For someone most likely described as broken, dependent, incapable and other not so nice adjectives, I have been capable of getting past rehabs, sober living, rape, a mini stroke, a neightmare of an ever reoccurring ex, no parents or much family support and withdrawals whilst getting to Greece. I have since gotten the highest test scores out of everyone in my class, worked and volunteered as a teacher, received a job offer and discover some of the most beautiful beaches in the world while enjoying yachts, a Greek love affair and some crazy good food and culture on a daily basis. I am proud to have cut ties with a toxic city and way of life. I am proud to have lost some of my self deprication and instead sought out strength and love for myself and others. I have come to peace that whether it was schadenfreude, or most likely love and concern with just as great of a misunderstanding of myself that I have for my own psychology and actions. I am trying to understand the reasoning behind why I hurt myself. I finally am regaining some understanding, dignity and am gaining back who I once was before my parents, men, my bank account, my anxiety and depression, my addiction, my self esteem and self worth or hope for a decent future took it.
