#touch aversion

[forged-in-kaoss]

Murderbot + Mensah listening to its boundaries

[violins-and-misery]

cw: touch aversion, psychological whump, implied violence

the thing that does it for me isn't just painful punishment, althought i love to see that, it's how the whumpee starts reacting to non-painful touches. the whumper's hand just grazing their cheek/neck and they stiffen up, their body flushes with adrenaline bracing for impact that never comes. and i LOVE IT

[eldritchbauble]

People on the whole are SO weird about it if you're touch averse because that conflicts with their entitlement to you / your body complex.

[busylickingsatansballs]

You're my seahorse.

Adrian Chase x Touch avoidant metahuman reader

Summary: Adrian reasures reader that touch isn't as important as they originally thought.

Warnings: Mentions of gore, swearing, suicidal ideation i don't think this has many triggers but if I've forgotten anything please just let me know. Reader has powers like Cate from Gen V but with an advanced healing factor but is traumatised from years of experiments.

You were always a pour your heart out kind of person when you'd had a drink, blame it on the years of isolation and crippling loneliness in Wallers labs praying one day she'd be kind enough to let you die.

Unfortunately she wasn't.

Never in your wildest dreams did you ever think Amanda Wallers daughter would be the person you spilled your guts to let alone consider one of your closest friends.

Getting to know her you'd realised two things 1.) she was a hell of a cool person and 2.) she was as much of a victim of her mother as you were.

So here you are enjoying your Friday off, drunk, eating bad food and watching equally bad TV on your couch. Ad's gives you a sideways glance setting her half eaten food on the table, you know what she's waiting to bring up.

You keep your eyes glued to the TV pretending you can't practically feel her curiosity bleeding into the space between you.

"So Adrian seems to be coming over alot." she lets the statement to dangle between you waiting for you to take the bait.

You do. But she already knows you will.

A sideways glance at her face lets you know this is a conversation you aren't escaping Ad's was far too nosey for that. Sighing you set down your own half picked at food reaching for your drink you down the rest with a grimace.

"He's a friend." You start

"A friend who's over alot."

"You're a friend who's over alot." You glance around at the takeout, drinks and down at her lap to where one of your many blankets currently rests.

"I don't climb through your window at 3am cause I cant sleep." You snort the memory of a dripping, shivering Adrian like a lost puppy outside your window as it stormed heavily flashing before your eyes, how long he'd been out there already you dont know he wouldn't say, but you were one deep sleeper.

You made a point of giving him a key after that.

"What about that one time Keeya kicked you out?" You counter watching her grimace at the memory.

"I don't sleep in your bed." Her face wrinkles further like the thought disgusts her.

"Adrian doesn't-" all words die on your tongue because anything after would be a lie. You never did anything he would just lay beside you and sleep which probably sounded unbelievable to alot of people now that you think about it.

Knowing she has you beat Ad's smuggly raises her brows fixing you with that pointed look as she wiggles them suggestively, making you laugh.

"Come on, give a girl something. Chris and Emilia will be in a nursing home before anything spicy happens between them." You groan at the thought.

"Okay fine just never put the thought of old Chris and Emilia doing it in my head again." She holds her hand up in mock promise.

"Sometimes it's hard you know? Touching people with my power being in peoples heads and all the experiments, the pain. I feel like nothing good has ever come from touch." Ad's face fills with sympathy.

Your mind takes you back to that cold, dark lab. Strapped to a table while a team of "scientists" cut parts off jotting down how long they took to grow back ignoring your pleas for them to stop.

You were six years old when you learned just how ugly the world could really be, a hard lesson you had never allowed yourself to forget.

Forcing down bile you will yourself back into the present.

"Adrian is the most honest person I've ever known, how crazy is that? Not a though in his head he hasn't said out loud and it's so refreshingly Adrian it's hard not to grow fond." Your cheeks feel warm at the admission.

"You know he thinks the world of you." And there's no room for argument, he really does but just because she sees it, it really doesn't mean that he would if he found out how broken you really were.

Honestly who in their right mind could ever be content with just the pleasure of your company?

"And I think the world of him, you know I actually look forward to his animal facts? The guys contagious I swear." Ad's laughs fondly taking a swig of her drink TV long forgotten.

"So what's with the hesitation?"

