i’ve been feeling a little disconnected lately. It’s been months now that my routine really focuses on just doing things by myself and not really needing/wanting to do the same things with other people. I think it really began after the trip in April because I think I really felt like there was a noticeable difference in what my friendship would be in the group versus what the other two have. don’t get me wrong, I am very happy that they have found basically their twin flame/soulmate sort of friendship with each other but I think it makes it hard when a third person is around.
what was the straw that made me realise that yeah, I am the spare friend (and that’s okay!) Is when plans will be made right in front of me and I wasn’t included + convos that I wasn’t involved in being brought up while I was there.
I would never wish for them to change their dynamics and to be any different than what they are, but it sucks that it results in me feeling this way especially since it’s not something I can say out loud without sounding like a complete an utter asshole because there’s absolutely nothing wrong with their friendship with one another. it’s just how the cookie crumbles 🤷🏼♀️
so then as always, I continue with this routine and eventually this will not bother me anymore.
