JEDI LAWYERS. Because, when you get down to it, legal interpretation is just hermeneutics, and Jedi were supposed to be warrior philosophers.
listen. imagine obi-wan kenobi but so much worse. Just imagine some Jedi motherfucker in extremely well-tailored robes, grabbing obi-wan by the beard and whispering, “I’m you, but stronger.”
“Mr. Skywalker, I think you’ll find the last time my client saw the plaintiff, he was just a torso and also on fire. Therefore, my client had reasonable belief he was indeed dead, and cannot be held liable for slander.”
you know who has lawyers?
palpatine has lawyers. so many. palpatine was probably a lawyer, now that I think about it. motherfucker was definitely a lawyer. palpatine was that asshole who sat in a dark room and went over all the ridiculous senate bylaws and corollaries of the budget and figured out that if he triggered clause 3(b)(1)(viii) section twelve, footnote 283 no one could fucking stop him because have you read clause 3(b)(1)(viii) section twelve, footnote 283, Senator Organa? Did you, Senator Amidala? NO, NO ONE’S READ IT BECAUSE ONLY POWER HUNGRY NUTJOBS WITHOUT A LIFE OUTSIDE OF THEIR EVIL PLANS ACTUALLY READS THE MINUTAE OF THE SENATE BYLAWS.
definitely a lawyer. god, what an asshole.
