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12 Apostles JudasxFemReader +18 FINAL.

Okay, so here I come! This is the last part of that serie, I have to say thank you so much for all the reading and love and comments that you gave to me, it meant too much for me. I was a little scared to post something so long, but it worth it.

I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did writing it.

This part it pretty long because I fixed all in one last chapter so... I hope it will not become too boring.

Summary: You are part of a club called the 12 Apostles, you are the daughter of the Leader and Judas is the right hand of your brother, the next leader. Warning: M, Smut (Yes, finally, sorry!), +18.

N/A; I said it’s Lady Gaga’s fault but it’s also Son Of Anarchy’s fault…

N/A: Sorry for my English, it isn't my fisrt language.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4.

taglist: @browneyes528 @phoenixblack89 @purple-serenity @pncnsc

(If you want to be on the list, just let me know!)

You look at them crossing your arms, Jax is quite a bit taller than Judas, but Judas doesn't seem to care about those extra inches, he lifted his head, squared his shoulders trying to make himself bigger that way and bites his lower lip while still frowning. Jax doesn't remove the twisted smile from his mouth and it is evident that he wants to fight with the brunet. Jesus stands up as well, banging his head on the table to get his attention. Your father and Clay also get up, not understanding what this is all about.

"I think that for today the meeting is over." Jesus speaks before your Father intervenes and bangs the gavel on the table. Reluctantly Clay manages to get Jax out of there and slowly the 12 Apostles leave as well.

"Leave me with them, Father." He asks the man. "I need you to calm the atmosphere down there." He doesn't look too pleased, but finally he leaves and Jesus closes the door to the meeting room. It's just the three of you; Jesus, Judas and you. You look at both men and it's obvious which Judas has deflated, whatever he was willing to do to Jax for opening his mouth was gone and now he had his eyes fixed on the floor.

"I'm sorry." He says to your brother. "I didn't mean to...I know I shouldn't have...”

“It's okay, brother, this was bound to happen sooner or later..." Jesus shakes his head and lets Judas rest his forehead on his shoulder. You are fed up with the whole situation, you need explanations. You get up from your chair drawing the attention of both men.

"What's going on here? I have anything to say? are you going to raffle me off like I'm a fucking prize?"

"Sis, calm down, it's something we wanted to tell you in due time." Jesus starts, but you don't want to hear it.

"I'm not a fucking object! I don't know what the fuck this all means but I don't belong to anyone!"

"Not yet." Jesus agrees and then looks at Judas who stands silently a few steps behind him observing the whole situation. "Listen, ten years ago, The Father found out about your relationship with Norman." You both shudder as your brother uses his real name. "Our father was angry, our mother almost had a stroke, he sent us on a mission and forced me to punish him..." He mutters and you see the two men lower their heads. "I had to because our father was there watching, but when he left I promised him you would be his, I gave him my blessing so you two could be together later..."

"That's bullshit, I was of age, I could have chosen whoever I felt like, you didn't have to plan anything behind my back." You are angry and you feel your eyes stinging.

"Your Father would never have left us." That's when Judas speaks up. "I may have the title of Vice President but your parents would never have left the club in my hands, even if you were with me... They never forgave what my father did to them, he pretended in front of everyone that he accepted me, but he never trusted me so I had to walk away and he would think it was all over."

"Was Mingus part of the plan too?" you say angrily and wipe away a sneaky tear.

"That doesn't..."

"That doesn't matter now. Our father forced him to bring that woman with him, and the things that have happened can no longer be fixed, but we are trying to have a different future." He explains and you raise your head like a spring, a different future? It's ironic since it's the same thing Judas had told you a few days ago in your apartment about Mingus, about his gallery, did that future also involve the club? Maybe Judas and Norman Reedus weren't as different as you first thought. Still all that doesn't make sense, you can't be Judas' girl, you never accepted that, they can't keep you there as a reserve for when he wants to claim you, things don't work like that. At least you're not going to let them be like that with you. Norman had his chance, you really don't believe what Jesus has said about your father, your father accepted Judas into the club many years ago, it didn't make sense.

"We are trying to change the direction of the club from within." Judas' voice brings you out of your thoughts. "We're fed up with the gun running, the problems with the police, the gangs, we want to make the club legal..." Okay, you have to admit that you weren't expecting that at all.

"We've never said anything to you because you've never been involved in the action, the club's accounts would be reduced but it wouldn't change too much for you... but it's something we have to do when our father is gone." Jesus insists and you stammer not knowing what to say. "I brought Jax and his men because they want the same thing they’re trying to take Clay's position away from him, if we join forces it will be much easier, but it's something we have to do little by little..."

"How many people know?"

"Andy and John... they are the only ones I fully trust." Jesus is sincere and Judas nods you look at them and run your hands over your face trying to process all that. "What I didn't expect is that Jax would want to claim you." At that moment it's your turn to avert your gaze and lower your head in embarrassment. You don't quite remember what happened the night before. You're sure that you and Jax didn't have a moment, it's also true that waking up alone in your bed doesn't mean anything, but you're convinced that if that man had spent the night with you. You would remember. "But I'll talk to him, I'm sure you aren’t a priority for the covenant otherwise... we'll look for someone else." Your brother declares and then sighs. He gently taps his right hand on your shoulder and exits the meeting room leaving you alone.

You don't quite know what to say, you feel the anger has subsided a bit and you feel bad about it, you shouldn't just accept what happened, you feel used and for some strange reason, you feel relief to know what is happening. Somehow it all makes sense; why Judas stopped talking to you, why they disappeared for so long, why the men at the club have never tried to approach you like that, why Judas showed up with that woman as if she was his but they never really hit it off. Everything seemed to fit together like a puzzle and yet you're still overthinking your head. You tense up when you notice that Judas is moving, he has taken out his phone and seems to be looking for something. He approaches you and shows you a photograph. You recognize it, you've seen it in Judas' gallery when you went the other time with Ana, it's blurred, you can't really see what it is, but you don't understand why he's showing it to you either. You look at him and he changes the image, you look down and cover your mouth with both hands to discover that it is the same picture, but now you see clearly what it is; it is Judas, his face is destroyed from a severe beating, broken nose, eyes completely black, split lip and hair mixed in blood and dirt. You look at him and he pulls the phone away from you a little.

