corporate dinner - choi san
coworker!san x coworker!m!reader
genre: corporate!au, friends to lovers, mutual pining, a little bit angsty, a little bit suggestive
wordcount: 4.7k words wth
cw: swearing, alcohol is part of the plot! a bit suggestive? I guess? a teeny tiny bit angsty. lmk if I missed anything!
note: the wanteez episodes of ateez drinking ignited this, I still can't stop thinking about whiny pouty san... probably not the last you will hear of this prompt, could imagine writing a part two that involves smut... anyways enjoy reading!!!
divider by @ aquazero
The evening has slowly spiraled out of control. It started off as usual, a team dinner after finally wrapping up a project. Excited and relieved as everyone was, considering the positive note they were able to wrap up with, it is no surprise that tonight is filled with laughter, music and dancing. Regardless, it shocks Y/n a bit to see his coworkers, usually so composed and focused, lose their minds after 2 bottles of soju. The contrast between the hardworking, professional side he is used to and the lulled, stupid behavior he is witnessing is almost unbelievable enough to sober him up.
When the final presentation of the project ended, the team agreed to meet for dinner. Hongjoong, the project manager, seemed particularly pleased with the results of their hard work, so he even insisted on treating everyone. This only lifted moral even more, everyone now looking forward to filling their greed for food and alcohol until they burst. Especially Wooyoung was keen on this offer, trapping Jongho in a monologue about what drinks to get that he did not care about enough to listen to.
"Let's each go home and freshen up first, if you're all alright with it", Yeosang suggested. Hongjoong checked his watch: "Works for me, we'll meet at our usual spot at 7. Everyone get home safe, good work!" And with that, they were dismissed, each on their respective way home.
When Y/n got to the restaurant, it was 7:20pm. it couldn't be helped, his commute to the restaurant wasn't exactly convenient. Regardless, he loved the place. Standing lamps arranged all around the small-ish restaurant irradiate warm lighting, which makes it impossible to not feel comfortable and at ease there. Since it isn't a very popular place, it is never overly busy, and the team being regulars made it inevitable for all of them to eventually get quite close to the owner. Which comes with it's perks, hence the amount of times they get an extra dish or two for free, often followed by something along the lines of "and don't ever let me find out you skipped dinner to finish a report again".
Mingi spots Y/n, and waves him over with a smile. Everyone has arrived, already comfortably settled around a large table at the back of the restaurant, their standard spot. When the rest of the group notices Y/n approach, they respectively greet him. "We went ahead and ordered a few things. Feel free to add anything you might want", Hongjoong reports. Y/n nods, looking around the table at his team members, all huddled in their respective conversations. The seat they left vacant for him is between San and Yunho. This realization makes Y/n nervous, but he does his best to brush it off and gets settled in himself, slipping of his coat to hang it up on the closest coat hanger.
Working in an environment mostly populated by men comes with its challenges. Dealing with egotistical, conceited idiots who are so full of themselves they might choke on their own dicks some day, that was a challenge Y/n expected, but keeping strictly professional relationships with his coworkers (one specific coworker, to be exact), friendly and platonic at most, that's something he forgot to think about. Who goes into a new company, new environment, new job, thinking "I bet this random software company is filled to the brim with hot guys". You can't really blame Y/n for overlooking this possibility, but god, does he struggle with this the most.
When he first joined the company, Y/n was worried he would have to force himself out of his shell, squeeze his way into conversations, make three times the normal effort to finally feel at ease. A completely new field of work was overwhelming enough, but having to socialize with a whole network of new people? He was understandably worried about fitting in, too. His team members, on the other hand, immediately took him under their wing. The department of the company they worked at being somewhat small, still developing, it was always the 9 of them working together, so it didn't take long to get to know everyone. Inviting him to join them for team dinners, drinks after a tedious workday, bringing him snacks when he was too busy to eat properly. It took them no time to take care of him, not just as their junior, but as their friend. After just three weeks, Y/n felt so comfortable at work, he almost didn't want to go back to his empty apartment at the end of the day.
Nevertheless, a new issue quickly arose. Everyone was great, each with their own quirks, and of course Y/n got along better with some of his colleagues than with others. The big problem was how well he got along with a particular someone. While he was still learning the ropes of everything, assisted by Hongjoong's strict but patient directions, Y/n got to join a small team on his first project with the company.
On his first day, Hongjoong lead Y/n to his workspace, showing him around the floor in which their department is settled. As they passed by one of the meeting rooms, Y/n caught a glimpse of an ongoing discussion through the opaque glass walls. He would introduce himself to his new coworkers in a routinely meeting in a short while, so he was tense as is.
