On “Nice Guys” and Nice Guys
I believe there are three different categories of Nice Guys, which I will refer to using α, β, and Ω:
β-Nice guys: The type of nice guy we usually think of: for him, being nice and doing nice things is his way of making a romantic advance. During that magically awkward time known as puberty, I became interested in how members of a certain sex could be wooed. According to society, girls, women, and the 90s (fuck you 90s!), a women wants a honest, sincere, compassionate, and nice man. These are all great qualities in a romantic partner. The problem is these are not all the qualities that most people require in their potential mates. It’s just a fraction of the equation, and it’s not enough.
The β-Nice Guy gets frustrated after seeing their friends date assholes. I use the word asshole because it’s often used in this context by β-Nice Guys, and I believe it means someone who appears to not be nice in general to their partner. What makes him a member of the β category is that being nice is a romantic advance, not a demand.
Does being nice work? Not on it’s own. The phrase “Nice Guy” carries negative connotations. The amount of frustrated β-Nice Guys and the success with which the PUA (Pickup Artist) community recruits from them is damning evidence. I’ll even toss in my own personal experience. Nice is a good way to make friends, but who nice doesn’t get pussies throbbing. And being nice is too vague to be an advance in itself!
Ultimately, the β-Nice Guy will get frustrated and/or angry for his continued failures. Whether he blames society or the individuals whom rejected his advances and whether he feels ultimately entitled to romantic desirability will determine his next evolution. (Ω-Nice Guy, α-Nice Guy, PUA, etc.)
Ω-Nice guys: The guys everyone loves to ‘jerk about, but especially certain SJWs. These are the true “Nice Guys”: they expect romantic recompense simply for being “nice” and doing “nice things” for a person. This is, of course, not actually being nice. It’s being manipulative.
There’s a problem though. This definition of Nice Guy is ultimately just a strawman. A caricature. “Why?” asks the astute reader. It’s simple:
The Ω-Nice Guy demands sex or romance in return for being “nice” and doing “nice thing”. This is an attempt at emotional manipulation, as he is not actually being nice.
Society considers a person who demands sexual or romantic favors from women as an asshole.
Being nice it itself is not an effective courting tactic; it doesn’t fucking work. This is demonstrated by the existence of the β-Nice Guy syndrome.
Because of (3), the Ω-Nice Guy must change his tactics to be successful. There are more effective ways to emotionally manipulate women into sex than being nice. Some people are more vulnerable to it than others. Guilting, emotional abuse, etc.
The Ω-Nice Guy has now evolved from an impotent asshole to an actual manipulative menace.
Alternatively, it is possible for the Ω-Nice Guy to realize that he is being emotionally manipulative and to recant his ways. Hopefully he chooses to become a better person.
I’ll confess: there have been situations where some extra pressure on the lady friend would have resulted in sex. I knew the buttons to press and how to press them. I’ve chosen repeatedly not to pressure them. This has most likely resulted in a lot less sex for me, but what good are principles if you toss then aside at will?
Now I’m no hero. And maybe they actually did want me to press those buttons. (Sometimes they would act stubborn, I’d ask them if they didn’t want me to continue, and they would say they were just being bratty and for me to “take them”—no qualms with being dominant and aggressive if you’ve stated you’re good with it!) But knowing that these buttons exist and how scarily fast I would pick up on them† showed me that it is possible for me to manipulate certain kinds of women. That’s a scary thought.
†: For me it only works on submissives only (as in BDSM). Since I’m dominant/switch, I think that’s what my Penis of +2 Oppression is attuned to. It makes it more fun for both if us since I know which buttons to press, which to press until they breaks, and which to leave alone. Also, Does anyone know how to get it to pick up CarTalk instead?
α-Nice Guys: The true Nice Guy, no quotation marks: people who are nice without expectation of reciprocation beyond simple courtesy. I strive for this ideal: to be magnanimous to your fellow human. I am nice to people because I believe that’s part of being a good person. I do hope it shows that I have good characteristics, both to romantic potentiates but really everyone who gets to know me. If you are a dick to people I care about or myself, I will simply avoid you and ignore you, unless you force me to call you out. Please do not do that. I will stand up for my fellow person.
So that’s my spiel on Nice Guys. Lemme know what’s good and what sucks. Let me know what your personal experiences have been on either end of the Nice Guy phenomenon. And let me know how I can improve my writing!
