20190214
SUBJECT LINE: POST VALENTINES DAY PARTY
FROM: A FELLOW COWORKER
you have heard whispers traveling from one ear to another, from one friend to next. the work environment has been tense to say the least, people disappearing and coming back to undergo polygraph tests during the day, an uncanny amount of paperwork on people's desks, yawns hidden behind the back of a hand. as always, there are a group of people who want to let off some steam, have fun for the first time in what feels like months. after a little bit of thinking, they decide that what better way to do it than a PARTY?
the plan spreads across the agency, some chain e-mails from one close friend to another; whoever wants to attend a post valentine's day party, they are more than welcome to come to the ARCANA LOUNGE on 15th of FEBRUARY, at 20:00. it's a ten minute walk from the JONGNO HEADQUARTERS, a rooftop reserved to only nis employees for the night. it's not an agency sanctioned event, but something between coworkers instead, aiming for a time off together where they can have some fun and forget everything else for the night. besides drinking, there is also dart and shuffleboard games for whoever feels more competitive through the night. whatever happens at arcana, will stay at arcana — or so they say.
「 OOC EXPLANATION 」
this is a timed event. in character, the event will take place throughout the night of the 15th of FEBRUARY. out of character, interactions can start from the 15th, until the 24th of FEBRUARY. you are more than welcome to continue your threads after the end of the event, but try to post your starters until the 24th. once again, since it’s not an agency sanctioned event, it’s likely that your muse has heard about it from another coworker, or was included in a chain email with the information. it’s not mandatory to join, but we encourage you to do so! we will also be posting an ASK MEME revolving around the event soon after this post. we hope you enjoy it, and if you have any questions at all, let us know.
— you can use the tag NISAFTERWORK to post threads / meme replies / solos regarding this plot drop.
yongjin has grown progressively drunker as the night went on, and when he sobers up he will realize so has the texts he has been sending to his old friend. when he had received the first response of seojun deciding not to come, it had put a considerable damper in his mood, because he was genuinely looking forward to spending more time with him, especially since they didn't have much chance to catch up since his return. and going from previous experience, alcohol always eased the process, so he was looking forward to seeing seojun at the bar when he first arrived, wanting to see the younger, making sure he was having some fun, as all of them should have. and as the fact that he wasn't coming stood at the back of his mind, yongjin slowly retorted to texts, sending seojun a couple every once in a while as the night progressed and he got drunker and drunker.
there were multiple occasions during the night he texted the other, one where they were playing darts and he boasted that even though he was good, kwon seojun had set the record. it had been years since they all went together to a local bar, and thinking about it only made him more reminiscent of the past, which to a drunk yongjin, deserved a text message. the rest of the night was more chaotic, especially talking to jihae about the past few weeks had changed the mood considerably and perhaps opened the road to more, but when they had parted ways and it was much later in the night, seojun came to mind again when he really needed a ride home. for some reason a drunk yongjin couldn't fathom, he had even brought his car when he arrived, and with his mind revolving around his friend, he kinda really wanted to see seojun — and well, he trusted seojun to pick him up if he had the time.
only a little bit surprised to have received a positive answer, yongjin waits on the street of the bar, walking around in circles and grinning quite stupidly as the alcohol still has its effects. when his phone pings again, he takes it out and quickly begins to type, looking around and walking back to the main entrance where he has strayed away from for a few minutes. he is just about to send a message when he sees his friend standing next to the door, and yongjin quickly rushes forwards, a goofy smile on his face as he aves at him. "seojun! you came!" the agent exclaims, perhaps louder than he should have, but he is genuinely happy to see his friend. and once again, he can’t help but pull him in a short hug before pulling away. "i'm sorry to be a bother man, it's just — my car — and why didn't i think in advance i don't know —" he starts, words slightly slurring together but hopefully making some kind of sense. only when he is closer to the other that he squints, looking up and down for longer than necessary before he speaks, a grin on his features. "dude, are you drunk as well ?"
it’s only an hour into the party but jihae is already experiencing the sensation of the ounces of stress placed upon his shoulders (by himself, of course) melting away bit by bit. no surprise that it’s from the alcohol he’s consumed thus far, just enough to instill the most pleasant buzz in his mind. he’s taking it slow, purposely, for the sake of enjoying the night rather than diving headlong into drunken oblivion. he’ll do that later on so he can go home immediately after and fall into a dreamless sleep and awaken to the day off he desperately requires.
