the king’s words continued. “But under one condition.”
Jaskier grabbed at Radovid’s cape, fists bunching the soft material, and nodded fervently. “Yes, yes! Whatever it is, I agree!”
The king cocked his head to the side, smirking wickedly. “Even if I were to ask for your soul?”
Jaskier could swear he felt his heart stop for a moment. The bard slowly retracted his hands, resting them atop his thighs, and started fidgeting with his fingernails. Despair threatened to swallow him whole. His soul was all he had left, the only part of him still intact.
If he said yes, he’d completely lose even the smallest chance at freedom. He’d never be able to make his own decisions ever again. His entire being would belong solely to Radovid for him to control and do as he pleased with.
It didn’t sound all that different to his current situation, but the physical restraints he’d become accustomed to were eons apart from the complete and unescapable imprisonment that would follow if he gave up his soul.
But even then, it was a small price to pay. There was nothing Jaskier wouldn’t do to protect Geralt and Radovid knew that. His answer had been obvious from the start.
Okay, this is probably NBD for the really established writers on here, but as a plebeian just trying to entertain as many peeps as possible while surviving the pandemic, this is PRETTY FRIGGIN’ NEAT to me! 🤯
Thank you guys ☺️
And I know it wouldn’t be possible without awesome ppl like @breaniebree , @all-things-jily, @smileyjily, @jilytho, @lilyjamespotter, @imgoodwhataboutyou & @maraudersftw recommending WAYDTM along the way, so thank you. I appreciate you all 🤗💜💛🧡💚💙❤️
Hello! So, my question was *goes to check the post another time* what is your take on Mal as a character? And what's your opinion about Mal and Alina being... endgame on canon? Please, I know the Fandom is super explosive about Aleks/Mal and everything surrounding the end but I don't come to fight, I am genuinely interested in your opinion 😊
Hi! Thanks for dropping by and being so polite!
As it so happens this is a topic I’m very passionate about, so it might be a little more than you bargained for haha. Current warning for anyone else reading this, this is very pro-Mal. So if that isn’t you’re cup of tea, you’ve been warned.
I, personally, like Mal. Obviously everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I have friends who don’t like Mal and that’s fine. I just like him because he’s a realistic character to me. He’s very clearly flawed, but in human ways.
There are a couple of posts that I reblogged that explain their thoughts on this a little better, but I’m going to try my best.
I once had this thought when I was reading the second book when Mal was being genuinely the worst. This was at the point he was pushing Alina away, gambling, participating in the Grisha version of the Fight Club, drinking way too much, and being careless with Alina’s feelings. I literally thought, “Damn it Mal, why are you being such an asshole.”
And I took a step back and took in his perspective. In Book 1, when Alina was taken away from him and he suddenly realized how much he’s taken her for granted and spent the entirety of book 1 worried about her and regretting not being honest with himself he found her. Against all odds, he found her. But then she was different. She was a different Alina than who he had grown up with and not only that but she was one of most revered/sought after women in the country. She was powerful and suddenly so out of his plane of existence. Also the fact that the deadliest man ever to live was after her heart.
Now, any of us would like to think that if our best friend suddenly became massively important and too busy for you we’d be understanding. We’d be understanding that it seems like this relationship that was so important to me suddenly isn’t and the sudden shift in it wouldn’t bother me. I would like to think that I would respond in a mature way and think, “Oh that’s alright. I’m sure they’re better off without me.”
But in reality, that is not how I would be. Or any of us for that matter. When someone is part of your life for that long and then all of a sudden things change there is a terrible transition period that happens. Jealousy is real. Being hurt is real. Reacting badly and being all of the place when that person is close enough for you to see, but far enough for you to feel is real.
All of the bad and ugly feelings Mal has are real.
Does it excuse his actions? Absolutely not.
Do I think that his entire character should be judged because of this brief period in which his whole life has been upended and he reacted badly? No.
Not to mention he is an ordinary person in this extraordinary world. It’s not about the fact that he “lost power over Alina.” It’s literally fear of being around people who can do things that you can’t. It’s about feeling inadequate and inconsequential. It’s about feeling a loss of control so suddenly.
I wouldn’t like or forgive Mal if he hadn’t changed in the third book.
Mal literally understood his mistake at the end of the second book. He had a moment of realization of how much of an asshole he was and he vowed to be better for Alina. He rededicated his life to protect her. He was starting to let her go so that she could marry Nikolai and be the leader that she seemed to want to be.
Two instances did he want to keep his distance from her. Not because he stopped caring about her well-being, but because he cared too much. There was the acknowledgement he had that he didn’t belong in her world anymore, and he would do his best to do what he could where he was at.
That’s growth in my opinion, and nothing gets me more than a good character development. He’s an ordinary man who has mistakes, flaws, but he does have characteristics that show him to be complex and capable of growth.
And in terms of him ending up with Alina. I think, in the end that’s what Alina chose for herself. She had a choice to make at the end of Book 3. A choice to continue to lead the people and be a symbol for Grisha. But she didn’t choose that for herself. She chose to live a quiet life with the man that she knew better than anyone. And I think if we wanted to focus on Alina’s empowerment--then the fact that she was able to choose that is power in itself. The power to say no to power is underrated and I was at least satisfied with the end.
I don’t deny that Aleks/The Darkling is a complex character. He is written to have layers, but I can’t sympathize with him. I thought he was a good villain. I thought he was perfectly written to be an antagonist, but to make him a misunderstood anti-hero is something that I can’t do.
Sorry for such a long winded answer, and I hope that clarifies my stance. Again, your politeness is greatly appreciated. And I hope you have a great day!
