Im many things at my roots, and one of them is being a quilldren 💙😭 (please dont look at the hand too long, hands are hard ok. Or the arm. Im trying this was months ago)
your heart swells.
"i like you."
it's much more than like, and you know it.
Notes:
remember keep this out of public spaces or ill have to slime u out gen
please enjoy! i need to get back into my pondering seinyan era and stop writing sm smut smh
pls enjoy! i tried to pour my heart into this
your heart swells.
"i like you."
it's much more than like, and you know it.
"i like you."
you think as you listen to Seible's melodious laugh, so infectious it has everyone cracking a smile. the way he tilts to the side and his eyes turn to crescents, similar to the ones in his signature designs. he would just start ijboling and it would infect you within seconds. to hear him be so happy made you just as happy, if not more so. you would lovingly watch his model sway side to side (he could never stay still for more than a moment, you observed fondly), thankful your own model didn't properly convey the lovesick expression on your face.
"i like you."
you think randomly whenever you're in a deep conversation with the promoter over VC. he could simply be telling you how his day went, or how his stream went if he streamed that day. you are so content with just listening him, to the point you picked up on his speech mannerisms. how he would draw out some of his words and drop his voice a bit to demonstrate seriousness; "whaaat? Seinyan, i would never do no such thing…" only to giggle a few seconds later. the twang in his voice whenever he sang. when he enunciated syllables in his sentences, like the "s" in a word (you noticed this in his cover of One Last Kiss, and this you found incredibly endearing).
you are in love. you know it. how could you not love such a bubbly, down to earth, sweet, respectful, humble, responsible, flirtatious…ahem. such a chill guy?
he was always a topic when you chatted with your viewers. you always referenced him, like his "this is not a safe space, this is a safe-ISH space". or his "that's craaaazy" or his "get 'em!" or snicker at the word "balls". you seemed to know quite a bit about Seible. even the Seinyans noticed and nominated you as Seinyan president. much to your embarrassment, because the brunette was aware and made certain to tease you about it here and there. you just really admire him, okay?! god forbid…
and then. you were able to do an off collab with Seible. panicking is an understatement. you could no longer think nor breathe. you couldn't even sleep the night prior due to nervousness and excitement. never had you been so eager to hop on a train before. you were also extremely glad you moved to Japan from the States, so you could be closer to all your wonderful senpai. you constantly checked your appearance, praying to whoever was listening that you didn't look like a chud.
but also also you had to remind yourself that this was a co worker! you could not be this nervous around someone you're working with. but when you were met with those bright eyes and tilted upward smile, you knew you were gone. it was over.
you were falling hard.
you tried to hide it, compartmentalize these developing feelings. shoving them in a box, throwing chains around them, locking it, and tossing the key. but they somehow snaked out anyway, its roots branching out into your little heart. you couldn't control your body's reactions to him when he was near. you couldn't pull away. you didn't want to.
you began to critisize yourself for every little thing. you kept singing the same line of a cover over and over again. pushed yourself for longer streams. stared at yourself in the mirror for hours, trying to see what Seible sees when he looks at you. just a kouhai, a co worker, a stranger, a friend…or something more? he has always been strange and random, and not knowing what he thought about you behind those bangs comforted you and frightened you.
this silent love--you claimed you would be okay with keeping--was eating you alive. bottling it up was no good. but who could really blame you? rejection was awful, and so much was at stake. a friendship so genuine and true. it could be gone in one poorly said sentence.
"i like you."
ridiculous. you are ridiculous. this damned heart of yours too.
so you finally confessed to him under a blooming tree. hope spreading through your bones as you gazed at him, heart pounding in your ears. face so hot it could melt ice. hands somehow clammy and sweaty at the same time? a true feat. you rehearsed the speech in your head the entire time, using the "hangout" idea as a cover and time to lock in.
a whole speech. the draft was three pages long. you were able to cut it to two.
and yet, all you could say was when you opened your dumb mouth:
"i like you." eyes forward. ears pink. fists clenched.
silence.
your heart began to sink.
you looked at him finally.
he wasn't looking at you, but away.
your heart fell to your toes.
you were wrong, weren't you…?
your mind was unnaturally silent. until it suddenly burst into panic. you said not a word. you got up. and ran away. to where? you didn't know. you just wanted to get away. you sprinted through the streets, crying filling your eyes before they spilled over. a choked cry. your skin went cold.
he didn't like you. didn't love you.