he’s in the middle of contemplating just what he could do tomorrow when the question reaches him, eyes drifting up lazily to hyemi, a slow grin gracing his lips. “it’s just fun, sweetheart.” he admits, eyebrows furrowing a second or two before he continues, “well, that and you’re easily flustered from things i say even when i’m not trying to tease you. ultimately though, it’s fun. you’re very cute when you blush.” he chuckles, taking a sip from his glass, the burn of the alcohol as it slips down his throat making him sigh. “but… if it makes you genuinely uncomfortable, just tell me and i’ll stop, i promise.”
the night is going well overall, jihae thinks, eyes staring down at the last little bit of liquor in his glass as he swirls it around. the party is doing it's job in keeping people entertained and their minds busy with interactions and games, thoughts far away from work-- at least mostly far away. he's sure the topic and it's associated questions are sure to follow, but for the most part everyone seems in a much lighter mood. he, himself, feels lighter and more like he's able to breathe a bit easier. this could be due to actually getting somewhat decent sleep again but he's not about to get ahead of himself.
thoughts of his ongoing battle with sleep and stress eventually leads him to thinking about the passing out incident which then leads him to... yongjin. his eyes find the other man, the action immediate because he's long since accepted the truth that there won't ever be a time he can't immediately pick him out of the crowd. it doesn't help that's the hacker has been aware of his presence the whole of the night no matter what. yongjin is sitting off to himself currently, nursing a glass, cheeks and nose rosy and eyes half-lidded with rising drunkenness. he's still every bit as beautiful as any other time, ethereal in a way that almost doesn't seem possible, and jihae remembers a time when acknowledging this would make his heart throb in his ribcage.
(it still does.)
jihae is taken back to not too long ago then, remembering waking up to yongjin sitting at his bedside in the agency's medbay, the worry and concern and pain on his features making jihae hurt too-- making him hate himself for ever causing it as if he hasn't caused him enough already. some part of him, regardless, had been happy to see the other agent, and because he's a weak man for a number of reasons, one of the top being yongjin himself regardless of their awkwardness and tiptoeing around one another in the months following their breakup, he'd ultimately agreed to the agent staying over the night following his release from the medbay. and he doesn't regret it. he can't find it in himself to do so no matter what, the same part of him clinging to the shred of normalcy that had been yongjin staying over, nyx in tow and purring the moment she's seen him, armed with food and the gentle, albeit cautious, concern for his wellbeing.
(he doesn't regret allowing himself that moment of breaking down, them sharing tears, and an embrace so warm he hadn't realized just how icy he'd felt down in his soul until that exact moment.)
drinking probably isn't a good idea at a party like this where he's around yongjin. he gets too pensive, thinking about things and getting more emotional over them than he should. but it's happened and he can't exactly take it back now, not when his mind is pleasantly fuzzy and buzzy and he can finally squirm past his own defenses. he readily does it, of course, and pushes himself to his feet, managing to stay somewhat steady as he makes his way past his other co-workers over to yongjin, pausing a few inches from the table. "penny for your thoughts?" he asks, lamely, but he stays his ground, head cocked to the side as he looks at him.
“You mean the first time? Like, to my family?” She clarifies, recalling a few different events in her mind. “I mean, the very first person I came out to was my boyfriend at the time— because… that was important. But then I just… came out to my dad and my sister over the phone, since I didn’t really have the money to go see them in person any time soon, and I didn’t want to keep secrets from them like that. So… yeah, that’s it. No dramatic story or anything.” It suddenly occurred to her to wonder why the psychologist was asking her about it— not that she didn’t get asked often. In fact, she got asked this exact question more than one would think. Mostly from straight friends and colleagues who couldn’t find anything in common to start a conversation, so they resulted to asking about her life story. “Why? Just curious, or…?”
