Aug 17, 2020
Looking my name up on the register like, wow its actually real. I have my PIN, I start on Monday on full duties and I finally made it. Three year achievement unlocked 🔓
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Looking my name up on the register like, wow its actually real. I have my PIN, I start on Monday on full duties and I finally made it. Three year achievement unlocked 🔓
I'm 25 years of age but could probably pass for 16 if I tried. I get asked for ID at every opportunity.
I qualified as a midwife in 2016. I worked 12 months in a tertiary referral hospital in Dublin on the postnatal ward and the labour ward. I moved to the NHS in March 2018. I started at a junior band 5 grade because I thought you needed certain skills to be made band 6. March 2019 I got my band 6 after 6 months in the MLU and 6 months labour ward, having completed assessments in cannulation and suturing. September 2019 I'm handed this book by a senior colleague.
I feel I've to prove myself to every patient I meet as someone who is competent and confident. Patients think I'm a student. They ask how long qualified I am. They're often surprised by the answer. I love my job but it's difficult to feel yourself progressing on if everyone always thinks you're only starting. My boyfriend refers to me as a junior senior. I know what I'm doing and I can explain it to anyone but I look and I'm treated like a junior midwife.
glow-up
Denis, they're newly qualified medical professionals, based on that I'm thinking that the education system is doing just fine.
Getting all these emails about *Class of 2020* is surreal. It's like, two weeks from being over. I can't say I hated every minute but it won't go down as my best years and it really is nearly over. And it's so weird. Fingers crossed for my last assignment to come back decent lol 'cause I don't wanna write that shit again. Then, apply for my PIN, start my Induction and away we go. What a strange, strange time to graduate....
I’ve been struggling a lot lately with the transition from student to nurse. Hence why my fics have slowed down a bit.
My last shift I pretty much gave up and went to my usual crying spot (the staff toilet) and sobbed my heart out. My old mentor ended up talking me down through the freaking door because I wouldn’t open the door.
Not my proudest moment.
I’ve had a day off andwent back on duty today with a heavy heart. I went to the loo (to actually pee!) and was faced with wall to wall Batman quotes.
My crying spot has been turned into positive, Batman cupboard with a loo!!
My old mentor just laughed and said the nursing assistants did it because they saw how upset I was and wanted to help.
I’m still not sure how to process their kindness? 🙈
First proper day as a midwife tomorrow...
Shitting myself, not gonna lie. Too much responsibility, what have I done?! 🙈
Today I got shouted at because a doctor forgot to talk to a patient about a result. I stood there for 20 mins while she was telling me how crappy I looked after her the whole day.
She immediately changed when she saw the doctors and her son.
I feel drained.
It’s one of those days where regardless how much you try to do your best shit happens.