"You can think what you want, that's your complete right, but I don't want you to think Jesus is a liar or a traitor to your father. Because he isn't. He did this to me on your father's orders, I'm not blaming him either, he did what he had to do. But he's telling you the truth, we're... he's trying to fix the club, so that no one else gets hurt." You stay quiet, looking at him, his pupils are dilated, there is passion and anger in them, he is not lying to you, they are really plotting something so that the club becomes something legal, something new and good. You don't say anything, you see him go to the door and leave, you need one more moment alone to think.

You take out your cell phone and text Ana asking her if she is alone, she responds positively and asks you if something is wrong, you don't answer, you just pick up your stuff and leave the club. She is your best friend, you need to talk to her, tell her everything that has happened in such a short time, besides John is aware of everything, it's not like you are betraying your brother or something like that.

It takes you twenty minutes to walk from the club to your friend's house, actually you have been almost running, while you were leaving you had heard Andy calling you to take you with his motorcycle, but you had ignored him completely. What you really need is to clear your mind, stop thinking about everything, stop crying like you are doing and control yourself a little, get your mind in order. You arrive at your friend's apartment and knock on the door. Ana takes a few minutes to open the door and when she sees you she lets you hug her, hiding your face on her shoulder, as if you were a little girl who has done something very bad. You go into the apartment and sit on the sofa. Ana doesn't say anything, waiting for you to recover a little and giving you time to talk without feeling pressured. You tell her everything.

You tell her about Judas, about Norman, you tell her about everything you went through together, you tell her about when he disappeared, when he came back with that woman, you tell her about how it was taking care of Mingus, you tell her about the club and the new intentions Jesus has to remodel it from the inside, about how Judas is even with him, they both want to change the club and that's why they need help. You tell him about the beating Jesus gave Judas for being with you at your father's command and that's why he walked away. You tell him about the covenant, the "blessing" Jesus gave Judas to be with you when everything calmed down. You tell him that you are confused, hurt and angry. Your feelings for Judas are still too present and too strong and you hate yourself for it because you should be angry with your brother and with him. But you can't. Ana listens to you without saying anything, she just lets you vent and cry as much as you need to. When you're done you're a snotty mess with red, puffy eyes. Ana hugs you warmly and strokes your hair.

"You want my opinion? I think you should send it all to hell. If it's true that Judas still wants to be with you, why not have fun? I think I told you that before and I'll tell you again. Have fun, he's been having fun out there no matter how much he says he loves you..."

"Well it's not like I've been in a convent either..."

"No, but I'm sure he turns you on quite a bit more." She smiles wiggling her eyebrows, you laugh and run your hands over your face and nod.

"I guess you're right... sorry for just popping in like that it's just... I needed to talk to someone."

"Hey don't apologize to me. We've been friends for many years, if you didn't tell me these things I'd be offended."

You look at her again gratefully and consider what she has told you. It could be good, remembering those moments with Judas, with Norman, when you were together. However you're not entirely sure if you could handle it. You need to think it through. The rest of the day you spend together, you watch a movie, you talk about nothing in particular, Ana tells you how things are going with John, something that makes you happy and you enjoy the fact that they are doing well. Afterwards you go out and have some fun, girls' night out and your mind wanders a bit and everything seems to weigh a little less. The rest of the night you forget about everything.

A few days pass after the meeting that the club had with Sons of Anarchy, At first it's awkward for you to run into Jax around the club, but the blond seems fun. On one of those afternoons when you're in your office, Jax walks into your office surprising you, there's a soft, mischievous smile on his face as he nods at you.

"May I?"

"Yeah, sure, come on in." You smile setting the ledgers aside. The blond closes the door behind himself and advances to your desk. "Is something wrong?"

"I wanted to apologize, Jesus told me what's going on between you and Judas." You look at him in surprise and lower your head feeling your cheeks redden a little.

"You don't have to apologize, there's nothing going on between him and me.... Not anymore, it happened a long time ago and now things are .... complicated." You sigh heavily because this topic is starting to wear on you. "But I do want to ask you something, did something happen between us the other night, why did you want me to be part of the deal?" You look at him confused and he smiles in amusement with a shrug.

"I thought it would sound more interesting if I wanted to have you in my gang, which your father wouldn't hesitate to agree to on those terms, Clay was looking forward to it too, but I didn't expect your guard dog to interfere."

"I'm sorry... And he's not my guard dog..." You try to justify Judas and see the blond's smirk, you roll your eyes and shake your head. "Whatever... And what about the other thing?"

"No, nothing happened, not out of desire I have to say, you have an impressive alcohol resistance, but you fell asleep at the bar like a baby and that guy.... Andy, took you to the room and politely told me to stay still or he'd blow my balls off."

"Yeah... Sounds like Andy, but more British." You joke and he laughs with you nodding his head. "Sorry..." You apologize anyway and he shrugs.

"There's nothing to forgive, I doubt the night would have ended like that, it sounds to me like that guy, he's more in your head than you want to admit."

You lower your gaze at that and feel your cheeks burn as your pulse quickens, he doesn't know you two at all and yet he knew how to read you perfectly. You feel him move again to get closer to you, but then the door opens, Jesus and his companions appear through the door and suddenly the atmosphere becomes rarefied. Mentally you hope that no one misunderstands the situation.

"You've come up early for the meeting" John comments with a menacing tone in his voice.

"I had some things to work out with your Sister." He says with a shrug and leans over giving you a kiss on the cheek, you redden and out of the corner of your eye you see Judas frown hard. Great.

