had this in my drafts for a while! since the beginning of june actually~ i'm so glad to finally post it AHHH im super proud of this work because they're actually being made into keychains‼️i'll post the keychains when i get them but here's the digital versions of them now 🙇
i've been watching a bunch of 'by the beat' the past two months - and when i got the opportunity i wanted to make some cute merch AAAA i really love the concept i thought up for these 🍓🍰 hoping i can make more merch in the future~
No, seriously, I really hate you more than anything!
That’s right, I’ll hate you forever and ever!
Then both of us get caught,
and five seconds after we’ve said “let’s make up,”
we’ve burst into flames again.
you (an indie streamer), the xsoleil boys and nina met up for an off-collab cooking stream and the boys are pretending to not know how to cook so you can help them out !
ft. doppio dropscythe, hex haywire, ver vermillion x afab!reader (nina is there too)
99% sugar - added crack too ! this will generally be a fluffy and funny post. that 1% is for ver’s part btw.
warning - just ,, funny
a/n - thank you @lonelysimpfor2dmen for the dm request ! i had fun writing this , especially on ver’s part. i hope you enjoy it <3
i am writing for the vtuber’s persona and model, not for the real person behind the screen.
it was all quite random timing for the guys in xsoleil and nina to have an off-collab with you , but you did agree that it was one of the funniest experiences to ever occur in your life.
the stream was taken place in your apartment, and you started streaming as if it was a regular cooking stream — all on your own.
plenty of people started tuning in to your stream as you were explaining what you’d be cooking and that you were waiting for a delivery to arrive.
your chat was flooded with suspicion that you weren’t actually going to cook, and instead having food be delivered to your door, but little did they know they were absolutely incorrect.
the doorbell started ringing and it was audible for chat as well.
“oh, that must be the delivery. i’ll be right back, chat !” and you ran off to the door. the chat kept filling the chat box with joking remarks, and some were speculating a special guest.
It must be a burger..
SPECIAL GUEST IKZZZZ
👀👀👀👀👀👀
chat heard footsteps walking back to the stream setup however they didn’t hear the usual sweet voice from you. it was many voices, from something that would come out of a chaotic streamer. a voice then came up rather close, dangerously close to the mic and started babbling random words.
“hey guys, i hope you like.. don’t mind us joining the stream,” the voice mumbled in a calm, smooth tone. the chat started connecting the dots and realised that the voice was actually ver. so if ver was there, that must’ve meant that doppio and hex would’ve been there too.
XSOLEIL ??
TSKRR VER
VER OMGGG ‼️
a mature, feminine voice joined in the conversation. it was indeed fox mum, nina. chat became nothing but chaos as you and the others proceeded to explain what was going to happen during the stream.
DOPPIO DROPSCYTHE ;
doppio .. doesn’t actually know how to cook
so obviously he’s going to need help from you
and god , he was a mess
babbling heaps …
if you got mad at him he’d pout at you and give you puppy eyes
nina thinks it’s adorable of piopio to act like this
she senses things too
but of course , she won’t say that on stream
“…[name], how do you do this part of the recipe ..?”
you turn from the stovetop to face doppio who is pointing at the directions on the sheet of paper. your eyebrows furrow.
“don’t you think it’s quite self-explanatory, doppi ?” you asked, concerned for his lack of cooking skills.
hex walked up to doppio and snatched the piece of paper, reading the instruction carefully. “you don’t know how to seperate the egg yolk from the white ..?”
doppio’s face turned into a shade of tomato red as he slowly averts his gaze from hex. you start to pity him, so you ask nina to look after the stovetop as you go to assist him.
“alright, doppio, watch this. you see the egg ? crack it into the bowl.” you said, switching gazes from the egg to doppio. he looked quite hesitant at first, but after lightly smashing the egg a few times on the counter, he was able to successfully crack it into the bowl. an accomplished smile plastered on doppio’s face.