"Touch, sex, I just can't." You feel your eyes prickle hating the wobble in your voice. It made you feel small, weak, like Waller had won.

"I don't actually think sex, is all that important to him. Sure he had that one threesome with Chris but I swear it's like playing tennis to Adrian." That does make you feel a little better, that you wouldn't be depriving him of anything.

But still you weren't fully convinced.

After a few more hours of gossip Ad's heads home and you clear up ready to get in bed and watch some animal show.

You're getting ready for bed that night shower done, pj's on, you switch on the TV just preparing yourself to climb in bed and zone when a sudden voice almost sends you into cardiac arrest.

"You're my seahorse." You almost jump out your skin whipping round as what you can only describe as the most unflattering noise escapes your throat.

Your wide eyes land on Adrian leaning against your now open bedroom window far too casual for a guy who almost sent you to meet your maker so to speak.

His hair is sticking up in a way that is just not flattering spouting a grey shirt, hoodie and joggers, he looks like he's just rolled out of bed.

"What the fuck Adrian." You exclaim hands clutched to your chest as you will your heart to go back to normal.

"I accidentally eavesdropped earlier on your conversation with Ad's, i know spying is wrong but I swear I just came by to tell you some super cool new animal facts I've learned. Didn't know you had company." He definitely doesn't sound as sorry as he should for spying instead he looks happy cheeks flushed, donning that boyish grin that just melts your insides in the best way.

Wait. Did he just compare you to a aquatic animal?

"Your seahorse?" The confused look on your face goes ignored as he continues on.

"Yeah did you know that the males carry the babies and give birth because the female deposits her egg cells into the males brood pouch." Grinning wildly you can't help but think he looks really proud of the fact that he's remembered that.

"Adrian I can't impregnate you." You say it slow deliberate hoping he'll finally get to the point you know he's trying to make cause if that was it then you don't even know anymore.

"But how cool would that be? I'd finally get to experience motherhood which has been my dream for a long time, what can I say I'm a feminist." He shrugs closing your window and settling on the end of your unmade bed, kicking his shoes off before tucking them neatly under the bottom.

Resisting the urge to snort you watch him as he gets comfortable.

Pushing his glasses up his nose blinking cartoonishly he squints at you, head tilting slightly.

You can't help but think he looks like a confused dog.

Now you know Adrian is bad at alot of things feelings, reading faces are definitely top two but the way he takes pause to study your face almost has you believing that maybe Adrian isn't as clueless as you like to believe.

It's honestly jarring.

"Seahorses also mate for life."

How can something as stupid as a seahorse fact make your heart swell?

"But we haven't-" You leave the sentence open ended jesturing with your eyebrows praying he at least has enough brain power to connect the dots.

Seems luck is on your side tonight.

"I don't care about sex, human skin is like the worst thing to softly touch me."

Oh so that's what this was about he's trying in his own way to let you know sex really doesn't matter all that much to him.

Smiling you place your hand on his shoulder over his shirt giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Your throat feels tight but you manage a small thank you as you settle beside him on the bed shuffling back on your arms reaching for the remote.

Suddenly you feel stupid for worrying about something as trivial as sex, your relationship with Adrian was much more than that and if you were both happy with it that was all that mattered.

"Wanna stay and watch Animal Planet?" You offer already knowing the answer.

Flopping next to you, you giggle as he wiggles around before stilling seemingly comfortable.

"Hell yeah. Did you know that cows can have best friends?"

[reneesghostinthelivingroom]

Cherishing Her Touch

|| Sevika x fem!reader

|| Warnings; reader's upset, reasoning is altered for whatever you want, Sevika averting reader's touch which leads to her being upset, reader cries, Sevika tries to comfort, little dialogue, brief swearing, mentions of vulnerability

|| Summary; when avoiding another hug attempt from reader, Sevika doesn't realize what happens next before it's too late.

Requests closed!