The meeting is only with some members of the gang, they have tricked the old bosses to show him the district and how they work there to try to convince them in the union of both gangs. What they agree to is irrelevant, what really matters to Jesus is that Jax agrees to their terms and conditions, that his people support the move and prevail over the old blood.They still have a lot of things to work out to help them with their gang problems. Jax seems to be trying to do the same thing with his gang as Jesus did in the 12 Apostles, but Clay isn't making it easy for him either; the old blood relies on the old ways, on what kept them all safe, risking his people trying to legalize everything seems like a joke, which should be a good thing for everyone, apparently it's fucking crazy.

You haven't had a moment to talk with Judas again, he's busy with the club and his gallery, Mingus tells you he's getting to the apartment pretty late, exhausted, but he seems happy, surely the pictures are selling well and that future he so longs for his son is closer. You too have been avoiding him locked up in the office, at work or at home, there was always some excuse not to be too close to the club when all your brother's men were there.

However Ana's words keep echoing in your head "have fun" she had told you that day when you arrived full of snot and your eyes swollen from crying so much, like a damn baby. Your feelings towards Judas, towards Norman, have not changed, you know it is something difficult to happen, you have even been in love with him all your life, but the pain of deceit and lies is still too present in you, they do not let you take the step you would like, or at least try.

You sigh because you don't really know how you got here. The night before you had a shift at the hospital, you slept all day today and you were like a damn owl on the couch at home not knowing what to do. You've changed shifts with Ana so you couldn't meet up with her to go to the club to drink and play some pool. You were face down on the couch, staring at nothing when you decided to take a shower, put on something nice and go for a walk. What you didn't expect was that your feet, shod in nice, comfortable black booties, would carry you to the door of Norman's gallery. You tremble shifting your weight from one foot to the other undecided, you don't know if he might be there, you don't know if you are able to face him or you will just turn around and go home. You swallow saliva releasing your hair, arranging it on your shoulders and you enter, maybe you are not as elegant as the last time you were there, but the young woman who is at the door controlling the entrance and exit doesn't seem to care, she smiles at you and you get lost among the pictures. Many have been sold, which makes you happy, being replaced by more extravagant ones, by casual moments and some new ones of Norman with Mingus, where you never see anyone's face, but you recognize them. You're curious if there are any new photos of you, but you find nothing. It's a little disappointing, your smile weakens a little, when you feel your shoulder being tapped. Your whole body tenses up believing that Judas has discovered you and you have no good excuse to explain how you got there. However when you turn around you sigh in relief to discover that it is the same young woman who was at the entrance. You look at her in confusion and she seems a little nervous.

"Mr. Reedus didn't warn us that you would be here by before the opening." She says and you frown.

"He didn’t know I was coming...what opening?"

"He's opened another room in the gallery, it's a new exhibition." She seems hesitant, as if she's telling you something you weren't supposed to know, at least not at the moment. You start to get pissed off at all the secrets Judas is having with you, as if you have no say in it.

"Can I see it? I won't say anything to Ju... to Norman." You tell her rectifying his name at the last moment. "I'd love to see what he's doing, he said something about some new pictures, but he never tells me anything." You feign an innocent pout and the young woman seems to take pity on you.

The two of you walk to one of the rooms in the gallery that you hadn't seen before, it's all dark but you see a huge sign that says "The Judas’ secret, new opening " which makes your confusion and curiosity increase. The girl at the entrance turns on the light so that the room is illuminated and leaves you there to return to her work. You hesitate for a moment, reading once again the sign at the entrance " The Judas’ secret ", take a deep breath and enter the room. You are petrified when you discover what the theme is about. They are pictures of you. All of them. You should feel strange, you should feel uncomfortable and even be angry with him for exposing you like this without your permission, but you can't. They're not just pictures of you. They are not only photos of you alone, but moments, memories, moments with him, as always your faces are hidden by something, a hand, hair, blurred when Judas edited them, but you recognized the places, that precise moment came back to your memory. There are many of your relationship, when you escaped from the club, when you got lost, when you hid in his apartment and the nights turned into day and you kept enjoying each other. It isn’t a finished room, as the girl told you, there are things missing, you see the holes, you see the plaques but not the images. You walk around the room stopping at some images that are more recent. You are alone, distracted, observing the nothingness, smiling, talking with the boys, enjoying the company, you are with Mingus, taking care of the child, playing with him, enjoying his presence. Judas has never stopped looking for you, never stopped having an eye on you. It's something that these photos show you and you feel it tighten in your chest. You stop in front of one in particular. You are asleep on your desk, with the club's account books on the table and serving you as a pillow, your face is relaxed, you are in a deep sleep and on your back, covering you like a blanket, you are wearing the club's Judas vest, but that's not what catches your attention, behind you, blurred because the target of the photo was really you, is him, sitting on the couch in the office, quiet, with his elbows on his knees, one hand on his chin and his eyes on you, watching over you, protecting you without you being aware of it.

Another photo catches your attention much more strongly than the previous one, located next to the one you just saw. Your body shudders and memories flood you for an instant. The image projects your hands, you are holding hands, your fingers intertwined and on your ring finger rests a plastic ring. It's stupid, but for you it meant a promise.

You remember that day, Judas had returned from a mission after two weeks out of town. You arrived at his apartment that night, sneaking out of your parents' house like you used to do. When you entered the house and greeted Eye you went straight to meet Norman who was already waiting for you with dinner ready. It was an intense night, it had been a long two weeks for you and seeing the man again had ignited a flame inside you wanting to devour him completely. Lying on the couch, you were caressing Jude's chest with affection when the man looked at you holding your hand in his.

"Marry me." He asked sliding the plastic ring from one of the bottles down your finger. Your chest squeezed at that moment and you hugged him crying on his shoulder.

"Yes..."

After that pretending you had no feelings for him when you were with the rest of the band was hard, you just wished you were coming of age so you could be with Judas in a formal way at last, but that never happened. A few months later the man came back from his longest mission with the gang and with that woman under his arm. Your heart broke into a thousand pieces as Judas stopped addressing you, there was always someone in the way, he never had a moment alone for you to explain what had happened. Little by little you began to build a wall over your heart so that the pain would disappear and when The Father gave the news that she was pregnant, the walls became stronger.

