Harmony ~ Silence ~ No-thingness
Harmony ~ I'm slowly sinking into harmony again. I've felt out of sync for the last few days. Stressed, sore, disconnected. Work is busy. Life is busy. My yoga practice is busy because of teacher training. This was my first weekend off in a month. I've spent the last 2 days doing nothing. Just for me. No expectations. Nothing to do for anyone else. I'm slowly sinking into myself again. Feeling. Breathing.
I'm loving my teacher training, but realizing I need to practice just for me still as well. Asana practice is one of the most important ways in which I take care of myself. Meditation as well. Now I have meditation homework for teacher training and I'm finding myself resisting. So I decided to take the weekend off from daily meditation, to do exactly what I want for my Self. Not too surprising...I find myself wanting to sit in silence. For me. Because I want it.
To find harmony I need to keep in mind my intentions. What I want. Why I practice and what it affords me. Teacher training homework isn't what's relevant here. I already practice more than I'm being asked to. So can I remember to practice for me...it's not homework. It's for me. My practice is what brings me harmony. Nobody else can dictate that for me or find it for me. It's mine to keep. I just need to keep listening to my heart, breathing and taking time for the Self.
Silence ~ Nothing about the last week was silent. Things have been abnormally hectic and I've felt frazzled. This isn't like me. I usually watch at work as everyone else runs around. I've been told that calmness typically "oozes" out of my office. Sometimes I think this silence isn't understood. This week however, I got sucked into the drama. My body is suffering the consequences. I can feel it in every cell of my body. It was time to reclaim my inner silence and start listening again.
This weekend, however has been about nothing but silence. Sitting with my Self. Practicing for me and only me. I've tapped back into Self, my core, my inner silence. I'm always amazed at the wisdom that lies there. The insights. The peace. The harmony. This weekend I remembered the importance of taking care of my Self. I can't always be taking care of others. I need to limit myself better at work. I can't take care of everyone. I now realize I need to take more time for me. Silence. Stillness.
No-Thingness ~ I love this card. While it may be black with nothing on it, I think it's one of the most hopeful cards in the deck. Osho is asking me to stop defining my Self by my past and see the pure potential of who I am. Blackness and darkness may be disorienting, but it's something we can easily relax into if we choose to do so. Pure space. Pure potential. This is where we came from. This is where we're going. Life is lived through the transitions. Darkness is the only constant. For it can never disappear. It's always there. This is a nothing that is also everything. It pairs so beautifully with silence. No words, no light, no expectations, nothing to do, nowhere to go. Just me. Now. Exactly who I am.
Past lessons learned still count, but they don't define me. I am so much more and only in the stillness and the dark silence can I access this essence. She feels powerful, soft and sure of her Self. Complete and whole. Energy pulsing through her core freely. Tingling. Free. A smile parts her lips. Part of her escapes with the exhale. But it doesn't go far. This feels peaceful but exciting. Boundaries become fuzzy. The Self blending with the Universal energy pool. I am so much more than my body, my mind or my emotions. I know this to be true when I let go into silence, into darkness, into the depths of my Self.