"Right... I think that's all for now!", Hongjoong exclaims, "I know this is a lot at once, so don't be shy and ask for directions again if you forget where to go." His hand pats Y/n's shoulder comfortingly. "You seem tense... is there anything you need?" Y/n softy shakes his head, a small smile tugging on his lips, "Oh no, don't worry about me. I just have to get used to everything, I'll be fine soon." Hongjoong's kindness swiftly put him at ease, and he could feel some of the nerves dissipate.
"Happy to hear that! I think you'll fit in just fine, everyone is- speaking of, San, get over here!", Hongjoong calls out to someone behind Y/n. Slowly turning around, Y/n meets a tall, broad man's sharp gaze. His eyes widen for a split second, mesmerized by the strangers good looks. He's walking towards them, calm and composed, as a small smile adorns his beautiful features. "Morning! What's up?", the man speaks, eyes darting between Hongjoong and Y/n. "I want to introduce you to our newest addition to the team", Hongjoong steps aside, letting Y/n face the new figure. He can't help his beating heart as he speaks, polite smile artificially masking his flushed face, "Nice to meet you, my name is Y/n L/n. I hope to work well with you!" The smile on the strangers face grows wider, making Y/n's heart leap involuntarily. "I'm San. Choi San." His soft, big hand extends towards Y/n, who hesitantly shakes it. The contact of their skin spreads goosebumps up Y/n's arm, almost up to his neck.
'i am so screwed', is all Y/n could think in that moment. And that thought accompanied him throughout the past year at this company.
It was pure physical attraction at first, and who could blame him. San is a man created by the kindest gods, blessed with a diligently crafted body and sharp, intimidating features, that still manage to feel soft. Suddenly, Y/n could feel himself developing feelings, too. San is an admirable person after all, soft-spoken, kind, smart, and on top of that, witty, reflected and so cute when he's not trying to be. Realizing these feelings were growing felt like a doomsday announcement. It's not like Y/n could ever do something about them, considering they work together so closely. On top of everything, over the short time they had known each other, they had grown to be friends, fairly close at that. And the last thing Y/n wants is to put that at risk for a good fuck and maybe breakfast the next morning.
On the other hand, how could he ever get over him, forget about him, when he was strutting around right in front of his nose, black glasses framing is thin eyes, in a suit, for god's sake, all day long, every workday, and maybe for the rest of his career. That doesn't make it easier on Y/n to try to move on, or to at least focus on his work for more than 15 consecutive minutes.
San's gaze follows Y/n's every move, suddenly distracted from the heated debate him and Seonghwa next to him were disputing. It's involuntary, really, the way he looks past Seonghwa's shoulder at Y/n, making room for his coat amongst the 8 jackets of his team members. When Y/n raises his arms to adjust his belongings into the mess, his sweater rises dangerously, and San blushes, unable to look away. Seonghwa trails off, glancing back over his shoulder at San's hypnotizing distraction. "Ya! You can gawk at eye candy all you want later, this is serious business we're talking about here!", he exclaims, smacking San back to their conversation. "Seonghwa. I don't care. I do not care what kind of Legos you should get next", San furrows his brows, then leans closer to hiss into Seonghwa's ear, "and don't say that, are you insane? He could hear you, moron!" Seonghwa just smirks back at him, small glass of soju in hand, twitching his eyebrows up to add: "you're just scared he could hear what you really think of him..." Now San deeply regrets telling Seonghwa about his recurring Y/n themed dreams in a moment of weakness.
It's silly, how it all started with a single dream. Not an innocent one, but still. Just a dream. Alas, ever since, San can't help but see Y/n in a different light. Working together on this past project was a blessing and a curse, getting to spend more time with someone he had quickly grown to call a friend, but also being tempted with his presence constantly. San has become a god of self-restrain, though lately he's been doubting his ability to persevere through temptation. What if Y/n could ever feel the same way? What if he's not just imagining the longing looks and prolonged conversations, just to be around each other a few seconds longer? And surely, the dream that ignited it all becoming a recurring one did not help one bit. On some days, it makes San have to avoid Y/n altogether, for fear his dirty thoughts are somehow visible through his guilt.
"What are we so secretive about", Y/n questions as he sits down, now also leaning over towards Seonghwa. He misses the look of panic in San's eyes, accompanied by a deep blush. How could Y/n get so close to him and not notice what it did to him? It almost felt cruel. Seonghwa leans back, directing his focus on his full plate, "San won't help me choose my next Lego set because he sucks. Will you help me choose?"
