Act I
After eating dimsum with my cousin, I went to starbucks to study, but when I got there, I felt a sense of anxiety and claustrophobia. I felt like I was drowning — to the point where I had to call an uber to take me home. That was the first time I felt such anxiety about school. Going back home, I told myself I would study but instead I decided to play games with my friends because the thought of studying made me feel anxious. After a couple hours, I felt okay, but priscilla was down to hang out so I pushed back schoolwork. I was going to tell her I like her but it didnt feel right, not especially at the current state I was in. We got boba and she took me home. I continued to play games with, now, my other group of friends and continue to push back schoolwork. In the back of my head, there was this quiet reminder that I really need to start on my presentation and study for my exam, like a subtle alarm. But I ignored it. I went to go see moonlight with my friends. Going home, I played another game with my other buddies and, finally, I took a shower.
There, I realized what a complete piece of shit I am. Never have I felt so weak. In the shower, I was thinking about my exam and presentation and realized that they aren’t even that difficult. Pushing my schoolwork back and back seemed to make their presence even bigger in the back of my mind. I need to take everything step by step. (Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s all a small stuff)
Fuck, im not upset anymore about not doing any schoolwork the entire day but more upset about the fact that it took me an entire day to come to this epiphany. Well, everything is going to work out anyway, I know that for sure.
From now on, no more zero days.
Plan Before sleep: mediate 15 min Wake up: 7:30 Jogging: 10 min Mediate: 10 min Afterwards: schoolwork 10 minute of variations of: ppt, vocabs, reading, calc, nap
Sorry past me, but don’t worry. I’ll make future me proud.
