#nonsense mostly

[the-fox-populi-says]

This is what the internet was meant for.

[mechaffeine]

Yeah now I genuinely can’t look at the ‘Icy’ Blitzwing personality smiling without That Picture flashing in my mind

I thought it was a joke

that it didn’t *actually* haunt people and that it was being played for laughs

...

I was so terribly wrong

[kangofu-cb]

Just wasted twenty minutes polling my friends to name a fictional cat instead of writing A++ this is how fics happen

[meowmeowmeow9]

shitty drunken musings

what is more beautiful than you in this moment? nothing words behind me, nothing words as you kiss her head

nothing words and there you are beside me

the most beautiful thing

forever you are half of me

speak in all your languages

i’ll hang on every word

in your hands is every word

nic-sick little girl

i’ll hold you until i’m dead

crooked concrete and flag pattern straps

what’s it all mean?

i’m listening, i’m listening

i’m hanging on every word

star clipped girl and pretty pink curls

my angel in the comforter

this is an eternal place

i’ll live in this room forever

volume 10, i’ll show you what love is

i’m in this room forever

i feel forever now

here she is right next to me

death’s a nothing word

if i could become a second thing i’d do it this instant

a second thing:

a concept

protecting you is what i do

i’m a second thing that holds you in every moment

i hold you through the scary things

i cradle your hand and the image of your eyes

i do that as the second thing

do you know that you are beautiful?

i wonder all the time

silver bangle pixie

ive been brave about the wrong things and you make me want to fear it

in my next life i’ll ask myself if i’ve known you before and then i’ll realize that i’ve known you forever

and from here on out i won’t forget

that you are what forever is

[camelotoking]

Also, I currently have a laundry list of things that are upsetting me so I will share them with the void that is my tumblr.

-My whole state is flooding and we are under mandatory water conservation

-My car broke down and it is $800 to fix it. I was forced to get a credit card because I don’t have the money to pay for it.

-I am starting a new job next week that I really don’t want but I am not reliably getting paid at my current job so I have to leave.

-I am feeling generally very down and depressed and don’t want to do much, sleeping a lot, skipping activities I normally enjoy etc. It’s a problem.

-My house has kind of fallen into neglect this past week because I have been busy and exhausted and I am having an “I don’t know where to start” sort of day and I can’t do dishes due to the water restrictions which is usually the biggest thing I can do to make myself feel better so I am distressed.

This is all pretty small stuff compared to other people’s issues with the flooding but I guess I’m still sad about them. I am also having super bad dysphoria worse than I’ve had in a long time because I guess seeing queer people having positive interactions and experiences while being out and ok with it is upsetting to me since I can’t?

My mom asked me the other day if I missed my “liberal lifestyle” I pressed her to say what she meant and she said “you know, when you weren’t -name- anymore” (aka when I was out and using male pronouns at college) and I actually honestly said that I missed it pretty much constantly. She didn’t really say much to that but she knows, I think. She knows I only live the way I do for her. I think she knows its why I am so sad too but I don’t think she has the courage yet, or if she ever will, to say its ok. I know I don’t need her permission but she and my stepdad are the most important people in my life and I can’t bear the thought of compromising our relationships even if it means I am overall less happy. It doesn’t make sense I guess but it is the reason. I love them more than I love myself and I don’t really have a support system outside of them.

[corporalsnark]

So today my friend and I were talking (if you know me you know I've only got one) and she tells me that we're like Penny and Amy from The Big Bang Theory.  So first she explains the entire dynamic of their relationship even though I said I knew who both the characters were.  So by all accounts I was assuming I was the Amy.  It makes sense, we've both got brown hair, dress like old women, are dorks, and have little to no social skills.  She's the blond with the sunny (if overwhelming) personality and a knack for attracting men.  So as she goes on I'm sitting there politely waiting for her to finish up so I can explain why she's wrong.  Because unlike Amy I do not pine for her attention and get all excited when we go shopping or something like that. 

As I begin to make my case she interrupts me to tell me no, I've got it wrong, because apparently I'm the Penny in this friendship.  

When did that happen?