Why you should vote for each of them and full art below!
Khastunet "Cass Mask" Djeserit (species: half Krok, all mummy, @mudstoneabyss)
"Ok listen. He's a Krokotopian prince. he's got mommy issues. he dies but he's cursed so he's not *dead*. His tomb gets raided by some Marleybonians and his casket brought to Cool Ranch where they think if they start some kind of new showcase there they can make a quick buck. But oops! Mummy incident! He's back and real mad at these guys and don't worry he does deal with them, but afterwards hes still kind of just in this new place now but rather than be upset about it he goes. well when in Rome. and becomes a cowboy. So he's an undead cowboy prince who hates the British and idk that's pretty cool. He's even transgender"
Wood/Woodie/Woodrow (species: construct, by @aberrantparadox, art by @kurofae)
"Woodrow isn't a human, and Woodie isn't a person, though they do like to roleplay as one. Are they cool? What are they? They aren't even sure. Woodie, Woodrow.... they're not even the being's names, simply names extrapolated from the common answer they give to the question of they are ("....uhm....I'm wood"). They're human shaped but not human looking, with a human heart but not human emotions, they're a machine in a literal sense but also a metaphorical one as they do do their duty as told, but they're also doing it of their free will - theyre certainly a thinking person but they aren't. It would be wrong though to say they're looking for real personhood, though, or to be utterly rid of personhood also - they're searching for something beyond that, and beyond the spiral too, they think. Something like the jungle of stardust they always see in their "dreams".
There's the factual part - as in, they're a wood mannequin made by Merle Ambrose to fight off Malistaire and other threats. Well, they're actually just plucked from Golem Tower and altered. Their concept was brought up before Malistaire went rogue, and then abandoned. Woodie is the golem, and the magic possessing it, and the heart of the fallen champion of Bartleby, and the heads. He is also none of these at any given time. It isn't his heart - it lives in their chest cavity with all their gears, things that belong to them, indubitably, and is theirs, as much as their heads are or aren't.
Their heads - each professor made a different swappable head distinctly tuned to their school of magic, so that their new champion could perfectly and easily master all the schools. They're necessary to channel the magic inherent in other tools, for someone/thing who otherwise has no magic within them. Each head feels different to use for Woodrow, gives different consequences and a different mindset, but the spirit doesn't become different beings, unless you define a being by its personality and magical energy - a common definition. Woodrow leaves it open.
They can see out of any of the heads, or all at the same time, having 7-fold (and eventually 9-fold) vision. They don't need any attached to their body to move, think, or function, but they do need them to cast spells, and when in the field its better to keep at least one head attached just in case. Their weird sight also lets them see stranger things, like invisible beings, currents of magic, and other phenomena. They can't gape at any of that though, because they don't have a face, and they wouldnt anyway, because they came into the world that way and none of this is surprising. But it is a bit lonely.
Feelings are difficult when youre made of wood and don't have human sensations. Most emotions Woodie experiences are muted and overlaid with boredom or a sort of diffuse nothingness. But occasionally they do feel something properly, and that is the most vast thing in the world to them. They deeply care about other beings and will readily use violence to keep the majority safe. They're unsympathetic to those who hurt others out of hurt, but aren't cruel. Every being, secure in their self, breathing with lungs and gills and magic, even the evil ones, are a wonder to Woodrow, and like the person who once had his-but-not-his heart, protecting those beings in their perfect imperfection - just to look at them - just to look at them, it's everything, just to look at them...."
Submissions for the Non-Human Showdown! Including ones that are invalid!
Fang (x2)
“🦈🦈🦈”
“He's Fang ❤”
Cody Jr (x2)
“Cody Jr! No! Not Aunty Heather!”
Mr Coconut (x2)
“The og. Should have won every season /serious”
vince the alligator (x2)
“SWEEEEP”
“The lore… so immaculate”
the don box (x2)
“bzzz i have a stupid fucking clue for you. ah fuck the interns put me in a lame outfit again”
“what id don on about he's slaying in that shirt”
wt pineapple (x2)
“ALEPINEAPPLE FOREVER!!!”
“👅🐍🐍🐍🐍”
Irene the fish (x2)
“shes so beautiful i’d kiss her too”
“The final remaining member of Team Victory after DJs elimination, Irene went on to win the million and the hearts of many.”
the chrarry baby (x2)
“Goo goo gaa gaa”
“ive got my eye on u chris mclean”
Princess Beth Doll
“I WANT TO BUY ONE SO BAD IRL!!!!! Also, this too is yuri”
Old Jester from reboot S2ep9
“I love when Damien hugged him! That's scene is soooo cute. Also I love fluffy animal!”
