I'm a pansexual with an angry case of skin hunger, but few friends and people in my life willing to hug/touch in some way. I understand why, everyone has their own individual feelings towards that, but it feels like no one wants hugs or smoochies or cuddles. Not one person. And sometimes, it makes me feel inferior or stupid, because everyone asks why. Whats your end game, is it sex? And it isn't. But it makes me wonder if its some kind of weird, lustful, wrong feeling.
Sorry to hear you’re so down here and now about it–
I imagine the reason your friends say that is because they, themselves, don’t quite understand it. Whether they’re plain joe average or even touch averse - sometimes it’s hard to understand other people’s motives. Life’s all about common ground and what it takes to meet people there. There’s always a bit of give and take. You’ll need patience and understanding to give them patience and understanding about your own problems - try as we might to know one another, nobody’s perfect!
Regardless, I bet your friends love you - distant as they might be. All it takes is a bit of reaching out and communication. “Can I hug you? I’m feeling down.” “Can we cuddle? I need some good vibes and I feel sad.” Remember that when they reciprocate what you’re looking for, you need to be able to do the same. Sometimes you can’t always hug; sometimes you can’t always smooch. But all it takes is a little talking and a little work - the grounds of any good relationship.
Believe me, I’m pretty sure they’d be happy to hear you out. And if they’re not - if they refuse to offer a share of effort and exchange in the relationship - then that doesn’t make them very good friends. If so, I’d recommend broaching the problem with them. If they refuse to acknowledge the problem or improve upon it, there’s a chance your relationship might go south - or even become toxic.
Best of luck! I hope love finds you - even in the ways society neglects to emphasize. And thank you for the ask.