But now...

You leave the gallery with a thousand thoughts in your mind, you feel agitated, confused and too eager to scream. Your life was so much easier before, how had it suddenly become so complicated? You walk with your hands under your armpits feeling the cold of the night, you should go home and stop thinking about everything, however your feet have taken a different direction, but first you will buy some dinner.

Judas is concentrating on his computer, he’s a little late with the new exhibition he has planned, he doesn't have too much material, there are many of them that he wants to keep just for himself, so choosing is being a real odyssey. He rubs his chin with some despair and sighs as his brain collapses once again. It's too late. Another day will follow. He turns off the computer running his hands over his face and hair leaning back in his chair. He hears Mingus laughing in the living room of the huge apartment and smiles, maybe enjoy a little of the small clear his mind and, for another day, make his work easier. He leaves his small office turning off the light and closing the door, it is one of the only places in the house that Mingus and Eye in the Dark are totally forbidden to enter. He heads into the living room to discover his little boy playing with the cat that has hidden under the side table and attacks his feet every time he walks past. Eye is gentle with the boy, not using his claws to catch him, stretching out his paws and swiping at his feet when he detects them, but not intending to hurt him. Mingus throws himself on the carpet and scares the little black cat who runs off into the rooms, Mingus goes after him without thinking. Judas opens his mouth to tell the little guy to calm down a bit when there is a knock at the door.

He frowns slightly and looks at the clock, it's too late to expect any visitors. He stands in the middle of the hallway and checks his phone. He doesn't have any messages or calls from his brothers at the club, so it must not be them. He walks slowly when he hears another call, next to the door he has a small cabinet where he leaves his keys, he slowly opens the drawer trying not to make noise and takes out a gun, places the barrel against the door and looks through the peephole. He is petrified to discover who is on the other side. He quickly puts the gun back in the drawer and yanks open the door.

"What…?" The surprise is more than evident in his voice. You stand there, head bowed holding a paper bag with a few tokens of takeout. His brow furrows because he doesn't understand anything.

"Hello..." You mutter daring to raise your head at last to face him. You're dead embarrassed, you've been debating for half an hour whether to go up or not, you've called the elevator two or three times and fled the first two when the doors opened before you. Yet now you're there and you don't even know what to say. "Are you hungry? I brought some dinner..." It's a start though you know Judas isn't expecting that answer, though he hasn't asked you the question either. You see him bite his thumbnail for a second before letting go of the door and stepping aside.

"Sure, come in."

"Is Mingus in?"

"Sure, where do you want him to be?" you know he doesn't mean to sound annoyed with you, it's just something so obvious that father and son should be together that he seems to be hurt by your hesitation.

"No, sorry, you're right." You shake your head. "I had a late shift last night and my brain cells haven't yet..." You try to justify yourself.

"Is that why you're here?" Curiosity is now evident in him. You grab your bags and make your way to the kitchen, you know that damn place like it was your own home. Maybe one day it was. You look around, not much has changed, if you discover any renovations in the living room, it's a little smaller, it looks like he's expanded the terrace, probably so he can play with Mingus there on nice days in New York, he still has plenty and plenty of room.

You both enter the kitchen. Judas looks curiously at the bags of food and takes out the Chinese food you ordered, checking the tupperware. He smiles. He seems satisfied with the choice you made when ordering. It's not like it's the first time you've done it, to tell you the truth, this way you had an advantage. You don't quite know what to say, you know that Judas has left a question up in the air, that he hasn't insisted on it, but he's waiting for you to answer. You twitch nervously, ready to open your mouth, when your body lurches forward with a small tackle. You gasp in surprise, eyes wide, look down and see Mingus clutching at your legs like a burning nail.

"Auntie!" he shouts with joy and you feel him squeeze you a little tighter. You smile and stroke his blond hair. In the position he's holding you you can't turn around and hug him back, you have to wait for him to pull away. Out of the corner of your eye you spot Judas on the other side of the counter, leaning with his hands on the edge of the counter, tensing his arms, squaring his broad shoulders, he looks at you with a soft smile that rubs off on you. "You came!" he releases you at last, and you are able to bend down and hug him. "Dad said you'd come to see us when you’ll be less busy." He smiles broadly and your heart skips a beat.

"Hey champ, sorry I took so long, I've been a little... busy, yeah." You don't know how to justify yourself to him, in theory fooling the little guy should be easier, but when you look at him you are unable to. "But I'm here now, and I've brought dinner."

"Actually, Mingus has already had dinner." You hear Judas' voice on the other end and slowly you sit up to look at him. His little smile is now twisted and mocking. "You always over ask, never learn." He tells you and you know he's joking. It has always happened to you, it's true. Whenever you ordered takeout you would always repeat the leftovers the next day, at first it was a little frustrating, then you started to see it as a huge advantage.

"Whatever's left over for tomorrow." You say without being too aware of what that means, however Judas is, and his pupils dilate for a moment.

"Sure..." His voice sounds deeper, like a growl, but you don't pick up on it. Mingus has captured much of your attention. He talks non-stop, telling you about everything you've missed those days you've been "busy " he tells you about school, his homework, the trips to the club, his evenings at Andy's house playing with his kids, he tells you that his father has also been very busy those days and finally he tells you about his little adventures with Eye. You laugh about it all and feel a little sorry for the cat. Eye has always been a bit wild, he doesn't tolerate human petting too much, he has always preferred Judas to you and now he even seems to be more protective of the little guy. "Come on, Mingus." Again Judas' voice brings you out of your thoughts. "It's time to go to bed."

"What, but auntie just got here!" He pouts enormously. "And I'm not sleepy!"

"Of course you are." The man smiles as he watches him rub his eyes trying to stay awake. "Eye is already waiting for you in bed and you know it, plus you have school tomorrow."

"But..." He turns to you, looking for support and you look at him apologetically.