Bobo :)
“SEASON 2 SPOILERS Bobo is the name of the bear that had the Raj mask in season 2 episode 12 :) idk I just think he’s silly”
DJ’s bunny
the Chris-shaped cake that Julia's group made
“I wanna eat that thang”
Dramarama Cody
“He's an alien”
Theodore (MK's stuffed unicorn)
(the arts and crafts) Shed (from season 1)
“shed sweep”
that evil little seal from wt
“sooo little and evil. who can hate him”
caleb rock
“possibly the best version of him out there”
the skull duncan carved for courtney
“you cant deny how iconic it was”
eva’s mp3 player
“the most important character in td history”
heather’s various hairstyles
“possibly the most diverse and versatile entity in td historu”
pahkitew island
“The best one”
Myself
“:^)”
ryan seacrests car
“very fast”
chef's car (total dramarama and gen 4)
“MY CAR!!!!!”
alien clone cody
“AAAAAAA*explodes into green goo*”
chris's wig
“wiggin”
heather's wig
“wiggin”
total drama yum yuk happy go time candy fish tails
“You ate it!”
trents five finger shirt
“5”
princess courtney CD
“all the greatest hits!”
owens butt
“fart”
anne maria’s hair style
“Ey im walkin here”
bridgettes surfboard
“BONK”
the fake antlers from the paintball ep
“Duncney”
manitobas fedora
“served!”
beary <3
“it’s LITERALLY beary”
ripper’s world record breaking fart
“he did it”
the portrait of cody as blue boy in wt
“funny looking”
sierra’s pizza box-cum-laptop*
“she uses the internet AND eats witj it. shes a genius”
*Mod Note: this refers to cum meaning: combined with; also used as (used to describe things with a dual nature or function).
waynes accent
“Eh we play hockey eh”
mal ventriloquist doll
“aaah im evil mal doll”
alejandro puppet
“we do a little trolling”
Chef 2.0
“He made him from a cashew”
Mt. Kīlauea
“She has the mercy to have her lava not hot enough to kill Alejandro, Ezekiel, and that random intern like... Everyone say "thank you" or somethin idk. Do you think she feels bad that Alejandro ended up in a robot suit because”
Immunity idol s4-5
“They ruined it's design in the reboot boooooooo”
MK's infernape
“Listen, she's a gamer and she's based. She would totally pick chimchar in bdsp. She probably hates people who tells her to "play platinum" because that was a game made for old people.
Try and exclude this submission, I dare you. There's nothing that says I can't submit theoretical non-humans. There's a non-zero chance that MK has an Infernape and I know it's been raised to have some awesome sneaky move. If you exclude this, I bet you'd allow "Mike's Torterra" because only a grass type fan would be a fire type and MK hater!!
Julia would keep her piplup unevolved and beat her console into tiny bits when she gets to Cynthia btw”
the drone of shame
“[picks up victim and flies away] wheeee”
that giant bowl of rice they fall into in japan
“mm giant bowl of rice”
noah’s dog
“his epic dog”
celine dion cardboard cutout
“love fucking wins #duncney”
the face huggers from Area 51
“rip tyler”
ezekiel MISSING milk carton
“Sad! He died.”
the eagle chris shot and killed
“someone arrest this man. again”
the confessional
“it’s always there for you”
geoff’s splinter
“OW”
the bread from codys pants
“man i need to rewatch island. i fucking love the pants bread”
That ice cream snowman from SMS
“LISTEN. JUST BECAUSE HE IS FROM THE EPISODE THAT SHALL NOT BE NAMED DOES NOT MEAN YOU CAN NOT GIVE HIM HIS RESPECT”
bear
“the one from raptear specifically. let's go lesbians”
that pizza chase threw the challenge for
“clearly he should be with it rather than emma. chemma? chipper? chazee? nope never fucking heard of them”
Momma's Spice
“*sprinkles it on op's head* mmmm tasty”
The Gilded Chris award
WT barf bags
“give a real f to those guys. never appeared after episode 7.”
the toxic marshmallow of loserdom
“killer of staci's hair”
The lavatory confessional
“bitch is iconic. 6/8 is a passing mark!!!”
Courtney's PDA
“why wouldnt they call it a phone idk but its so camp”
The Cassowaries
“Male cassowaries are responsible for raising the young. We love an involved father.”
Fire-breathing winged mountain goats
“You could make an Undertale reference with this (also they're really cool)”
Giant Beetle
“Dott shippers will like this one”
Mutated Maggots
“They're pretty cute!”
Six-Legged Rats
“ADORABLE EEEEEEEP!!!!”
scott bird
“what a beautiful bird”
Chef's car
“It may play a role in mkulia canon”
Gethin
that rainbow porridge in episode 8 of the reboot
“aw hell naw chris cookin up the gay porridge”
The cassowary that fell in love with Zee
“We love an iconic single mother looking for love”
The rat in the cargo hold that appears on screen for 0.5 seconds during Ezekiel's solo in "Come Fly With Us"
“That rat really carried the whole song. Iconic. Astounding. Never before seen talent. Lady Gaga is shaking in her Demonias.”
The Erymanthian Boar
“It wrecked Duncan's shit in Greece.”
The dock of shame
“So many teens walked on her, i think she deserves some recognizion”