After eating to their heart's content, and fueled by many drinks, the group stumbles out of the restaurant, now headed to karaoke. Yunho is already singing whatever song he's reminded of in that instant, as Jongho and Yeosang try to indicate the group into the right direction. Y/n, being sober enough to walk straight up, is entrusted with San and Seonghwa, one of them each leaning on Y/n's sides, an arm over his shoulders. Sure, Y/n's not weak, but 2 adult men wobbling in opposite directions might be a bit too much for his sense of balance to handle, even relatively sober.
"Y/n's so strong!", Seonghwa exclaims, raising his arms in the air dramatically, "don't you just wish he's pick you up off the ground, San?" He leans forward to look at his drunk companion with as much momentum as his torso allows, almost making him faceplant into the ground. "Seonghwa, please just stay upright, this is hard enough as it is...", Y/n wines. Seonghwa's comment goes right over his head, but not over San's, who leans forward as dangerously as his taunting friend, pouting: "Yeah Seonghwa, shut up!" It takes Y/n a lot of patience to get them walking again without nagging incessantly, dragging him into their stupid bickering.
Finally, they somehow all make it to the karaoke place in one piece, Mingi and Wooyoung leading the way excitedly. The group is assigned a spacious room, with enough room on the couch to house the lightweights as they recover for round two.
Yunho quickly pulls Y/n in front of the screen for a duo, and they start the session off strong and full of energy. Though the two of them are supposed to be the ones singing, as a familiar tune sets in, the entire group can't help but join in, as loud as their lulled vocal cords allow. Wooyoung sways from side to side on the couch, and gives Jongho a dirty look as his friend does no work to conceal his vocal talents. Yeosang observes the scene, peacefully humming along, while Mingi has no trouble letting out the scratchiest off key singing this place has had the pleasure of hearing.
Drained after a few songs, Y/n passes on the mic to Hongjoong, who seems to be especially keen on the next song. He sits down on the couch and reaches for a fresh bottle of water. "Y/n..." Barely above a whisper, a call for him turns his attention over to San. And what the sight does to him.
San is slumped in the leather cushions, white button up tight around his toned torso, and a button or two have released the hint of his broad chest. Y/n can't help but wonder when that happened... Even in the dark, it's impossible to overlook San's flushed face, both from the alcohol and the heat that has started to overtake the poorly ventilated room. His eyes twinkle up at Y/n a way he has never seen before. Y/n can only look over at San, unable to speak, too distracted by his beautiful deer-like eyes. "Y/n..." San mumbles again, leaning towards his coworker. "Yeah..." Y/n responds automatically, still very much distracted by the sight. God what he wants to do to San... "have to tell you something", San declares, clumsily sitting up. Y/n can barely hear him over Mingi and Wooyoung's emotional rendition of what's supposed to be Let Me Know by BTS. "Let's get you drinking some water first, hm?" Y/n comes to his senses. "Have you had more to drink since we left the restaurant? You don't look so good..." San straightens up as much as he can, doing his very best to hold eye contact: "Yes, but. I am perfectly fine." His gaze darts all around the room, incapable of looking at Y/n for longer than a few seconds. 'God how cute', Y/n thinks, a gentle smile slipping out.
San scoots closer to Y/n. Slowly, gently, he leans his tired torso against Y/n's stiff shoulder, looking up at him. San's eyes glisten in the dark, the colors of the screen across the room bouncing off his iris, drawing Y/n into his gaze even more. How could someone be so beautiful, and so clueless about it? "Don't look at me like that..." is all Y/n can mutter. He can't help his beating heart, drawn to his drunk colleague's gentle and tired eyes. "Like what?"
San's gaze locks on Y/n's parted lips. The sight so inviting. He can't help himself, peeling his eyes from the plush shape the last thing he would do, even if the world ended right then. Still, he watches Y/n gulp, Adams apple bobbing in his throat. He observes Y/n's heaving chest. He analyzes the trajectory of Y/n's gaze. San's mind is full of him, and blank at the same time.
"San..." Y/n exhales, gaze dark, but contained. There's something in it that San can't quite read, can't put his finger on, but he senses something within the composed, guarded look. He's eager to find out what his intuition points him to. Maybe too curious for his own good, he lifts his head, staying close to Y/n, closing in on his captivating eyes. "Y/n." As gentle, soft, warm as his tone is, San's voice sends a shiver down Y/n's spine. The world seems to be void of anyone else, or it seems to narrow in on just the two of them. It's almost frightening how intimate it feels, sitting next to a man he's been yearning for for an entire year, who's probably drunk off of his mind and just trying to stay awake.
