Nice Jewish Character Showdown -- Round Two Analysis
We're so back. Happy Jewish-American Heritage Month!
Here are the characters that got eliminated in Round Two -- and since it's been a minute, I'm linking the polls to the contestant names.
James Wilson
Status: Canon Jew
Mazel tov to Wilson for making it to round two, a definite improvement from last year. In the past year I’ve actually started watching ‘House’ cause of y’all, so I think this counts as a win. And his initials literally being J.E.W. is fucking iconic.
Libby Stein-Torres
Status: Canon Jew
I’m so glad that the legacy of iconic Disney Channel Jewish Rep continues into the modern era. What a bop.
Fox Mulder
Status: Pretty Much Canon Jew
“Scully, you’re gonna wanna see this.”
Sidney Prescott
Status: Transitive Jew
There’s something so inherently Jewish already about the final girl narrative, especially when it’s one portrayed by a Jewish actor. Especially in the ‘Scream’ franchise, where so much of the narrative revolves around not knowing who you can trust, who’s your friend and who’s your enemy. Might be a bit melodramatic, eh. At least the transitive property can apply here, thank you Neve for this absolutely iconic line — “I am a practicing Catholic, but my lineage is Jewish, so if someone asks me if I'm Jewish, I say yes”
Bugs Bunny
Status: Transitive Jew
Remember how Bugs once literally saved Mel Blanc’s life when he was in a coma? What a wonderful relationship between creation and creator. We could technically expand the Transitive Property out to the rest of Blanc’s character catalogue, but there’s something so right about identifying Bugs Bunny as the representative for the Mel Blanc set.
Percy Jackson
Status: Interpretive Jew
This one’s a bit of a brainchild, so stick with me. Is it transitive from the (underappreciated) performance of the ICONIC Logan Lerman? Yes. Is it because of all the world-saving trauma he went through at such a young age? Yes. Is it because of the iconic motif of water in Judaism? YES. Is it the way Percy always gets blamed for trouble, even stuff he had nothing to do with? Yes. But most importantly, the chutzpah. The way he, and his friends, talk back to the Greek Pantheon. The way they question authority, and the way he in particular paves his way against the fate chosen for him. Constantly fighting for a better world, even if it’s gonna put him in more danger by pissing off some powerful people.
I could talk about this for hours, so pull up a chair and start listening to the Lightning Thief musical, there WILL be an essay portion to this quiz.
Seymour Krelborn
Status: Canon Jew
Have you EVER seen a more nebbish horror musical male lead than Seymour?
Sharpay Evans
Status: Transitive Jew
Once you find out Ashley Tisdale’s Jewish, the Jewish American Princess vibes radiating off of Sharpay Evans become impossible to ignore. You just KNOW she grew up in the same Hebrew School class as Troy (another Transitive Property Jew thanks to the ICONIC Zac Efron!)
