#noncon ment

[oatzimir]

what does deaddove mean? i'm only aware of the "dead dove do not eat" tag, but that works to emphasize the other tags in a work so i have no clue what it means in this context ;;

I'm pretty sure "deaddove" is a warning for graphic content in fanfiction, usually involving noncon and other problematic things. personally I don't want anyone who enjoys noncon/age-gaps and other gross stuff to interact with me, it just, makes me really uncomfortable

[televisionenjoyer]

thank u for ur post as a victim of all 3 just want to say i appreciate you and everyone who speaks as someone who can't talk about it at all mwah

i get this so so much. it's been 9 years since I was sexually abused and I still can't tell my mom. The first time I ever snapped about it on this site is when an ao3 board candidate proposed censoring cp and noncon and people acted like it was the end of the world. And it sucked that I couldn't open up until people told me to suck it up and stop being a baby, because there were so many years where I couldn't even rationalize what had happened to me, felt like it was somehow my fault, thought I should just forget about it, that it should be simple.

Honestly the lack of empathy for victims on this site? especially for those who are still in that period of acceptance and learning how to live with it (as if the process ever stops, I say) is so infuriating. To have someone who has never been through it tell you how you're supposed to cope? That you should just shut up and let others enjoy whatever they want?, GOD it fills me with rage. It's horrible. I wish I didn't feel this infuriated.

I'm so sorry this happened to you. I couldn't possibly understand the extent of it but I try my best to comprehend it from my place. I'm glad you felt seen and I hope it makes even the tiniest difference for someone on this site.

[glambots]

Can you write about non-con?

No.

[whumpzone]

You said once that Linden was probably asexual if anything, so I was wondering if he would actually like having sex or be sex adverse. Because if he likes sex, wouldn’t it be a shame if corrupted! Linden decided to use his pet in that way. If he’s sex adverse or even just neutral on sex I totally get it, this is just my whumpy ideas.

omgggggg that is such a cruel thought!! Poor Col's nightmare coming true at last 🥺

But also... if Linden despises sex and was corrupted in a way that he's still in there and can't control his actions.... how horrible for our Linden

I do love the type of corruption where their true self is still in there somewhere and trying to fight it. Like a good old mind control scenario 🥰

[bytedykes]

Magnus Bane? :o

ABCD Headcanons: Magnus Bane

i got TWO for magnus which makes me so happy i love him so much literally im on the verge of tears constantly hkfhkkds

A: what I think realistically

B: what I think is fucking hilarious

C: what is heart-crushing and awful but fun to inflict on friends

D: what would never work with canon but the canon is shit so I believe it anyway

A: magnus is the most bossass fucking bitch in town and high warlock of brooklyn is an understatement of the area he actually is the high warlock of, he has way more influence than just brooklyn but also he likes it so that’s his title<3 jkfsdhk also magnus has adhd

B: magnus having catlike instincts is literally SO funny bc on one hand it’s soft as hell (purring!! the leaning into someone’s palm thing!! liking his hair being played with!! etc) but also it has the potential to be SO STUPIDLY FUNNY eg magnus randomly smacking something off the table and then going oh shit oh fuck and snapping it fixed,,, magnus hating snow,,, and cucumbers,,,

also another one is magnus with “demon-like” traits, i thought of it while i was angry at someone (not naming names lol) for writing abt magnus having “demon urges” bc of his “demon side” (which is the most stupid fucking nasty concept ever 🤢🤢🤢 btw like u didnt ask but just in case u were curious jfhsdk i hate the concept of a warlock’s “demon side” making them inherently evil bc like STOP!!!! smh i hate dark!magnus in general but like this is New Heights of stupidity) so realistically and more humorously, FUNNY “demon-like” traits, such as making deals for no reason, having dope glowy eyes, turning the stove on too high and being slightly heat-resistant, incapable of eating unburnt marshmallows, anyway this hc is kind of on thin ice bc while it can be funny i feel like if i actually let it happen so many dark!magnus weirdos would warp it into smth truly horrible so this is just some 3am-brain anti-dark!magnus fun 😌😌

OKOK ONE MORE: magnus texting either like the oldest of men OR like a gen z kid on a sugar high. these can co-exist<3

C: not rlly a hc but more of an expansion of canon: the way magnus’ self worth is tied to what he does for/gives to people :’) literally it hurts me sm. this man needs therapy. additionally camille probably fucked up his sense of self worth big time (implied noncon tw) and hammered it into him that he wasn’t worth anything unless he puts out,,, aauugh (i dont have enough brainpower rn to rlly go into it but if anyone wants to see a not!fic i’ve had abt it dm me or send me an ask off anon fhjsk)

D: magnus and ragnor have biweekly brunches where they sometimes invite raphael and have a “being immortal dramatic asses” night that almost always ends up with them at the loft on their way to getting completely hammered bitching abt one thing or other

anyway im tired but i hope this is readable jskfkd ✌😙💞

[thassabadtake]

i know lily's perspective is that she's an abuse victim speaking on abuse, and i won't fight her on that. 

but much in the same way that gay people can be homophobic, abuse victims can spout abuse rhetoric. it's almost par for the course if you don't course correct.

so, just, for my own peace of mind here, let me reassure anyone reading:

lily is wrong about abuse. on every level, in the worst possible ways, she is wrong. the only thing she got right in that, is that her behavior is cruel.

she is a cruel, toxic person, and justifying it with victim blaming nonsense. that's all that is. her flimsy rationalization for her own sake.

abuse, particularly long term abuse, changes you. i didn't want to get too personal on here, but i will say that i've been in multiple abusive relationships of many kinds. one in particular was ... extreme. it lasted several years, and involved a lot of violent nonconsent.

having that done to you, and being made to feel it was justified ... messes with your head. you don't think you could ever get to that point, but then it happens, and you're in it, and it all makes sense.

that's why abuse is so dangerous, particularly emotional abuse. most abuse victims will tell you: it's a process. things that aren't normal get made normal bit by bit, day by day, in jokes and casual talk and simple minutia. you're slowly broken down and reshaped into someone different, locked into a permanent mental space you can't shake off without help - and then you're cut off from help, often by being taught you don't deserve it, or there's nothing to help in the first place.

the point of abuse is to make you feel small and helpless and out of control, so the abuser can feel the opposite of those things. very often, your own mind won't be the only leverage they have over you, either.

"just cut off your absuive parent" is all well and good, until you have siblings and pets you can't take with you, or you depend on them for financial and medical support.

"just get a different job" is fantastic, until basically anything to do with current capitalism ever kicks in, particularly if your boss is influential in your field.

"just leave them" is fine and dandy, until you have kids, shared bank accounts, legal documents tied up in each others' names that they can use to get the police after you - anything at all that's the result of tangibly linking your life to another person. a smart abuser will get as much of that kind of leverage as soon as they can.

if you want to put your own life first and survive, no one can fault you for that. but you equally cannot fault people who believe the best thing they can do is stay, even if they're wrong. so, so often, they're saying that because A) they've been beaten into believing it, B), they have people relying on them to keep the status quo, or C) they have access to a resource in that situation that they will lose if they leave it.

we help those people. not spit on them. if you can't help them yourself, then the least you can do is not cause any more damage.

lily is failing on the latter.

[erregent]

            reminder that non/con is gross and it’s not a fetish or kink or w/e it’s just gross and the fact a non/con fic is top rated in the convin tag on ao3 really speaks volumes about this fandom 

[glambots]

What's non-con?

Non-consent. (IE: R/pe // Sex/al Ass/ult)