"I'm sorry, kiddo, but your father is right. I promise you that another day I will come earlier and we can play as much as you want." You tell him and he seems quite happy with this, Mingus yawns loudly and Judas comes to his rescue by taking him in his arms, the little boy leans against his chest, all the energy he had playing with Eye is gone in a flash. Judas looks at you and he walks down the corridor with the child in his arms. You hesitate for a second and follow him down the hallway a few steps behind. Judas enters the little boy's room, decorated to perfection, with various toys scattered everywhere and a bed decorated with superhero sheets. You stand in the doorway of the room watching as Judas lays the little boy on the bed, tucks him in and kisses his forehead lovingly. Mingus is a bit of a nag and looks up at you. It's obvious he expects you to say goodnight too. You smile and approach the boy as his father steps aside. You kiss him on the cheek and wish him good night. The two of you leave the room as the little boy falls asleep.

You two return to the kitchen. You don't open your mouths, there is a strange atmosphere, to be honest you didn't expect to be alone with him so soon, you would have liked to enjoy Mingus a little longer but you were too late. You help Judas place the dinner things on the side table next to the sofa. You unfold it and sit down on the comfortable sofa. Your back seems to remember its comfort because suddenly your body relaxes and your mind regales you with various memories of everything that couch has been through and seen. Judas' gasps and moans dull your ears and your body shudders as you let the memories wash over you. Judas next to you passes you one of the tuppers of Chinese food and with trembling hands you pick it up putting some on your plate. He eats, for a few minutes, in silence, but he is a nervous and overly curious person and for you to be there, without saying anything, as if it were part of the daily plan. Like a routine. He drops his silverware and turns to look at you as he rubs his chin with his hand and then rests it there, still looking at you.

"Are you going to tell me at some point what's going on?" he finally speaks and you stop eating too.

"At some point..." You agree without daring to look at him.

"Today? Or will you wait for any other opportunity to run away?" there's irony in his voice, you can see he's not well either, after the conversation in the office and him revealing to you that you belonged to him things had become tense at the club and you avoiding him doesn't help either.

"Don't talk to me like that..." You sigh setting your silverware down on your plate and shake your head. "I don't know what I'm doing here..." You say at last. His gaze is locked on you, much more intense than before and it makes you nervous. "I've been thinking about you since that day in the office... how I should feel..."

"Have you figured it out?" he asks patiently, turns his body slightly towards you, resting an elbow on the back of the couch.

"No, but..." You sigh and dare to look at him. "I guess that's why I'm here, I... I was at home not knowing what to do, I went outside and started walking... I got to the gallery." You look at him again and see him tense his jaw slightly, biting his lip nervously. "I saw the exhibition... the new one" You whisper quietly, you appreciate how his body tenses, but he still doesn't change his gesture. You can see his pupils dilate and the blue color of his eyes take on an electric hue. Dangerous.

"Have you seen it?" he asks, his voice low, with a growl.

"Yes... I didn't know... I didn't think..."

"What? Say it, you didn't believe, what, that I was serious?" He sounds angry, growls like a wounded animal, but his gesture remains calm, controlling. "I've always been there, for you, I've always watched over you. I'm not going to justify what I did, because I can't, because I was stupid, but within that; I never stopped caring about you. I couldn't be with you, I couldn't make a false step. Anything that would cause your father to find out I was seeing you again would mean the end. He would have done anything to keep you away. He would have taken you away, as far away from me as possible, he would have killed me and if he didn't succeed, I would have gone crazy trying to find out where he had hidden you."

"You could have told me..."

"Don't you listen to me? I couldn't risk you, I couldn't just walk up and talk to you, it wasn't that simple. I have let my guard down now that Jesus is reasserting his power in the club. Your Father is old and growing weaker every day. I have no love for him and I truly hope he dies suffering, but when that happens, I can claim you." He said releasing air forcefully through his nose, like a bull.

"I'm not an object you can reserve in a store, you know, I'm a person, I have my own thoughts, I make my own decisions, I have an opinion about this... You can't expect me to wait until..." You fall silent and lower your head in pain, scared to death, but mostly ashamed.

"You can't wait for what?" He calls out to you, suddenly his voice sounds terribly close, his warm breath vibrates against your head. "Look at me." It's a command dragged out in a thick gasp. Slowly you lift your head to look at him, his breath is ragged, it runs all over your face and your noses collide. "Can't you wait, for what?" he insists.

"For you to claim me... I've been waiting too long for you; I can't take it anymore.”

His mouth crashes against yours. It is violent, desperate, his mouth encompasses and demands upon yours, his tongue bursts inside your mouth and tangles with your own tongue. His hand closes tightly on the back of your neck, pulls at your hair and a moan escapes you. There is no gentleness, at least not now. Judas' free hand tightens on your thigh and moves up to your waist to press your body as close to his as possible. As if he wants to melt into you. His mouth mistreats yours, kisses you desperately, bites your lips leaving them red and swollen. But you don't care, you need more. When you are able to reciprocate you wrap your arms around his neck to kiss him intensely, panting against his mouth for some air, but he gives you no respite. The food has clearly taken a back seat, as has your conversation. Judas pulls you up to straddle his waist. You settle in by giving the table a little kick, it's too close to your wiggle room, but right now neither of you seem to care that something might end up in the dream and stain the carpet. There will be time for that.

You pull away from Judas' mouth at last, he goes back on the attack but you bite the top of his ear and he stops, his hands tightening on your waist. You gasp at the feel of him, you trap his lobe between your lips giving him a little tug, he grunts as you move down to his neck, you kiss and bite his skin. You sit on his lap and move against him, causing some friction between the two of you, hearing him let out a longer gasp. His hands move from your waist to your booties yanking them off, one of them hits the table and the plate jumps, but stays in place. Judas moves his hands up again, unloads one of his hands on your buttock and you groan at the sensation of discomfort that has ruffled your hair. He repeats the action, but this time, after the spanking, he grabs your cheek and you moan louder into his ear.

