#new prostheses

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New Prostheses?!

So the day is finally here - I will be *hopefully* leaving with my finished prostheses!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have an appointment after work today because I was told they are done. Now this is always subject to any tweaks I think are needed or fitting issues that should be corrected. I only have my iPhone with me so there won’t be high quality footage. I will have some new content and will recorded myself while I practice walking and adjusting to life as a 5′8″ woman. Here we gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

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New favorite pair of tights thanks to my shopping trip to Anthropologie.

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OkCupid, We Need a Break

The other night I deactivated my online dating profile. I haven't even gone on a date in 3 months which I'm more than okay with. I always felt like if I'm in my late twenties I need to be dating. However, if you haven't yet accepted yourself you're kind of wasting everyone's time. Which I was. I wish this notion had occurred to me years ago when I had first started that account. Really, it was only two years ago and I did meet a few people who were pretty great but it just never seemed to move past the first date. Up until my transformation of accepting the fact I am a bilateral amputee and embracing it, I assumed there was something wrong with the other person. In most cases I would find the one ridiculous thing "wrong" about that guy. He wasn't tall enough, he listened to the wrong kind of music, he only owns a bike, he lives with his parents, etc etc. Everyone had issues so there is no need to point that out, even if it was only in my silly, little head.

I've noticed that after inserting the web address to this here blog that my messages had severely declined for online dating. Which again, I don't mind as it's good to let people know who they're dealing with. There have been a few people who look at my page every day and don't ever send a message. There should be a way I don't know about this. I feel like at this point it might be best to just start over with online dating but when I'm good and ready for it. Being in touch with myself and knowing that my health needs to come first is crucial to me right now. Just learning how to walk in a new type of prostheses is draining all my energy. I feel like it's not fair to someone else that may be interested to wait around for the next few weeks as I build my stamina back up. Until I can find an equal balance of energy and general motivation to date again I have to take a time out.

The last couple of people I had talked to on there were not understanding; as finding out I was a bilateral amputee seemingly came out of no where. We had talked a few times and they kept asking to hang out and I was in constant pain in my last pair of prostheses. I am a pretty busy person with two jobs, endless appointments and chronic pain. These last two guys became overwhelming to me and I just shut down. I actually got into a long, drawn out fight with, well two of them. These fights help to prompt me to accept myself and find new ways to approach the subject. Most people don't care and the one's that do aren't worth my time. It's time to show all of me and not just want I thought people wanted to hear about me. Ignoring any aspect makes for less than honest interactions about oneself. Who would want to date someone who wasn't aware of this? As that old turn of phrase says, relationships are built upon trust and some other stuff.

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Healing

Hoping this clears up any confusion:

My legs have had sores in various spots now from the new prostheses and the breakdowns I currently have are from medical tape adhesive. I have small red bumps, i.e. an allergic reaction on the right leg. I'll be posting about it tomorrow. The sores I had for literally the last 3 or 4 years in the old prostheses are all healed up because of the gel liners. I have always taken a long time to heal since I walk around in prostheses every day and don't have enough personal time at work to just stay home with them off for a week. As far as a blood test I get those sort of things done at yearly checkups and have no issues. This isn't my first time with breakdowns that are constant so I'm really not alarmed. The sores prior to this were because the padding inserts were not wide enough and rubbed constantly and that's been fixed. The sore that is 89% healed on my right leg (posted about it a while back) is from the tension the suspension sleeve causes and nothing else rubs on it so I just have to adjust. Now I am almost walking normal but it's still annoying that there is a constant itch feeling. Since I'm dealing with an allergic reaction from the medical tape I haven't been applying the lotion when putting on the gel liners. Hoping the benadryl helps me!

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Twist The Knee

Of course the day I think I'm finally making some improvement in healing and adjusting I step on the wheel of a grocery cart. I was trying to get into the elevator since some guy held it for me and I go and step directly on the wheel and twist my right knee. I mean seriously. Who is this accident prone? It does make sense you are more accident prone when you are already hurt but come on. I have been struggling through the last five weeks to learn how to walk. No falling or major tripping has happened. Tonight I sleep with a bag of frozen peas on my super swollen knee. 

Cheers?

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Response to my last post on leg breakdowns

Uniquebility posted a comment on my last post and I guess I should clear something up. Where I am having the breakdown is not inside the literal socket (which is only a few inches deep) but just above that area where the suspension sleeve and it's causing tension. Today, walking was the best it's been in ages or like five weeks. I'm going to try out some jojoba oil and more eucalyptus to sooth my skin irritations. Probably should do a post about that next as it seems to be helping. Well, I'm not sure about the jojoba oil but the eucalyptus is a godsend. I'm going to see what my prosthetist says about it again but last time she said it was just my body adjusting to the gel liners and suspension sleeve - which does make sense! 

I'll keep my blog updated on this as it's a pretty major part of my life right now. And please keep the questions and suggestions coming - they are beyond helpful to me and others. 

Pain is weakness leaving the body. Mantra as of late. 

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Sweat

I've always been a sweaty person. I'm sure it's because my body is working double time to walk in prostheses or I just have some sort of imbalance. Needless to say, it's just plain gross. I once thought about doing those injections but they only last 3 months or that's what MTV true life told me on some weird episode about people needing strange procedures done. I have now worked out a few times at the gym and my gel liners seriously hold in all this sweat. Which is also pretty gross. Does anyone else have this issue? I'm going to be making a physical therapy appointment to ask all these strange questions and how to go about fixing them. Or at the very least improving my situation. Really glad I'm adjusting and adapting to my new prostheses in the dead of winter otherwise I'd just be swimming everywhere.

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Leg Wraps

On Sunday, after doing a bit of walking, I decided I couldn't do a second bubble bath for the day. I feel so water-logged these past two weeks while I'm adjusting to the new prostheses. I do love a good bubble bath but taking one every day is a bit much. I instead soaked two washcloths in hot water and then wrapped one around each of my legs. I then covered each with a dry towel so I could lay on my sofa without getting it all wet. It put me to sleep almost instantly. I'm not sure if that was because I was exhausted from walking or because of the hot washcloths. I had done this a few times in the past when my legs were hurting/sore for other reasons but not sure why I haven't done it more often. I highly recommend it.