Started; December 11th

Finished; December 11th

HurtCember2024; Day 10, Touch Aversion

Author Note; running a little behind on all my fics, this challenge, my series stuff and requests. hoping to at least get my request stuff done before christmas. thank you for being patient :)

~~~

Dating someone who always tried to be tough wasn't easy. Sevika was exactly that type of person. She wasn't one to show vulnerability often. To her, letting someone touch her was showing vulnerability. She didn't like it. In fact, at the start of your relationship with her you couldn't count the amount of times she completely averted your touch. Making the extra effort to dodge your attempts.

It only stopped when she realized how upset she was making you. You'd been having a rough day and went to her, seeking a hug. You'd snuck up behind Sevika when she was focused on her work. The hug caught her off guard and she moved you off her. Your lip trembled and the waterworks couldn't be stopped. Normally it wasn't something that made you cry, but you were already having a rough day as it was. That was your finale straw. Sevika didn't notice right away that you were crying. Until she heard your little sniffles. When she noticed she felt bad.

Really bad. Sevika turned to you with a frown. There was hesitation in her eyes for a moment before her hand cupped your cheek. Bringing you in close. She didn't know what else to do. She wasn't... well, she'd never done this before. She wasn't even sure she was doing it right. But then you hugged her. Tight, too. Damn you really had a strong grip. The doubt if she was doing this right faded into the background. Being replaced with thoughts of making you feel safe. Wondering who/what caused this. Obviously Sevika knew that she had been your finale straw, but she wondered what could have happened before that. You were tough.

One of the toughest people Sevika knew. But, you did have a softer side to you. You could balance the two in ways she never could. That was one of the many things she admired about you. You were never afraid to show vulnerability, unlike herself. Right now, Sevika was kind of just copying what she had seen you do for other people. Giving hugs. She added in an awkward head pat that you snuggled right into. Cherishing her touch. After all, it wasn't often you got it. So you soaked up the moment.

There was a long silence while Sevika waited for you to settle. Knowing it would be useless talking to you when you were crying. She wouldn't have been able to understand you through your sobs.

"What happened?" Sevika asked once she was sure you had calmed down. At least enough to talk. You explained your entire day to her. Sevika listened to every word. Frowning the more she listened. You'd really been sent through the ringer today, hadn't you?

Sevika kept you in her arms. Feeling no rush to move away from you. Like she normally would have. She... honestly, it felt kind of nice. Would she ever tell you that? Fuck no. But she did like it. And in that moment, she realized she really did really love you.

If it had been someone that hurt you, Sevika would make sure to make them regret it. And if it had just been a bunch of stuff that overwhelmed you, if it wasn't already done she'll take care of it for you. But she would hold off on that until later. Right now, you were her focus.

[sleepymothafterdark]

eddie and volt with a touch starved reader?? Reader gets held gently for once in their life and they just break down crying in their arms. I think this would be very cute and im excited to see what you'll do with this request ^_^

I wrote this at work when we had to shut down yesterday and finally had a chance to polish it up.

Eddie & Volt x reader, angst(ish) more so yearning, reader is touch starved, allusions to rejection sensitivity dysphoria, based on my own experiences with touch starvation

not beta read!!!

How do I make this yearning poetic

You always avoided touch. No matter how much you craved it. Your past partners hardly wanted to hold your hand let alone hug or hold you. It became easier to avoid it than to ask for it. Wasn't it easier to avoid the matter in its entirety rather than face an inevitable rejection?

Regardless, you craved contact so badly it felt like the very sinew of your muscle was about to reach out of your skin and hold onto the first person you could see. It got worse as you gradually stopped leaving your home, and dear reader if you were ever wondering, agoraphobia and touch starvation do not mix very well at all.

The objects in your home respected your avoidance of some of their casual affections, Volt noting the way you find ways to shift out of his embrace as he guides you into the bar, Dirk watching you sidestep him when he rests his arm on your shoulder, he isn't mad he himself isn't a very touchy guy. Harper on the other hand did not take it well and you had to have a sit-down talk with her about how you didn't really like much contact like that.

It's after you help fix the Breaker Box and everything seems to get better that you realize just how terrible the ache in your chest had become. You still did not ask. But the boys noticed. Of course they did they noticed everything. You wished they'd stop noticing.