"Calm down, girl." He says against your lips. "We don't want to wake Mingus..." You gasp and shake your head, look up at him and kiss him biting his lip.

"Let's go to bed..." You whisper in his ear and before you can even move, he grabs your thighs and stands up with you on top of him. You can't help but let out a gasp of surprise holding tightly to his shoulders, you feel him laugh and you bite his ear again. He stops in the hallway pinning you against the wall.

"Don't do that..." He growls glaring at you. The shove against the wall has knocked the wind out of you, but you recover enough to grin mischievously at him.

"Why, are you just not able to control yourself, have you gotten too old?" You provoke him and you can see his gaze darken once again, however this time you feel some fear as he pushes you away from the wall.

"You're going to regret that." He assures you.

You enter the room, he releases you long enough to turn and close the door. You back away, trying to put some control in the situation, but it's clear that your comment has touched his pride more than you expected. He moves towards you, like an animal surveying its prey, pupils dilated, his blue color has turned dark, electric, he has squared his back and shoulders and surprisingly looks much larger, he pulls his arms back to pull his t-shirt over his head and drops it to the floor. You shiver at the image before you and unconsciously squeeze your legs together. Judas senses this and smiles, licking his lips as he continues to move closer to you. Your legs crash against the mattress and before you can pull away, Judas has laid you down on the mattress, getting on top of you. He kisses you, his mouth dominating yours, leaving your lips red and swollen again, he moves down your neck, licks and bites the skin under your ear knowing that for you it is an extremely sensitive area, you throw your head back unable to hold back a moan. You wrap your arms around his neck pulling his hair slightly, but Judas pulls away holding you by the wrists, putting them above your head.

"Is it that you can't resist touching me, little girl?" he says wryly and you smile defiantly. "Are you like a desperate old woman?" He finishes and you can't help but laugh heartily.

Your laughter is cut short by another nibble on your neck, you want to hug him again, but you're not going to give him that satisfaction, you grab the sheets and stretch your neck giving him more space. He goes down slowly, runs his mouth over it, down your collarbone, bites the bone leaving a small mark, goes down a little more and bites again, this time your chest, over the fabric of your t-shirt and over your bra. You smile because he seems really desperate. He pulls your shirt up to pull it over your head and you can see he smiles triumphantly when he discovers that your bra has a front clasp. He unclasps it and yanks it off you. You moan low as his mouth takes over one of your breasts, he licks your nipple, sucks and pinches it with his teeth, you arch at the sensation of pleasure, his free hand catches your other breast massaging it and squeezing the nipple, you moan low and bite your lip trying to control yourself, but he isn’t making it easy for you. You feel him open your legs and place a knee between them, he presses on your center and a shiver of pleasure runs through you at the sensation of pressure against your clit. He pulls away from you, gets up from the bed and pulls your pants down to drop them somewhere in the room, unceremoniously. His own pants go next and you discover to your amusement that he isn’t wearing any underwear. He's at home, why should he wear them? You bite your lip with some need, it's been too long since you've seen him totally naked. You sit on the bed and spread your legs wider, offering yourself. Judas approaches ready to lay you down again, however when he reaches your height, you grab his cock and begin to slowly masturbate him. Judas grunts as he watches you lick your lips before grabbing his erection from the base and taking it into your mouth. You suck and lick his glans taking as much as you can into your mouth. Judas gasps and moans hoarsely holding you by the hair moving his hips slightly against your mouth. You relax your throat and hold onto his waist feeling him push into your mouth, not too hard, not too deep. You feel him swell and get even harder with each suck with each thrust. He pulls away from you when he feels he's ready and lays you back down on the bed. He kneels in front of you taking off your last remaining garment. He spreads your legs apart and sinks his head between them. You arch up on the mattress feeling his tongue run all over your sex, as his fingers spread your wet folds and he slips a finger in without getting too much resistance. You gasp and moan as his mouth closes around your clit, he licks and sucks combined with his fingers that keep moving inside you. You move your hips not knowing whether to push against his mouth or fuck yourself on his fingers. You feel like your head is going to explode with pleasure, Judas holds you back with his free hand so you can't move. However you can't hold on much longer, his mouth on your sensitive muscle is ravaging your whole body, you feel the pleasure bursting in your lower abdomen expanding to the rest of your body, you moan loudly and shudder against his fingers, which he doesn't stop moving at any moment, feeling the spasms of your body due to the orgasm. You are still trembling when you feel the absence of his fingers inside you. You try to focus your gaze to see him lying on top of you. He holds your legs below your knees and guiding his cock to your entrance, he rams in one thrust. You cry out, but Judas shuts you up with his own mouth, you feel him snort and pant like an animal. He stands still inside you, you feel him throbbing, how your walls still sensitive from your orgasm clench around him wetting his entire cock, making him slide deeper. You gasp and Judas moans in your ear.

"Fuck... you don't know how much... I missed this..."He gasps, but still doesn't move, he lets you brace your legs against his waist and his hands rest on the mattress to look up at you. "Always so tight for me." He moves slowly, thrusts hard, erratic, you groan and dig your nails into his arms.

"Norman!" You call out to him desperately, wrapping your arms around his shoulders.

"You're mine, little girl." He thrusts hard again and you roll your eyes, that's going to kill you. "Mine..." He growls in your ear.

"I'm yours, Norman..." you assure him and move under his body, you see him bite his lip and his thrusts suddenly take on a faster pace, desperate, pounding mercilessly inside you, deep, and intense. "Oh God, Norman!" you cry out wanting to keep up with his rhythm, tightening around his cock. You hear him moan, hear him curse under his breath. He falls on top of your body, his hands sinking under the mattress to grip your ass and ram so hard you fear he might actually break you in two. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, dig your nails into his back and Judas moans once more in your ear. He tenses suddenly, his fingers squeeze your buttocks tightly and he thrusts one more single time feeling himself spilling inside you as he moans languidly hiding his face in your shoulder trying to catch his breath. You continue to embrace him, your whole body trembles from your own pleasure, your nails loosen his skin and caress the marks you have left. You kiss his cheek, his temple, you kiss his shoulder and his neck and you hear him purr.

