#niceyminaj

[diaryofvenice]

Hi. Just got home from Laiya, Batangas! I don’t know when I’m gonna blog about it since I’m so lazy, my brother won’t let me use his iPad (our pictures are there!) and my mom is always using the laptop for her work. But I’ll post it soon. I want to keep track of the memories we made. So yeah. Hehe. I know that y’all don’t care about this but this is my blog so shut up ka nalang.  Just kidding! Hahaha 

[diaryofvenice]

To my “Internet Crush”,

It’s been a while.

Yeah. And I miss you, a lot.

I was looking for someone to talk to in MC. Then, you appeared! You showed up. And you seem like a nice guy. So I talked to you and said “hi phoewszx kuya dejk hi kuya” bc I’m really a bhoszxc dejk. Then he said “Hi teh *insert laughing with tears of joy emoji here*” then we talked and talked. It was already 2-3 am in the morning yet we were still up that time so we talked about things and teased each other bc of… idk. Haha you’re really nice and it was nice talking with you! Every time I’m saying goodbye to you, it feels like.. a huge part of my life was taken away. Idk how to say this but i really dont want us to end our conversation. Even tho we haven’t seen each other personally, you still have a special place in my heart. And I hope I also have it too. I miss our “bad ka talaga” “namiss mo ko noh” “oo na qt ka na” convos.

June 10, it’s your day! I’m still thinking if I should greet you or not. A part of me doesnt want to greet you because I’m afraid you wouldn’t reply. But a part of me wants to greet u because I missed you and our late night convos.

So the decision was final.

I will greet you.

But I suck.

Because I only said “HBD” cause I’m afraid you would say a few words but you didn’t. Your response was even longer…

And because I missed you, I replied a while ago. We talked a while ago. Again. As if it was the first time we chatted. You’re still the same old “bad” person I knew.

At first, I really didn’t want to end our conversation but I need to sleep because we still have school tomorrow…

Thanks for your time, bad Kuya.

P.S. Remember when you asked if I missed you and I answered “no”? Well, I was lying that time.

[diaryofvenice]

Yes may music bg na rin blog ko hahahahaha ge

[diaryofvenice]

I'm happy for him.

Yes. I'm happy for him kasi finally, nakahanap na siya ng iba. Same interests, same hobbies, same likes. Bagay nga talaga sila. And to be honest, nung nalaman ko yun. Hindi naman ako nasaktan or nagselos. Nalungkot lang. Bakit nga ba ako nalungkot? Siguro kasi dati... Ako yun e. Ako yung babaeng yun. Dapat. Ako dapat yun. Pero wala e, I'm just a part of his past anymore. Past na hindi na niya babalikan. Anong laban ng past sa present? Anong laban ng dati sa ngayon? Anong laban ng 'was' sa 'is'? To make it short, anong laban ko sa bago niya ngayon? Siguro nga, nasanay lang ako. Nasanay siguro ako na ako lang ung babaeng mamahalin niya. Hays. Eto ang mahirap sakin e. Ang masanay. Tapos kapag nasanay ka na, wala ka nang magagawa. But well.. She better hold him tight. Give him all her love. Do all of the things I didn't do when we were still together. Do all of the things I should've done when I was his girl.

[diaryofvenice]

Swear, hindi ko na talaga papansinin ung messages niya. Hahayaan ko nalang. Kasi makakalimutan ko rin naman eh. Kaya ko 'to.

[diaryofvenice]

Him: Happy New Year! Ano new year's resolution mo?

Him: Uy

Him: Nic :(

Him: Uy

Him: Pansinin mo naman ako

Don't worry, magrereply ako, kasi naman e. You're making it harder for me. Please stop..

[diaryofvenice]

Realtalk...

Wala akong kaibigan dito sa Tumblr. </3 

[diaryofvenice]

Books I want to buy (2015):

The Catastrophic History of Me and You Thirteen Reasons Why Fangirl Eleanor and Park Landline The First Phone Call from Heaven The Abundance of Katherines The Lover's Dictionary Lullabies