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rosegarden 🥀

#nmtxt #went to the art museum with some friends yesterday :3c #artwork is soundsuit by nick cave #the embroidery…….🥺#there was also a caravaggio exhibit and i fell in love with a portrait of a young man that looked like me :-)

if anyone wants some good news: the fledglings of the wrens who nested in our birdhouse have started leaving the nest this morning AND we spotted our first monarch butterfly of the year on the butterfly weed

#nmtxt #nods…………….life 🧋 🙂‍↕️

it’s real whomp whomp hours i guess but man i really need to get out more. like, for many different reasons but i just…don’t really have community here? i meet people and make friends but it’s all very isolated in my area. i wanna go out and be disgustingly and disastrously queer and fuckin weird and dance all night and fuck whoever i want!!! i want to go somewhere without an idea in mind and i want to have fun and i desperately want to feel something. i wanna live and not just survive, y’know?

#nmtxt #the isolation that comes with lack of self transport #and the fact that i STILL don’t know how to drive because my mom would rather waste away than do anything for me :-)#and between the abuse and hiding my identity and extreme financial instability i just cannot make meaningful relationships #i turn 28 next month and just keep feeling my life slipping away #i’m coming up on my 2 year t anniversary to and have never been able to fully live as be respected a man #i needed to be out last year and i hope i am by next year #it all just…fucking sucks

i wish i could be more active in the servers i’m in but there is just…so much all the time? i cannot handle 20+ channels and even if i just stick to just 2 or 3 i’m still too slow. like, wombo combo autism + meds affecting cognitive function & reaction time = not being able to think of what to say and type it fast enough. which sucks cuz most folks on servers type really fast and A LOT. it’s just hard to interact when i can’t keep up :-|

#nmtxt #im sure folks would still like to chat and be understanding but #it can get overwhelming fast and then i have to step away

i haven’t posted art in a year so i am going to reblog other peoples art for you to enjoy instead :-)

#nmtxt #i’ve started getting back into the groove of things again but #don’t think i’ll be posting frequently any time soon :(

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