"I am yours..." He whispers and you open your eyes wide, smile and hug him tighter against you, if that's possible.

You stay like that for a while, Judas doesn't move from on top of you, you don't mind either because he's not carrying all his weight on you, he's just hugging you, arms resting on both sides of your body, his face hidden in the hollow of your shoulder. He's still inside you, you can feel him slowly losing his strength, but still doesn't pull away. Your arms are still around his shoulders, caressing his hair, damp with sweat. You feel him move, repositioning himself, fitting his legs better under yours that continue to encircle his waist.

"God, you don't know how much I've missed this." He murmurs against your skin, making your hair stand on end.

"Come on, it's not like you haven't fucked the girls at the club."

"It's not the same... I missed being here, like this... inside you." He clarifies and a small laugh escapes you, cut off by a thrust of your hips. You gasp because you're surprised, he's just cummed and you feel him getting hard inside you again. He sits up slightly on top of you, just to look at you. He thrusts inside you again and you arch slightly as you feel him slowly harden, expanding your insides, still sensitive from your orgasm.

You have to admit, you missed him too, in every way, but certainly now what you feel is that you missed his cock. You kiss him eagerly, hold him by the back of the neck so he doesn't pull away and move under his body. You feel him gasp and push a little harder. You moan and arch your back. Your mind takes you back to the old days, when Judas seemed to have no limit and you smile. Maybe calling him old has hurt him more than you expected, but it amuses you.

"I see you missed me too." You hear him gasp while still moving tremendously slow.

"A little." You laugh against his shoulder, but nudge him lightly with your knee in his side.

He watches you bite your lip, he seems to hesitate but carefully pulls out of you joining you a little more, you join him in turn and knock him backwards. Judas lets himself be done without looking away from you, you squeeze his erection in your hand slowly masturbating him, feeling how he recovers all his thickness against your palm. You smile leaning over it ready to put it in your mouth, but he stops you. You look at him blankly, but he gestures for you to come to him. You straddle his waist and he nuzzles your waist.

"Today I just want to feel myself inside you." He growls, holds your cheeks forcing you to lie on top of him to kiss you. You sigh long, settle on top of him and move against him, press his new erection between you and move, exerting pleasurable pressure against your own clit as you moisten his cock with your own fluids, but still not letting it enter you. "Fuck, babe..." He moans low squeezing your ass with both hands.

"You're an impatient." You kiss his chest, move up his neck, bite his lobe, still moving, feeling his fingers crisp more on your skin. "Have you always been like this?"

"You know damn well I am." One of his hands whips you and you moan into his ear getting wet further if that's even possible.

You seek his mouth to kiss him once more, needily, trying to control the situation a little more. Judas reciprocates holding you by the back of the neck so you don't pull away. You bite his lips, lick inside his mouth and pull away, tugging lightly on his lip, hearing him moan low. You sit on top of him and watch him lick your lips, grab his cock and slowly feel him enter you as you sit on his erection. Judas grits his teeth spreading his legs a little apart, settling under your body to help you move, his hands tighten on your waist as he is fully inside you. You moan low and lean back slightly, leaning back on his legs and begin to move slowly. Judas moans low, his hands squeezing and massaging the skin of your hips, but he holds still, letting you take control, at least for now.

Slowly you increase the speed of your hips. Judas' hands hold you tightly, but he can't hold on any longer. He thrusts under your weight, upward, hard, giving you no respite. You cry out in pleasure, arching further over his body, trying to keep up with the cruel rhythm of his thrusts under your body. You both moan as Judas joins in, leaving you both sitting on the mattress, moving intensely, resting your foreheads on each other, feeling your orgasm much closer than either of you expected, feeling the sensation run through your lower abdomen and explode with such force that it takes your breath away. You open your mouth unable to utter a sound the pleasure devouring you from within. Judas rests his head on your chest and his fingers dig into your skin leaving a mark as he cums inside you. You gasp at the sensation of his cum leaking inside you, you hug his shoulders feeling your body still trembling from the violent climax that has enveloped you in a few seconds. Judas’ hands loosen around your waist, just stroking you slowly, from your waist up your back and up your sides. He holds you carefully lying on top of him, you place your legs better on his sides and lean on his chest caressing his arms still around you. You smile because he is still inside you and can feel his cum dripping out of you, completely full. You sigh closing your eyes, your body is exhausted and your head starts to disconnect as you feel Judas’ fingers making soft circles on your back, relaxing in an unexpected way.

"Dad?" You hear on the other side of the door and as it is opened slightly.

"Mingus!" Judas shouts pulling you in, turning with you so that he was hiding your nakedness from the boy, however the door stops and the little boy doesn’t enter. You feel Judas pull out of you and cover you with the sheets as he stands up and pulls on some boxers from his drawer and hurries to the door, opening it just a little.

"What's wrong, champ?" You hear him leave the room and the muffled voice of the boy telling you possibly about some nightmare he's had and why he's gotten up looking for his father. You sigh and feel a small fit of laughter and embarrassment come over you and you pull the covers over your face to muffle the sound of your nervous laughter. Judas walks to his son's room and climbs him into bed and tucks him back in. He has had a rather complicated nightmare and seems quite nervous, Judas comforts him slowly, trying to calm that nervousness by kissing him on the forehead. Slowly Mingus becomes calm, Eye settles down next to him and purrs loudly. Judas smiles and strokes his son's new fur. "Come on, time to sleep again." He tells him and the boy smiles. "But first, you have to promise me one thing, buddy... never come into my room." He asks him, his voice is calm, loving, there's no threat, no anger, he's just asking him. "Will you do me that favor? No matter what you hear. Call me and I'll come get you, okay?"

"Yes, Dad, I'm sorry..."

"Don't be sorry, you haven't done anything wrong." He assures him and kisses him on the cheek. "Good night, buddy, I love you."