Eddie noticed when your hand would chase his as he sets a drink down for you, or the look on your face when his fingers brush yours while you hand him a wrench.

Volt noticed the way you stood closer to him, the time you were so tired that you had fallen asleep on his shoulder just before the show had started. He hated having to wake you. He hated the way you seemed to purposefully put space between you and him after that like you were ashamed.

Anyone who'd frequented the Breaker Box knew that Volt was a touchy person so seeing the two of you not really be..well, touchy with each other was strange. They knew the three of you had gotten together after the reset, how could they not? It was all Volt talked about.

Volt brought it up to Eddie, but Eddie mentioned that maybe you just didn't like to be touched. And so, Volt let it go.

Until he couldn't anymore of course.

There was a night when Eddie had maintenance to do that you couldn't help him with despite how much you really wanted to (something to do with the current, too dangerous to take you around, but you could wait upstairs with Volt for him to get back.)

So, you did just that. You waited upstairs with your knees hugged to your chest to make yourself as small as possible to give Volt room on the bed though you already didn't take up much.

"You can be closer Live wire I promise I don't bite." Volt teases "Well..that hard." He chuckles at himself, and you give him a soft smile before you move just an inch or so closer. He looks worried for a moment, just a split second, a twitch of his eyebrow, the spark in his eyes dimming a little bit before he speaks again and fully turns to face you.

"My dear, you know it's okay if you don't want to be touched right?" He asks, you nod pulling your bottom lip between your teeth and biting the skin off your bottom lip, his thumb reaches up slowly and pulls you lip out from your teeth. He moves slowly like he's worried he'll spook you.

"I do want you to." That's the problem. You fidget with the threads in the sheets. "i-" You're interrupted by the creaking of the door to their loft opening Eddie nods to you and doesn't say much before he goes and starts a shower, he'd been covered in what looked to be dirt.

You and Volt sit quietly for a good few minutes, he doesn't press, actually he doesn't really say anything it's a contrast to how he is during the open hours of the club, as if the minute he gets up here he lets himself be off for once. When Eddie comes out, towel wrapped around his hips while he digs through the dresser for a shirt you're able to speak up while he settles for the night.

"Can I.." You trail off trying to find the right words to say as Eddie moves closer so he can hear you better, Volt perks up shifting again on the bed to sit up and look at you. The right words don't come so in the end you just let whatever's in your head spill out of your mouth. "Can I lay on you?"

They both look surprised at this but after a second Eddie smiles and settles on the bed so you can lay between them. Volt wraps an arm around you waist as you settle on Eddie's chest it's like you'd done it a thousand times and it felt so good you could cry gods above how long had it been since you felt the warmth of another persons touch.

Volts hands running through your hair seem to break you apart, you don't even realize you were crying until Eddie cupped your face and turned it toward him.

"Baby what's wrong? Are you alright?" He asks attempting to get you to sit up not expecting you to cling to him, to get as close as you can, "Talk to me spark." He says.

You smile up at him through the tears. "Just really touch starved Eddie." You wipe your eyes and settle deeper against his chest. His arms wrap a little tighter around you. Behind you. Volt entwined his hand with Eddies across your waist and gives you a kiss on the crown of your head, you feel a little spark of static from it and can’t help the giggle that erupts from your mouth. Volt does it again, then again beginning to poke your sides to make you laugh more.

“You’re so perfect live wire.” He murmurs when you finally settle back down.

“I love you both so much. Thank you.” You say closing your eyes, the warmth made you sleepy.

“For what baby?” Eddie asks his brows furrowing,

“This?” You say but it comes out more like a question, Eddie shakes his head at you. “Don’t thank us for this. It’s not some luxury, we adore you, anyone who wouldn’t want to lie here with you is an idiot.” He runs one hands through your hair as he speaks his other on your chin tilting your face to look at him. “Do you understand?” You nod. “Okay. I love you.”

“I love you too.” A yawn breaks free and you three shift into a comfortable silence that puts you to sleep. You sleep better than you have in years there in their arms and overtime you don’t avoid their touch as badly anymore, you let yourself fall asleep on Volts shoulder or reach out for Eddies hand during his breaks at the bar.

I love you all, thank you so much for 209 followers MWAH