but you swore, the signs were there! shared gazes a bit too long. fingers brushing often. his voice would soften around you. he would protect you in games and always made sure you were included. hey, maybe you got too delusional and mistakened love rather than friendship. what an idiot you were!
and wow, what timing! you felt it in the air, when the back of your neck felt so damp and how there was no breeze. suddenly, it's pouring. what timing! make up running down your face in rivulets, outfit crinkled and clinging to you like a second skin. running towards wherever. you must've looked like a freak.
you finally stopped in a middle of what appears to be a park. the path softened under your footing and the soft rain. you heaved for breath, deciding to plop yourself down onto the wooden bench beside you. the lamposts glow faintly, in time with your heartbeat. you had let the rain carve paths down your face.
but the thing was…the rain was warm. it wasn't cold as usual. you blinked away the water (perhaps not only water) clustered onto your eyelashes and peered up at the sky. its rain drops traced your cheeks, almost in a comforting caress. you closed your eyes, breathing in the earthy wet smell and listening to the plip plop of rain hitting the ground.
focused on your senses rather than your emotions for the time being, you begun to feel yourself calm done. it wasn't the end of the world. yeah, maybe you just ruined something precious between you and the promoter. doesn't mean it can't be fixed! maybeit can be fixed by you quitting the company and--
a pair of shiny shoes spawned before you. you hadn't realized your head dropped, face towards the floor and eyes staring into the unknown. you dragged your eyes up slowly, up the white dress pants and black dress shirt and collar and…
"Seible?" you murmured, eyebrows drawn together.
he breathed heavily, eyes fixed on yours. "why did you run?"
you quickly avoided his gaze. "i put you in a difficult position. it wasn't fair to you. and i probably just…screwed what we had up because i got selfish." you watched a drop wind down your wrist.
"what?! no, you could never!" Seible exclaimed sharply, startling you. you gazed up at him with wide eyes. "i looked away because…"
a gloved hand climbed the air to his mouth as he attempted to silence his nervous giggles. a bright flush spread across his features, eye darting from yours a second out of shyness. he pushed his bangs away from obstructing his view of you in the rain.
"i was so happy to hear it in real life instead of in my dreams. because i really like you!"
he bent himself down, arms slithering around to embrace you. you could feel his skin through his soaked clothes, bringing heat to your face. no doubt he could feel yours. you hid your face in his shoulder, hardly believing what was happening. it took a minute before it clicked in.
"you like me?" voice so small. "back? this isn't a dream?"
"yes, i like you back." Seible pulled away a few inches, brushing your hair back from being plastered across your face. his soft puffs fanned your face. "no, this isn't a dream. and I'll show you." a wink.
all your anxiety and impending depression vanished due to those words alone. your body relaxed without you realizing it was so taut. you closed your eyes briefly, before they shot open at the sensation of someone cupping your cheeks. your lips parted a moment, breath stolen away from his unwavering gaze on yours. you could notice the purple specks in his irises, and how they sparkled like stars in the night sky. his lips were pink and nicely shaped, clearly taken care of well. his skin shone with the water, dribbling down his face, over his lips and down his neck to travel under his open collar. his tie is now uncharacteristically messy, and his collar bones are in sight. you swallowed, eyes fluttering.
"eyes up here, sweetheart," Seible whispered, canting his face towards you. you stayed still, eyes wide. he studied your features carefully. "may i kiss you?"
you opened your mouth to reply but whatever came out of it was a garbled mess. you opted to nod rapidly after a quick brain circuit fizzed out. your heart shook in your chest. it was finally happening, after all these years of pining and supporting and caring and admiring and--
soft against yours. light. giving you the opportunity to pull away. Seible's lips trembled a bit, perhaps from nervousness. your heart pitter pattered in your chest from his shyness, and you had to assure him you wanted this. you deepened the kiss, slotting your mouth against his perfectly. it was like two puzzle pieces that finally found each other after so much time. your arms found their home around his neck, bringing him down slightly to your level.
both separated, but not too far. one taste was enough to get you hooked forever. you batted your eyes at him under the now drizzle of rain, the warmth enveloping you two. Seible smiled so wide, you could see his puppy ears and tail pop up.
"can we do that again?" Seible asked, rubbing his nose against yours.
you giggled at the tickling sensation. "you don't even have to ask."
another shared kiss, under the warmth of the rain.
