#nihil rants

[artemisnihil]

Why are there only two Eragon/Vanir fanfics on AO3?? Does no one recognize the inherent eroticism of sword fighting rivals? Of a young elf as immature as the human he insults??? Can we not recognize that Vanir is more suitable than Arya in every way????? Do I have to do everything myself????

[artemisnihil]

I despaired over the lack of Eragon/Vanir fanfiction, but I can’t find even one fic that even mentions Iorunn! She was openly flirting with Eragon at every clanmeet! He blushed and called her a great beauty every time he happened to look at her! Am I the only one who sees the potential here?? Where are all the obscure Eragon shippers???

He is a rider and thus needs a partner who is as long-lived as him. No human will do. The elves are obvious, but it could be a dwarf! Eragon and Iorunn would be such a power couple!!

[artemisnihil]

I think I’ve finally figured out what doesn’t work for me about Wednesday.

In other Addams Family adaptations, they operate on cartoon logic where you know no one is actually going to get hurt. They drop the baby out a window, and you know fate will contrive to make it all work out. They fence and throw knives and use guillotines and the audience is confident that the beloved Addams Family members will escape unharmed. This is the source of much of the humor and also what makes their love of torture, etc. palatable to the audience.

The new Wednesday adaptation breaks that contract with the audience almost immediately by raising the stakes and having people actually die.

Joking about loving poison and torture and monsters isn’t nearly as funny when characters are actually dying from those things.

It just doesn’t work.

[artemisnihil]

TikTok

This tiktok triggered a memory for me.

When I was taking an SSAT practice test in 9th grade I got a question wrong because I didn’t know that Bill was short for William. It makes no logical sense. It would never be taught in school. The only way to know it is to just pick up on it naturally in your day to day life.

That was the moment I realized that standardized tests are culturally biased.

It had never occurred to me before, because I was a part of the culturally dominant group that wrote the tests. But when I got that question wrong, I thought, “if I didn’t know the answer - even being surrounded by people named Bill or William - imagine how much harder it must be for kids living in places where that isn’t a common name.”

And once I noticed that, I started noticing lots of little cultural “common sense” traps scattered throughout the test.

When I scored in the 99th percentile on the SSAT, people told me that I was so smart and that I deserved it. But I knew there was more to it than that. And I hoped that the admissions officers did too.

[artemisnihil]

Thoughts on The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes (Hunger Games prequel)

[no specific spoilers. just vague reflections and ramblings]

my favorite thing about the book is that it is told entirely from Snow’s perspective, so all his decisions are explained and it would be natural to sympathize with him. But I didn’t! I could see how his thoughts got where they were, and how his decisions made sense to him, but I still disagreed with his thoughts at just about every point! His motivations were totally messed up! 

At points I couldn’t help but root for him a little bit, but ultimately he’s still a Bad Person. I can’t think of any other books that offer quite the same perspective.

It really lends weight to the idea that everyone thinks of themselves as the hero of their own story, but that doesn’t actually make them a hero.

Understanding the perspective, thought processes, and difficult childhood of a dictator doesn’t make them less of a dictator in my eyes.

And yet he didn’t seem cartoonishly evil the way he did in the original trilogy. Because I knew what he was thinking, it all made sense. It was wrong, but it made sense.

It was a nuanced and realistic take on how a dictator can come to power - and the systems that enable him.

[artemisnihil]

First takeaway from Midnight Sun: Edward knew exactly how creepy he was being. He used the word stalking to describe his behavior. He calls himself a peeping tom.

He is also very aware of the times he didn’t give Bella the chance to say No and is appropriately guilty about it. And appropriately elated every time she says yes. He said the mushroom ravioli dinner didn’t count as a first date because he didn’t give Bella the chance to say no. He had a panic moment where he said “oh no is this coercion? Am I coercing her?”

From Edward’s point of view, the monstrous things he does really are monstrous, not romantic.

Anyway I’m glad Stephanie Meyer is leaning into this idea. She had a chance to change the meaning of the story and she took it.

[artemisnihil]

The Difference Between Myanmar and the USA

(Just some stream of consciousness thoughts on the current situation)

In the USA, there were claims of widespread voter fraud. A sitting president provoked an attack on the capitol. A significant portion of the country supported this. But because of laws and precedents, the next president was still peacefully inaugurated. 

In Myanmar, there were claims of election fraud. The military staged a coup and took power back from the people’s government. The people are NOT standing for it, and yet they are powerless to reclaim the government on their own.

In America, I feared our democratic rights would be stolen from us. In Myanmar, they were.

I spend a lot of time criticizing America, but I am proud we were able to preserve our democracy. In this, I am grateful to be an American.

I hope that the military government of Myanmar will be overcome. I hope they can achieve the democracy they have been building towards these past few years. 

I remember seeing a photo of a group of my coworkers from Myanmar a few months ago, standing proudly in front of the embassy on their way to go vote. It makes me unbearably sad and angry to see their vote made meaningless.

I would like to acknowledge that America and other democratic nations have accomplished a great thing in establishing consistent democratic policies, and that it doesn’t come easily. Power is never relinquished freely, it is always taken. Who is going to help the people of Myanmar take back their power? Will the world stand with them?

[artemisnihil]

Trying really really hard to understand astrology and why people like it

as part of my goal this year of letting go of my intellectual superiority complex I am putting in a good-faith effort, I really am

but it is literally all made-up bullshit and I cannot fathom how anyone gets any meaning out of it???

My natal chart kept giving me whiplash because it was 50% shocking truth and 50% absolutely not about me at all and often opposite to my nature. which is like... duh... because its just a collection of observances about the way people are so some of them will apply to me and some won’t. If I read anyone’s natal chart i will get the same ratio of “Wow it really KNOWS me” to “WTF I don’t do that”

So I tried to just look for nuggets of wisdom in all that writing, which was the point of the exercise anyway. Looking for things to help me on my inner journey. I highlighted things. I took notes.

But I just straight-up did not enjoy it. 

I’d be vibing with a certain passage and then it would hit something that was so Not Me that it would just ruin the whole preceding bit. 

My thoughts would go something like this:

---

“ You need activity and a change of scenery often, or you feel restless.”

oh hey that’s true!

“You take pride in your mental agility and your friendships.”

yeah thats right!

“You are able to adapt quite easily to whatever environment you're in.”

um no actually i struggle with that but let’s keep going

“There is a strong need to communicate your knowledge to others and to learn.” 

yep I feel that

“Your curiosity is endless.”

I aspire to that but idk

“Take pride in your intellectual or communicative abilities without feeling the need to lord it over others or to always be "in the know".”

Oh good advice! is this the nugget of useful wisdom I was hoping to find?

“You have a solid grasp of facts.”

I’d like to think so :)

“You have a strong influence on your peers.”

wtf no i don’t. also what does that have to do with the previous statements? oh wait I just remembered that astrology is just throwing random statements at the wall and seeing what sticks, and its just  a coincidence that this paragraph had such a long streak of accuracy.

---

so yeah it is really not working for me. 

Do other people not find this as off-putting as me? What is fun about this???

I realize this is a pretty negative rant-y post but if I have any followers who actually enjoy astrology and want to explain what you find enjoyable about it, I’d like to hear.