I am sleepy so goodnight

m.List

[thequillpill]

Fic based on Persistence Pays

Based on this image from @cherry-blitz 's AU, Persistence Pays

Check it out! it's awesome!!

Alastor POV

My eyes fluttered open, an alarm blaring. Before I got the chance to silence the blasted thing, I noticed Vox. Terrifyingly close, looming over me. Was he watching me while I was sleeping? Odd. 

“What are you doing?”

I didn’t say more. I shouldn’t need to. Vox should notice I’m uncomfortable, he is always good at that.

“Hello, Al. Why are you not in your chair! Up an attem!”

“My what?”

A chair? Vox has said a lot of dumb things, but this has to be up there with the dumbest. He also has not backed up. Something is off with this day. 

“Your chair! You know, because of our deal? Did you get memory loss?”

“Now, I have no clue what you are talking about, dear. A chair? A deal? My friend, you know we never had any deals.”

Back off. He’s just getting closer. Why hasn’t he backed off yet? He knows better. His face went blue. Maybe he’s realizing how close he got and will back off. 

“Friend? Did you just call me a friend?”

“Why are you so shocked, Vox? I call you ‘friend’ all the time. But I may have to take that back if you don't back off.”

That's the first time I’ve said that in centuries. Jesus.. 

“Back off? Oh, I forgot. You don’t like being touched, or whatever. Well, you don't have a choice, get up and into your chair. We have an interview!”

This is not Vox. I don’t know who this is, but it is not Vox. He looks like Vox.. think, Alastor. Who is this TV, and why isn’t he respecting my boundaries?

“Vox. I don’t know what has gotten into you, but I feel you are not the Vox I know. Now, back off, or I will remind you why I am the Radio Demon”

“Oh you silly deer! You don't have that option, because”

He looked to be gesturing to something? Looks like.. Was he trying to pull me by a leash? Does this Vox imposter think he truly has a deal with me? Or.. Is he from a different universe.. 

Rosie told me this could happen. Rare, but possible. He was right. This was not his Vox. And he had the feeling that this day would go much, much worse. 

~ Later that day ~ 

“So, you said friend, huh? To me, I’m your friend.”

“YOU. are not my friend. My friend is- what are you doing?”

Vox had placed his hand on me. God, how I miss my Vox. He would never touch me like this. And without my consent, no less. Vile.

“But, lets play a thought experiment, why don’t we? We are close friends right?”

“Mhm..”

His hands were almost electrical. I could feel my shoulder tingle, and an almost cold, empty feeling surrounded it. Charlie described it as ‘overstimulation’. A truly awful feeling

“So, if I asked you ‘Vox, I value your friendship, you’d say it? Wait! That’s a waste of an opportunity. Say ‘ Vox, you’re stronger than me and I value our deep, borderline homoerotic friendship!’”

“Get your filthy hands off me, you disgrace. You should be ashamed that you share a name with my Vox, you old piece of malware”  My voice came out more as a mumble. Radiostatic swirled and cracked around me. I could feel the radio static coating my voice.

I was furious. This heathen dared to call himself by the same name of Vox. No. I refuse to call him that. I’ve never called Vincent ‘Whittman’ before.. I suppose I could remedy that for today.

Whitman kept his hands there, with this smug look on his face that told me he enjoyed this. Ugh. I shifted my body away from his hands, got up from the couch, and walked as far as I could. This seemed to get him livid.

“What! Get back here! You are under my roof! You deserve to be under my hand! My toy!”

“That’s where you are wrong, Whittman. While you may have your Alastor under your strings, I am not bound by you. I can do whatever I please, and you may not stop me. Now, if you don’t mind, I will make myself some tea.”

“Why the fuck would I have grass water here? No. Go drink coffee like the rest of us.”

“No tea? Well then! Your blood will suffice!”

“Whoa, chill out Al! I’ll go get you you fucking tree water! Geez!” 

“Thats more like it. Now, how long till this day is over? One of these swaps should only last a day, and I’m getting awfully tired of you and your physical touch.”

“Aww, only 10 more hours with you. I’m sure going to miss you”

“I will not. Get me my tea, then I will sleep off the rest of the horrid day.”

Al slept wonderfully, just trying to get his love back. Vox on the other hand, stared blankly at the ceiling the whole night. This alastor.. In another universe, he trusted him. Maybe even loved him.. Why did he have to tow the line? He always messes up, his pride gets in the way, his ego. Maybe if he were a little more humble..

He could have gotten his deer without strings..

PT 1 <You are HERE> PT 2 PT 3

[this-is-amato-heteronormativity]

The constant pressure for people to give hugs, shake hands, or otherwise touch people is touch-normative and asenphobic. It is also ableist, because a lot of people are touch repulsed due to physical pain, sensory issues, anxiety/paranoia, or other symptoms of neurodivergence or physical/sensory disability.