#niece creature

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I am on my way to being the best auntie ever or the worst sister-in-law that ever lived. Possibly both.

I am making my 2-year-old niece a plushy for her birthday. She is very hands-on baby and wants to help with everything and be involved in the center of attention. A few weeks after her birthday everyone is going dipnetting. She is two and can not help with dip netting or do anything but watch.

So I am making her a toy salmon. And I am making it so she can filet it. It has guts. It has bones. It is all one piece and child friendly, and I am debating using embedded magnets or velcro to hold the filets on.

She has a kitchen set with a little wooden knife at her grandparents house, who have already heard about this and think its a great idea. We are gonna teach this kid to clean and process fish. She already knows where meat comes from and she will want to get in and do what everyone else is doing which she can not do because the fish are only slightly smaller than she is.

So, salmon plushy

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I gave my niece her plushy. She figured it out immediately and was promptly distracted by balloons and cake and the other toddler in attendance who was mildly entertained by the fish and then ran off to go rampage through a flowerbed. Everyone else on the other hand was enraptured for the rest of the day by a filetable salmon plushie complete with guts.

It's fun to see how peoples minds work because everyone unanimously and independently came to the conclusion that the obvious next step is a filetable halibut. But what was funny was that across the board I got the somewhat joking recommendation/ request for a caribou that could likewise be processed.

Friends. I think it should be obvious by now that I am more than willing to transgress the boundaries of absurdity when it comes to plushies. I'm already brainstorming.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

I'm coloring with my 4 year old niece and this Alaskan child thinks night time is colored pink and she's right. Midnight sun kiddos.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

Lemme explain my problem to you. My massage therapist is also my sister in law is also the mother of the reason I need a massage therapist. Every time I see her I wind up dancing around like a maniac with a giggling toddler on my shoulders. It's great and we're having a ball and my back is sore and my massage therapist is busy.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

yknow, if i was hot and sweaty and incapable of doing anything about it and constantly being crammed into a 5 point harness while I had a UTI and had to deal with a bunch of over familiar strangers who claimed to be distantly related, I would also chuck a screaming fit. I would also not be particularly receptive to people attempting to help me, even if it really would make me feel better.

I get it kiddo. I really do. Being 2 is hard.

[sea-salted-wolverine]

so i have just returned from a family vacation which included my beloved niece creature who is almost 2. i am solidly in her top ten favorite people which certainly sounds like an accomplishment until you consider the fact she doesn't know that many people on account of being almost 2.

however, I am rapidly gaining status in her mom's eyes because I seem to be the only person who can get this kid to chill out for more than 45 consecutive seconds.