That makes his stomach drop. The idea that this beautiful, adoring look San is gifting him is just the aftermath of 2 bottles of soju. The thought that on Monday, back at the office, his colleague won't remember he made Y/n's heart rate quicken, his body run hot, his stomach flip in all directions.
Y/n looks down at the table across from the couch, distracting himself with the labels on the bottles scattered around it. The weight of San's eyes on him starts to feel suffocating, overwhelming. It start to hurt. What's the use? Wishful thinking and misleading hope isn't gonna get him anywhere but to pain. He needs to snap out of it. He knows how much he needs to move on. So why can't he?
"Don't frown... makes me sad..." a voice, like a curse, whispers. He feels the warm breath of a dream on his ear, tempting and alluring. Instead of meeting his gaze, doing what he's been holding back all evening, he rises, almost loosing his footing at the speed.
Fresh air. A minute of fresh air and he'll be fine again. Not bothering to grab his coat, Y/n leaves the loud and lively room behind. He speeds down the hall, around the corner and out the front door. The night breeze harshly grazes his skin, but he's almost thankful for the slap it seems to give him.
Distance. Turning a new leaf. All options to move on flood his mind. Y/n realizes it's not his logical side speaking anymore, it's his survival instinct. If he doesn't move on, he's going to succumb to the pain, the desperation, the need for something more than just friendship. Looking around at the night surrounding him, his frowning gaze rests back on the entrance of the karaoke place. Voices, music and laughter seep out through the cracks of the building. How could he feel so miserable so suddenly? After having such a good time with his team? He almost feels guilty, for ruining his own evening, for disrupting a night that could have ended just as well as it started. Defeated, Y/n steps back into the building, eager for a drink.
In the main area of the karaoke place, a long bar fills up most of the space. Dim, colorful lighting invites the guests to let loose, but Y/n is long out of that mood. He takes a seat on one of the bar stools and orders himself a bottle of something. Back hunched over the bar, his mind wanders, inevitably spiraling.
San is left dumbfounded. Did he go too far? All he wanted was to feel whole again, to feel Y/n's warm presence against his skin, to feel his safe gaze on his face. His sudden departure makes the room feel empty. It makes San feel empty. He scans the room, seemingly registering the chaos around him for the first time all night. His friends don't seem to be aware of the world changing moment San just experienced. The rollercoaster of emotions that travels through his body. Y/n felt so close, so close to finally crossing the line. San's wanted this for so long, too long. What if he missed his chance? What if this is Y/n's way of saying 'I'm not interested, thank you'? What if he pushed Y/n hard, too hard, so hard he ended up pushing him away?
Seonghwa suddenly appears sitting next to him, leaning towards San's face. "What happened?", he slurs. "Y/n... he just..." San turns toward the door, behind which Y/n disappeared just a few moments ago. Seonghwa sighs dramatically, grabbing San's shoulder to shift his attention back to him.
"San. Follow him." "What are you talking about?" Rolling his eyes, Seonghwa rests his tired body against the couch cushions. "You obviously want to. So go and follow him." "No. I messed it up. I made him uncomfortable." San pouts. "Oh my god. You are so dense it hurts", Seonghwa wines. "Listen. Did he, or did he not, look at you the way I saw him look at you?" "Huh?" "DID HE OR DID HE NOT LOOK LIKE HE WANTED YOU TIED TO HIS BED?" Seonghwa rephrases, raising his voice considerably. "I think... maybe...." San mumbles, gaze dropping to the floor as he fidgets with his fingers. "Then trust me, it's not too late, and you didn't mess it up. As long as you stand your scared baby ass up RIGHT NOW and eat his face. So GO!" Seonghwa exclaims, very agitated. "Hyung, you're scaring me..." San whines. When he recognizes Seonghwa's murderous eyes, his body jumps into action.
He jolts up and bolts out the door. Not sure where to look, he stops in the bar at the end of the hallway. Worries flood his mind again. What if Y/n went home? What if he can't find him in the streets, full of people heading to and from parties? As his mind clouds with distress, his gaze locks on a familiar sweater. The hunched back it drapes over overshadows the relief San feels with a sharp ache. His body moves on instinct, approaching his colleague.
From the corner of his eye, Y/n spots San. Heart stopping, and unsure what to do, he freezes in place, gaze staring into the glass in front of him.
Now standing next to Y/n, San's mind goes completely blank. All he can focus on is the pained creases around Y/n's eyes, his pressed lips, his furrowed brows.
Y/n feels a warm hand on his shoulder, a soft whisper barely audible over the loud music around. His heart clenches painfully, but he turns towards the familiar figure anyway.
