#normal-horoscopes

[theshitpostcalligrapher]

more on shits draws nonsense with a mouse: whatever this thread is.

@normal-horoscopes​ you’ve got a visual persona with bones all ready to go but I’m not sure what I’d illustrate @nudityandnerdery as for part two of this thing

[weaver-z]

@normal-horoscopes Someone immortalized the Riddle Master Incident

[bismutharts]

Dear thing, in another place, another time, perhaps it could’ve been better.

but the night is long and full of beasts and we must go a-hunting.

quote from @normal-horoscopes, here

[thishazeleyeddemon]

Ay Where's Normal-Horoscopes

@theshitpostcalligrapher

sorry to @ you but you know them right? What happened to their blog?

[normal-horoscopes]

Normal Horoscope:

Aries: If the world feels scary, there is no shame in retreating to your burrow for a bit. We all get overwhelmed from time to time. Take the opportunity to use your powerful abdominal muscles to lunge at passing prey.

Taurus: Your desire to tidy up is a good thing, ride that impulse as long as it can take you. You should probably call someone about all those spent nuclear fuel rods.

Gemini: You have weird friends, the stars say it has always been something you’ve valued. When one of them starts hissing and recoiling at light, it may be time to have a sit down, ask whats going on.

Cancer: Humans may be persistence hunters, but after someone blocks you for the fourth time you ought to just take the hint.

Leo: A cosmic mix-up has sent copies of your wishes to the Turtle God. If you have any bouts of turtle-based luck, you know who to thank.

Virgo: Your clothing has learned the shape of you. Even after you move on it will remember you in where the fabric is warped by sweat and wear.

Libra: The stars say its okay, you can indulge a bit, be a little bad, treat yourself, activate beast mode.

Scorpio: We cannot control our emotions, only our actions. Some people may think that stealing someones face is an overreaction to catcalling but the stars think it was really funny.

Ophiuchus: If you lie down in the river for a while you will be overcome with river-grasses and aquatic plant life. Might take a while though. The stars and I believe in you.

Sagittarius: The worms living in your brain have formed a republic and have passed a motion to make you really good at sex.

Capricorn: Sometimes you have a rough week, it happens. If you’ve never tried hitting stuff really hard with a hammer, this might just be the week to try it.

Aquarius: Your creative impulses and natural charm will be completely useless in your quest to “Do the Mario ground pound in real life.“ This is a test of the body against the world.

Pisces: The stars and I are unsure of what it means to “Upgrade your dog“ but as long as you don’t do anything illegal you have our full support.

[flagellant-receipts]

For context, the above screenshot is from my discord server, which is actually where I first met Innes. He followed me on tumblr (I don't even think we were initially mutuals?) and when I posted the invite link to my blog, he joined. Specifically, it's in the channel of my server that was for talking about witchcraft, the occult, and related topics. I'm a therian, and I'd been visiting the same spot of woods for some time which made me feel more in touch with my more 'primal' side, I guess you could say. This is where it all began. Also, this is an old discord account of mine, so that's why the username + pfp are different than other posts.

I don't even know what to say. I vaguely remembered this stuff all happening, but I frankly thought I'd made it all up! This is some cult shit! No wonder I was so dependent on him, he WANTED me to be.

[bubsdubs]

Wizard Rap

Made from this post

Lyrics by:

@jame7t  @realkorvus-art @normal-horoscopes

“Versace” beat by Anabolic Beatz

[nevadawolfe]

Hey @staff I really hope you have a fucking DAMN good reason for removing one of the truly great things about this site by purging @normal-horoscopes 🤬🤬🤬