Release from the Burden of Self.
Roles are expected to be performed and performed well. But what would happen if you began practicing stepping away from that role? What if you stepped out of the mold society, family, or peers pushed you into? To achieve this, I've slowly integrated a practice referred to as non-attachment. This practice can be applied to many areas of life like relationships or outcome and has helped me break free of the molds. In short terms, non-attachment is the releasing of our grip on defining every aspect of our lives. The more you try to define it, the more you confine it. This practice has strengthened my belief that I am a soul navigating the physical realm using the tools given to me: the body and the brain. I am bits and pieces of many things forming a mosaic of ME, all unique and separate but still intertwined.
During an exploration of divine interconnectedness, I came across a show called “Initiation with Matias De Stefano.” He was teaching about the different dimensions. He reaffirmed the idea that I am a multifaceted being trying to navigate the unknown. In one episode the host, Matias, had gone into a discussion on the purpose of life. During a channeled meditation Matias did, he asked his guides “what is the purpose of life?” The response Matias received was, “To learn things by doing things.” This simple statement had such an impact on my perspective of releasing attachment to self and outcome. This idea I resonate with, that life is valued and honored for simply being, felt so validated and understood by another human being. When another person comes to an idea or conclusion similar to yours when you two have no correlation, it feels like alignment. Like a divine wink at that theory you have. He would follow this with talking about ego and our need to identify and label everything. How releasing our attachment to the roles we perform can create a lot of freedom and self-compassion.
Non-attachment to identity allows one to not get caught up in what one “should” or “shouldn’t” be doing. There are no expectations put on someone to behave or show up a certain way. There’s a weight that comes with committing to the role given to you; people expect you to always perform it. If you break character, it’s likely you will be judged and questioned. Seldom questioned with care or curiosity, but always a bit of shame or guilt. When you release that hold on being a good person or being a hard worker, you also release those expectations to fulfill that role. You become just you doing your best to experience life.
When you aren’t attached to your role you are able to explore multitudes of hobbies and trades. A belief that has combined with non-attachment is “do the thing to do the thing.” The results don’t matter, you don’t need to make a career out of every craft you try. Buy the canvas and paints and just barf out a painting. Go run or hike that trail you drive by and ponder daily. Obviously, be smart and paint where you won’t stain carpet, make sure you bring your phone and water bottle before hitting the trail, safety is important. Sometimes what holds people back is attachment to their role or to the outcome of an endeavor. Our fear will keep us in a box just so we aren’t persecuted for trying something that seems odd.
As with all things, there is a line that can be crossed leading to overconsumption or radicalness. Within this journey I have struggled with opening my heart to possibilities out of fear of becoming “too” attached. This creates a feeling of unfulfillment and a disconnect from the heart center. I will neglect or avoid what I truly want to prevent disappointment. Cultivating self-awareness and balance to navigate these waters of non-attachment has made sailing much easier. One must be prepared for the fluidity in this practice for it can stir an uneasiness within, leaving one who needs grounding unstable. Self-reflection and awareness are integral to mapping your course with non-attachment. I’m learning there is a need to maintain some sense of self so I can function in society, but I am not a personality trait or work experience. On the hard days when I feel alone and like a drifter, it is self-reflection that creates an opportunity for non-attachment. I remind myself, “this moment isn’t forever and it isn’t who I am, I will find connection and community again soon.”
This perspective has affected me in many ways, but the most impactful way is the freedom I’ve found from just letting go. Letting go of being the oldest sibling (surrogate mother) or a naturopathic doctor has allowed me to explore other realms like energy healing and metalcraft. The release of the burden of expectations and obligations creates a sense of relief that no amount of achievement in my lifetime would give me. This perspective has also changed my view on success. Success isn’t a job title or multitudes of expensive objects, success is freedom and peace of mind. Success is being able to remain compassionate when the world feels against you, success is being able to give with no expectations on receiving back. Success to me has become emotional maturity, not an accumulation of titles, awards or toys.
As time goes on, I drift further and further from the confines of society's labels. I’m sure there’s many things I could be labeled as, I struggle to pick any. I resonate most with being a channel or vessel; but that is not an identity, simply an experience. Humans have so much more to them than their job or daily role. Most of us haven’t even been given a chance to try something we might like because our roles are so forced on us. People have been indoctrinated into this toxic belief that work is necessary for survival, but creativity is just as necessary. I’ll be able to tell you who I am, probably in the last journal/book I write of my life. But at this time, I AM. And that is enough for me.
- Luna Anahata