"i love you."
his eyes turned to crescents. "i love you too. ever since i met you."
you blushed, turning to the side. secretly, you thanked the rain.
You: you're ruining my tough guy personality.
Seibelle: who's my good kitty??
You: meeeeeee :3
Notes:
yes Seibles latest cover got me how could it NOOOOOOT ngh seible anyway yessss no public spaces has nth to do w liver and person behind it laderdadoo prolly lots of mistakes cuz im eepy
you knew your master was prone to ordering you to do things. cruel things. yes, she'll dress it up as you doing your job, protecting her from a potential threat. even though you, a skilled warrior tasked with guarding the head of the clan's daughter, assessed the person and concluded they would be harmless to her. you did it anyway. you'd think about what you have done after, murdering an innocent man who had no ill intent. the blood dripping from your sharp blade. splattered across your cheek. robes soiled. it almost made you feel guilty, made you feel a step closer to hell.
when you would come back from your mission, Mistress Seibelle would give you her highest praises. she'd dote on you (you refused it each time, but would reluctantly take it when she pouted at you) and spoil you, as if you weren't a servant, bound by her to do your bidding. but of course, you weren't just a normal bodyguard.
a hybrid. a cat hybrid, in fact. which is why Seibelle is so attached to you more than her human servants. you see, the mistress adores cats. loves them with her whole heart. she couldn't resist petting strays in the street, despite your warnings. your own tail would flick in displeasure as she gives these random cats attention. she'd notice and giggle, letting her flowy sleeve rise to pet your disgruntled self.
Seibelle likes to pet you. a "stress relief", she says. you knew better. but…
it feels so nice!
your mistress scratches behind your kitty ears currently, and the other hand scratches the bottom of your chin. her blue nails scrape pleasantly against your skin, coaxing out sweet purrs from you. your head rests in her lap, her kimono spread about her criss crossed legs. your own fingers curl around her ankle, gently clawing at the soft fabric of her socks.
she smiles, eyes shaped like crescents as her long brown hair spills over her shoulders to gaze down at you. her ocean blue kimono with silver accents fit her perfectly. it's your favorite one on her. she knows.
"my sweet kitty," Seibelle coos at you, continuing her actions. your purrs vibrate though her plush thighs. "such a good girl."
face burning at her praise, you turn your face deeper into her body, tail flicking and curling in on itself. but you can't stop nuzzling into her touches. you felt as if you were becoming more and more like a wet, goopy puddle and less obedient slayer. it's why you continue doing what she says. you know it's wrong but…
again. this treatment? it appeals to your cat instincts. and you hate that it does. a servant isn't supposed to snuggle against her mistress on the futon, hands clasped together and soft breaths on each other's faces. a servant was meant to serve food or act out on demands by the mistress, not used as a pillow! you still remember the time Seibelle told you to lay down on a futon, only for her to climb atop and bury her face into your chest. she definitely heard your heart thud rapidly throughout your ribcage.
this woman was just too teasing on top of that! she knew what she was doing, and you couldn't do a single thing about it! what would you tell her, "no"? not if you wanted to keep your head. and besides. you learned that you liked to listen to her instructions. because even after soaking blood into your hands, she cradles your face with her own equally as bloody ones. that possessive and dark glint in her eyes as she smirked at you had a shiver trail up your spine. out of fear, discomfort, or attraction, you weren't sure.
"maybe i should get you a collar," Seibelle thinks aloud, the fingers giving you scritches on your chin go to trace your collar bone. "have my name on it. show everyone you're mine."
"mm," you hum absent mindedly, blinking up at her slowly. "but everyone already knows that, Mistress."
she tsks and your ear twitches at the sound. "i don't like it when the men stare at you for too long. practically drooling. as if they could hypothetically, theoretically have a chance to keep you." she scoffs.
you stretch out across her lap for a moment, bones cracking and tail going rod straight. you settle back into her lap, arms wrapping around her slim waist. "you know i can kill them before they blink…"
Seibelle chuckles. you purr louder. "you're right. you can be extremely bloodthirsty and violent kitty cat, can't you?"
"it feels as if you're teasing me again, Mistress," you mumble into her clothes.
she leans down, breath tickling your ear. you shudder. "you like it, my adorable kitten."
a soft kiss against your temple has you melting than you could possibly ever do. Seibelle giggles at the ticklish feeling of vibrations shooting up her tummy and continues her caresses.
you'll be there awhile. after all, who's her good kitty?