San hurts at the sight of Y/n's smile. Though soft, and somewhat genuine, it clearly shapes the dam to something more. His eyes give him away, soft in a way that pains to see. "Y/n...", San's hand slides down Y/n's arm, leaving the skin he touches burning, "I'm sorry..." "What for?", Y/n questions, still holding up a smile. Getting over San was going to be a herculean task, but he had to start someday.
"I... made you uncomfortable", San's eyes drop to the floor, "I'm sorry. I just..." He looks around, at the dark room around them, the people scattered around, smiling and laughing, humming along to the music playing. "Let's talk somewhere quiet", he suggests, taking Y/n by the hand.
Following San, all Y/n can think about is how soft, yet strong San's hand feels around his. He never imagined it could feel so warm and so intimate to hold someone's hand, but somehow here he is, feeling as connected to San as he did in the loud and chaotic room before. The world narrows in on the both of them again as San reaches the end of the hall, where the music in the club's respective karaoke rooms is much more faint. He almost forgets the distress he'd been feeling just a few moments ago. Emphasis on almost.
"i made you uncomfortable." Y/n meets San's serious gaze. His heart clenches. "No! You didn't, San, I just..." His eyes drop to the floor for an instant. Uncertainty takes over. In front of him, seemingly more composed and sober than anticipated, San waits patiently, calmly, for him to go on. Which makes him even more unsure. He sighs deeply. "You didn't make me uncomfortable."
"Are you sure? Because the last thing I want is to ruin a good relationship with someone I treasure a lot over stupid feelings..." San doubles down.
Y/n's stomach flips. "What... do you mean?"
Slowly, San takes a step closer. He can almost hear his own heartbeat. Or maybe he actually can, the sound seeming to resonate through his ribcage and into his skull. "I... really care about you, Y/n. So much. You're more than a colleague to me. More than a work friend..."
Y/n's heart hammers against his chest. He doesn't allow himself to believe what he's hearing, as badly as he wants it to be true. It just cannot be true. The fear of being wrong, misreading the situation, is greater than his yearning, desperation for what he's wanted for a year. "San, you've had a lot of drinks. You're not thinking straight. Maybe this is something we should talk about sober..." Y/n attempts, trying to ground San back into reality. "Yes I am. My mind has never been this clear." And he means it. It may feel like he's standing at the edge of a cliff, gaze set on the void below, dangerously close. But his mind is clear, his thoughts as articulate and precise as ever.
Very slowly, leaving room for rejection, San leans closer, Y/n stepping back until his back meets the wall. Resting a hand on the wall behind Y/n's head to ground himself, his eyes narrow on Y/n's lips again. "You're drunk..." Y/n tries again. At this, San frowns for a split second, before responding: "I'm not drunk enough to do anything I don't mean." He swallows, his melting gaze traveling between Y/n's eyes and his lips. "I'm starting to think even if my mind was as clear and pure as humanly possible, you wouldn't believe what I tell you...", he finally states, voice trailing off into a whisper.
Y/n's stomach drops. The hurt in San's eyes is almost unbearable. The thought of messing up what he and San have, whatever it is, fogs his mind. Fear crawls up his throat, inevitable as he feels he finally ruined everything. But San speaks again, in a whisper, pulling him back to the dark narrow corner of the hallway they're standing in. "Let me show you how earnest I am..."
Gentle and soft, his lips lock on Y/n's. It's slow, San noticeably holding back, almost as if any harsh movement could scare Y/n away. So when he finally feels Y/n relax, melting into his lips, he hums, brows furrowed, and can't help but intensify the kiss. All his emotions, his pent up want and yearning flow into the kiss, overwhelming as he presses Y/n into the wall. Y/n's hands clasp his thin waist, digging into the muscular flesh. All the frustration, anxiety and confusion they've been dragging along all night, and the past year, comes crashing down and feeds into how hungry and passionate the kiss turns. Open mouthed, wet and loud, they melt into one as they moan and hum in between kisses. San keeps Y/n so firmly and strongly in place against the wall, their chest pressed together. His hands tangle in Y/n's hair, deliciously tugging at the soft strands.
Finally breathless, San rests his forehead against Y/n's. A warm, shaky hand cups Y/n's cheek, stroking the soft skin. Catching his breath, San mumbles into the thick air: "You believe me now, or do I have to prove myself otherwise?"
a/n: FINALLYYY this has been cooking for long enough ugh. hope you enjoyed, I'm always happy to hear your thoughts. reblog are greatly appreciated :))) thanks for reading!!