The filter Minjae usually has over everything he says is suddenly gone now that he’s had a few more drink than he should, always with the support and encouragement of his friends --- even though he promised himself he wasn’t going to drink too much. He failed, at this point in the night he already feels lighter, his mind is affected by the alcohol already and so does everything he says as well. And that’s the main motivation behind his strange behavior ( very strange compared to how he acts into the buildings of NIS ) and his indelicate question towards Haewon. Part of him is curious about her own experience with the whole coming out situation, and another... He also wants to be prepared.
He listens to her with attention, the glass of whatever drink Hajoon had chosen for him in his hands and he looks at the female with a small smile on his lips, nodding once she’s done talking. But her response isn’t exactly enough for him: he wants to know more, he wants to know what the reactions were, he wants to know how everything was after she did it --- and no, he doesn’t wanna know just because he’s NIS’ psychologist, but because he is discovering himself. He’s trying to figure out the best way to deal with his feelings, once he found out he’s part of the community as well.
“I... I’ll be honest with you, Haewon. I might or might not have feelings for another man, but I have no idea how to approach my parents about it.”
DRINK UP, BABY, STAY UP ALL NIGHT
Thursday, February 14th, 11:57AM --- Valentine’s Day.
As if he didn’t feel miserable enough, Seojun is also surprised by an email on his inbox: an invitation to a party that’s not being planned by the organization, but the employees instead. He’s confused when he reads it, not sure if they are allowed to do something like that, but he’s sure their superiors would have already done something if it was against the rules.
He frowns as he reads the content of the email, his chest feels tight and his breath is interrupted for a brief moment. He feels uneasy, uncomfortable at the idea of a party to celebrate Valentine’s Day. He doesn’t celebrate it anymore, he doesn’t have a reason to celebrate it --- and when he thought things could finally change, when he could finally start all over again with someone, the person wasn’t a part of NIS anymore.
So definitely, he can’t find a reason to attend the party.
It’d be a waste of time.
FORGET ALL ABOUT THE PRESSURE OF DAYS
Thursday, February 14th, 05:23PM.
The hours pass slowly and he can hear people whispering about the party, he can hear little rumors about how much alcohol there’s gonna be in the event and also about who’s gonna go with who. He pretends he doesn’t know anything, minding his own business and taking care of his own job. But he can’t help the bitter taste in his mouth --- you could call it jealousy.
As much as he’d deny it, he wishes he could go. But it wouldn’t make sense, he’s sure he’d feel the guilt creeping inside of him the moment he stepped into the location where the event is going to happen. He doesn’t feel close enough to people to go for his friends, either. So his best option is to deprive himself of it.
And he doesn’t change his mind, not even when people try to convince him to go.
“Come on, Seojun! It’s gonna be fun.” They say, and Seojun’s response consists of a small smile as he shakes his head no.
SEPARATE FROM THE REST, WHERE I LIKE YOU THE BEST
Friday, February 15th, 06:32PM. --- The day of the party.
The hours pass slowly again, and they seem to pass even slower when you feel like you don’t belong there. He focuses on his work, with a yawn here and there, as his colleagues talk and plan what they’re gonna wear at the party. Seojun feels like a fish out of water. He doesn’t interfere, he listens and ignores everything, counting the hours until he can finally leave the HQ and enjoy his night in his dorm --- all alone. Only him and Leon, the gecko.
Eventually, he grabs his things ( his jacket, his beanie, and his backpack ) and walks out of the room. He doesn’t look back, and just waves at the people that say a ‘see you later’ to him in the corridors.
He walks to the front door with his head down, hands stuffed into his jacket pockets as the freezing wind embraces him once he’s out of the building. He doesn’t flinch, even though his shoulders tension due to the sudden cold air against his cheeks.
Seojun looks at a group of people standing in front of the HQ and recognizes them as other agents, probably waiting to walk to the location of the party together. They’re laughing and speaking loud, and he can hear them even after distancing himself from the building. He feels jealousy again.
Why can’t he have fun like them too?
AND KEEP THE THINGS YOU FORGOT
Friday, February 15th, 09:04PM --- The night of the party.
He’s laying on his bed, an empty bottle of soju rests on his nightstand as he stares at the ceiling. Leon rests on his chest, and he pets the little reptile with his fingertips, careful not to hurt or scare him. He feels comfortable, almost happy --- if it wasn’t for all the thought going through his mind.
The same old questions, which answers are obvious and yet he can’t figure them out.
