Dec 7, 2016
everytime I wake up at 3am, Ive felt like "Fuck. Why am I not dead?"
seen from Türkiye
seen from Malaysia
seen from Russia
seen from United Kingdom
seen from France
seen from Germany
seen from Australia
seen from Argentina
seen from Greece
seen from Malaysia
seen from Ireland
seen from Yemen
seen from China
seen from United Arab Emirates
seen from Russia
seen from South Korea
seen from China
seen from China
seen from Malaysia
seen from Argentina
everytime I wake up at 3am, Ive felt like "Fuck. Why am I not dead?"
Me and my mum really doesn't talk much . Ive always hated her for that. shot-marriage , doesn't approach her daughter how she's been through the day , over cooking meals... I have enough of her failures. Puberty. I realized, sooner she'll get old.. and I started to hate her instead of enjoying her "little things". I love her , now I think she needs to stop talking about same topics... same lines but I dont want her to. If ever I made her to stop, I might loose connections with her. I still love my mother after all.
To Reeve
Hi, how are you?
This is probably the worst yet the best thing to do, just to say how much I have love you.
It’s been 4 years pero mahal parin kita, may mga bagay na sinayang at pinanghi-hinayangan ko pa. Pero salamat, kahit alam kong may pag-asa pa pero sadyang mali na.
Musta na baby mo? Kamusta kana kasama ang mahal mo?
Sana, sana naging clingy pa ako, pero tama lang. May mga bagay na ginagawa ko parin para sa ating dalawa. Ako na lang, h’wag na sya. Ako na lang bubuo nang unang pangako ko sa’yo. magiging Arkitekto ako para sa iyo. Wala akong pinagsisisihan sa mga desisyon ko, kahit minsan nahihirapan o kaya’y susuko na.
May mga araw na iniisip ko kung may saysay pa ang lahat. Kahit alam kong wala kana, kahit ang tayo ay wala na. Pero higit sa lahat, nanaig ang pag-ibig kong sayo ay tapat, buo, at hindi magkukulang.
Ilang beses ko nang magpadala nang sulat sayo, halata man pero takot akong walang beses na pumasok rin ako sa isip mo, takot akong malaman ang isasagot mo. Takot ako sa lahat ng posibilidad.
Kaya kong itapon lahat, kunin at ibigay ang lahat, hindi para sa iyo kundi para sa sarili ko. Mahal ko ang sarili ko kahit noong minamahal kita.
Sana maubus na ang lahat nang nararamdaman ko. Sana matapos na. Sana okay ka lang kasama sya. Dahil alam kong tama ang mga bagay na sa ngayon ay nangyayari pa.
I wish I could sleep more, without thinking of you first.
Blog : It makes me cry.. just remembering that I tried to suicide.
Blog : August 10, should be my follow-up check up at the hospital. I completely forgotten even though I intended to skip it. xD
Blog : Detective Conan Episode 219 so far is my favourite. :)
Probably those who burnt your mind are the ones who has the cold heart.