#no this is queue

[why-bless-your-heart]

“there’s some kind of magic feeling about cities at night“ what the heck kinda cities are you used to because the only “magic feeling” I’ve ever had in cities at night are “Whoop better cross the street right now because that is absolutely a drug deal” and “hahaha I r e a l l y hope I’m smelling roadkill at the moment and not a human body decomposing” and “I wonder what could warrant (heh) so many police and yup those are gunshots I guess I’ll read about it in the paper tomorrow” and “please let there be one more bus please let there be one more bus and please let there be one more bus.”

[why-bless-your-heart]

Friendly reminder @everyone that G.K. Chesterton’s novels are all in the public domain so instead of adapting/illustrating/rewriting “The Wizard of Oz” or “Alice in Wonderland” for the thirty-billionth time we can start playing with The Man Who Was Thursday, The Ball and the Cross, Manalive, The Poet and the Lunatics, and everything else whenever.

[why-bless-your-heart]

Shout out @17-yo me for blanking on the name of “The Who” and calling them “The Doctors.”

[why-bless-your-heart]

i got acquainted with a parrot named pete recently who is an interesting bird pete says he used to belong to the fellow that ran the mermaid tavern in london then i said you must have known shakespeare know him said pete poor mutt i knew him well he called me pete and i called him bill but why do you say poor mutt well said pete bill was a disappointed man and was always boring his friends about what he might have been and done if he only had a fair break two or three pints of sack and sherris and the tears would trickle down into his beard and his beard would get soppy and wilt his collar i remember one night when bill and ben jonson and frankie beaumont were sopping it up

here i am ben says bill nothing but a lousy playwright and with anything like luck in the breaks i might have been a fairly decent sonnet writer i might have been a poet if i had kept away from the theatre yes says ben i ve often thought of that bill but one consolation is you are making pretty good money out of the theatre

money money says bill what the hell is money what i want is to be a poet not a business man these damned cheap shows i turn out to keep the theatre running break my heart slap stick comedies and blood and thunder tragedies and melodramas say i wonder if that boy heard you order another bottle frankie the only compensation is that i get a chance now and then to stick in a little poetry when nobody is looking but hells bells that isn t what i want to do i want to write sonnets and songs and spenserian stanzas and i might have done it too if i hadn t got into this frightful show game business business business grind grind grind what a life for a man that might have been a poet

well says frankie beaumont why don t you cut it bill i can t says bill i need the money i ve got a family to support down in the country well says frankie anyhow you write pretty good plays bill any mutt can write plays for this london public says bill if he puts enough murder in them what they want is kings talking like kings never had sense enough to talk and stabbings and stranglings and fat men making love and clowns basting each other with clubs and cheap puns and off color allusions to all the smut of the day oh i know what the low brows want and i give it to them

well says ben jonson don t blubber into the drink brace up like a man and quit the rotten business i can t i can t says bill i ve been at it too long i ve got to the place now where i can t write anything else but this cheap stuff i m ashamed to look an honest young sonneteer in the face i live a hell of a life i do the manager hands me some mouldy old manuscript and says bill here s a plot for you this is the third of the month by the tenth i want a good script out of this that we can start rehearsals on not too big a cast and not too much of your damned poetry either you know your old familiar line of hokum they eat up that falstaff stuff of yours ring him in again and give them a good ghost or two and remember we gotta have something dick burbage can get his teeth into and be sure and stick in a speech somewhere the queen will take for a personal compliment and if you get in a line or two somewhere about the honest english yeoman it s always good stuff and it s a pretty good stunt bill to have the heavy villain a moor or a dago or a jew or something like that and say i want another comic welshman in this but i don t need to tell you bill you know this game just some of your ordinary hokum and maybe you could kill a little kid or two a prince or something they like a little pathos along with the dirt now you better see burbage tonight and see what he wants in that part oh says bill to think i am debasing my talents with junk like that oh god what i wanted was to be a poet and write sonnet serials like a gentleman should well says i pete bill s plays are highly esteemed to this day is that so says pete poor mutt little he would care what poor bill wanted was to be a poet

archy

[why-bless-your-heart]

Pros of being in the @allieinarden long-text-post fandom:

Thoughtful and intelligent analysis

If there is a parallel to be drawn between a 20th-century author and a contemporary cartoon show, she will draw it

Speaking of drawing, her expressive, minimalistic scribblecomics that illustrate amusing, touching, and/or clever headcanons

Great story and character sense

Very low drama

Defends C.S. Lewis better than you ever could

“Bait for Bees” indeed, her literarily articulate musings are sweet nectar on this often arid website

Unfailingly courteous and friendly, even to those she disagrees with

Has probably read more than you have and it’s great

Knows Shakespeare better than most

Has this trick of making everyone feel smart and appreciated whenever she engages regarding a fan theory or headcanon, even when she's disproving it

Is just a very skilled and entertaining writer and storyteller/analyst

“I am not the grammar police. I used to be when I was a preteen, but then I saw poetry making a break for the border and turned in my badge.”

Cons of being in the @allieinarden long-text-post fandom:

She will make you cry at some point.

[why-bless-your-heart]

Yeah, if you keep on telling people who disagree with you that they’re evil racist monsters because they disagree with you they’re just going to get angry and walk away and not want to listen to anything you have to say. That’s how people work.

[why-bless-your-heart]