“yay, you did it, doppi !” you pat his shoulder a few times. chat had also been sending in praises and clapping emojis.
doppio looks at the next set of instructions and gulps. seperate the egg yolk.
you stare at him concerned, but you knew deep inside that he had some sort of potential.
“how do you seperate the egg yolk ?” doppio mumbled.
never mind then.
“alright, you see that egg yolk ? scoop it up, and you use your other hand and do it like this.” you follow the directions you just explained to doppio and the egg white slowly slipped in between your fingers. you placed the yolk in to the appropriate bowl and turn to doppio.
“ta daa ~” you said sarcastically.
“w— hey, not everyone is good at cooking !”
HEX HAYWIRE ;
okay.
we all know this man has super malewife skills
like bro , he can cook , clean
give this guy a maid dress too and he can do all those things in style !
tell him to like bake you a 3-tier cake and he probably would in a time span of like 2 hours (that is short for making a good quality cake)
but … his malewife skills disappeared.
they’re gone
for now at least but they’re gone !!!
everything was going so smoothly for the past 5 minutes of preparing and cooking, where did everything go downwards ? you knew yourself that he is a good cook, the perfect malewife even ! why was he asking how to do things now ?!
“hey, [name], what does this part of the instructions mean ?” hex asked, looking a bit too worried. you glared at him, eyes full of irritation. they dart to the instructions and you were in disbelief.
“you’re joking, aren’t you.”
“no, seriously ! i actually don’t know how to sauté onions !”
ver and nina slowly turned to hex in shock, and so did chat … virtually. you let out a big sigh and reluctantly head over to the stove.
“grab the butter, please.”
“what is butter ?”
everyone pauses. you felt like your eyes were going to pop out of their sockets.
nina chimes in, “hexy honey, where are your super malewife powers ?”
it wasn’t that audible, but ver was trying to keep in his laugh — he probably knew what was up.
“just get the damn butter, hex.” you said. hex awkwardly walked over to the fridge where the butter was and came back with a block of salted butter.
the rest of the stream was chaos.
VER VERMILLION ;
ver id say is also quite a decent cook
but then again , he wants to see if you can cook too !
he is so sneaky and cheeky about it too
do the right things for him , and he will give you headpats
if agency vtubers were allowed to show their faces , the chat would be spamming ‘tskr’ HEAPS
“[name], you shall receive headpats for helping me so nicely.”
you don’t care about the headpats , you just want ver to do things for himself ,,
“[naa~me] ! can you dice the onions for me ? i need to microwave this.” ver said in a rather polite voice. a hint of mischief could be heard from his tone, which caught on your suspicion.
“alright …” you reply. ver’s eyes glistened like those of a child as he sprinted towards you. catching you off guard, he started to ruffle your hair.
your cheeks turn into a pink-ish red hue as ver proceeded to pat your head. why is he doing this, you thought to yourself.
ver walked over to the microwave and added what ever ingredient he had to microwave.
still startled from the sudden contact, you start to cut the onions — and you started to understand why he gave the job to you.
“GOD, MY EYES STING !” hex started yelling from across the kitchen, and soon enough, everyone could feel the chemicals slowly waft in to their poor eyes. wretched screams filled the room as the nijisanji en members started tasting the bitter rawness of the onions.
but you ? you were in the most pain cutting those onions. man, you wished you declined the request but here you were, tearing up hysterically chop after chop, sending the chemicals straight into your eyeballs.
despite the tears rolling down his eyes, ver let out a soft giggle. he could see the frustration on your face and it satisfied him quite a lot.
“VER ! PLEASE CUT THESE ONIONS I’VE HAD ENOUGH !” you cried (literally), blubbering and begging for mercy — everyone was begging for mercy. but of course, ver wanted to relish the moment as you and the others slowly suffered from onions.
“VEEEER !” you cried even louder, almost a screech.
“no ! chat is enjoying this moment !” and yes, they were. half of them were laughing their asses off, balling their eyes out even ; and the second half, well, they were rather confused in the moment, but they did enjoy it.