"Good night, Daddy." He whispers and settles under the covers. Judas pats Eye in the Dark and making sure once again that the boy is comfortable, he turns off the light and leaves the room.

He stands in the hallway for a moment and then heads back to his room, running his hands over his head, combing his hair back slightly, leaving it even messier than it already is. He enters the room ready to apologize to you but remains silent. You have fallen asleep in his bed, wrapped in his sheets and hugging his pillow you rest peacefully with your breathing steady and your face totally relaxed. He smiles half-sideways closing the door behind him again and walks over to the bed. Trying not to wake you up he lies down next to you and wraps his arms around your body, he pulls you close to his body and you stir a little, settling against him but you don't wake up. Judas kisses you on the head lovingly before resting his chin on your head and closing his eyes, falling asleep shortly afterwards.

The sun wakes you up the next day, you let out a little groan because you feel your body heavy, exhausted, despite having slept like a baby you feel that even your hair hurts. You need a moment to remember where you are, how you got there rather. You are bored at home, you left without a specific direction but you arrived at the Judas gallery, you discovered the new exhibition of the two of you and wanted to go home, however your feet took you to the house you weren't thinking about. You groan low hiding your face in the pillow and the scent of Judas floods your nostrils. You open your eyes at last discovering you are alone in the room. The sun is high so it must be late, you get out of bed feeling your legs tremble a little and you redden realizing why your whole body hurts. You go into Judas' bathroom and take a quick shower, under the water you discover on your skin several reddened marks in the shape of Judas' fingers, you smile and get out when you finish showering.

When you return to the room, Judas is still not there. You open the closet looking for some of the man's clothes and surprise floods you. There are clothes of yours there; neatly folded, laid out and clean, as if they were waiting for you, of course they are clothes from when you were younger and some of those things no longer fit you, but you can't help the surprise turning into a nostalgic smile and your heart gives a strong beat. Judas has always been waiting for you. You take a T-shirt that despite being old is big, you wore it to sleep at that time and now it can serve you, you take some sweatpants that surely when you put them on will surely be above your ankles. You open a drawer inside the closet and you laugh when you discover your underwear, even the panties you threw at him not more than a month ago. You take everything and when you are dressed you get up the courage to leave the room. The house seems quiet, however you hear a soft conversation possibly coming from the kitchen, in the hallway Eye is sitting, watching you, he gets up and approaches you rubbing against your legs, you smile and take him in your arms giving him a kiss on the head feeling that you have missed him more than you thought. You walk with him in your arms to the kitchen where Judas is having breakfast with Mingus who upon seeing you appear through the door is surprised to see you and laughs at the sight of your clothes. Judas turns to see you as well and an amused smile comes across his face as he raises his eyebrows. Your cheeks redden slightly and you shrug your shoulders.

"Good morning." You try to appear natural and walk towards them.

"Good morning, Sleeping Beauty." Judas jokes and gets up from his stool, you freeze because you don't know what he's going to do, however he walks past you, pulls out a cup and pours you a coffee, you breathe easy again, until he hands you the cup and gives you a kiss on the cheek. "Did you sleep well?"

"Y... yes." You stammer reddening, make your coffee to your liking then sit on the free stool next to Judas, Mingus doesn't take his eyes off you and you start to get nervous.

"Did you stay over?" It's an obvious question but you still nod your head. "Where? The guest room..."

"She slept with me, Mingus." Jude explains without cutting himself with a knife and you look at him with wide eyes. He's a five-year-old boy who doesn't understand a lot of things yet, but it's certainly not the best thing he could say to him. The kid can misunderstand things, you guys haven't even talked. You don't even know if you want to.

"Auntie and you...?" He starts with an exaggerated frown and makes a confused grimace. "Are you two together?" And there's the misunderstanding from an innocent, immature mind of a child. You gasp like a fish, you see Judas turn his head towards you, his smile is mocking and amused as he rubs his goatee beard.

"Don't look at me, you brought this on yourself." You say to Judas and watch as he smiles wider and then laughs through his nose. He turns to his son and you see him open his mouth. Unfortunately you have provoked what is to come so you can't stop it in time either.

"Yes, Mingus, we are together." His smile is sincere as much as the boy's surprise, you want to smash the coffee cup over his head, but it's clear he's not finished. "She's my wife, you know what that means? That she's mine, just like I'm hers." Your body shudders at his words, Mingus' confusion is evident, these are terms that such a young child is counted on to understand, but he still smiles because his father does and that means what he's telling him is good. "You can't tell anyone, it's our little secret, the three of us." He continues and Mingus puts his hands to his mouth making it clear that he won't say anything, your heart melts and you feel like hugging the little blondie. "I promise it won't be forever. When the club stabilizes, I'm going to make it formal." This time he's not talking to Mingus, but to you, you turn to look at him and frown slightly.

"We've already talked about this, Judas, and I don't think in front of Mingus..."

"I don't want you to be Judas' wife..." He cuts you off and again you freeze. "I want you to be my wife, mine for real. Of who I really am; Norman Reedus. I want you to call me by my name, like you always did, I want you to come back here, I want you to stay here with me, with us... because that's really where you belong. I love you." Your breath hitches because that overtakes you for a few seconds, it's a statement, a formal statement, Judas, no, Norman is putting his feelings on the table, not caring that Mingus is present, right now he's only looking at you, he's determined, you can see his pupils slightly dilated, serious, ready for whatever it takes, but he needs you by his side, he wants to have you with him, because it's clear that this goes beyond the club, it goes beyond the future he's pursuing for Mingus and apparently it also involves you, him. All three of you. You look at him trying to say something, but you're still totally paralyzed. Norman smiles a little and his hand rests on your cheek, you feel him sweep a tear from your cheek with his thumb, when did you start to cry?

"I love you..." You whisper with a trickle of voice.

You see Norman smile and rest his other hand on your other cheek leaning towards you, leaving a small kiss on your lips. Mingus claps and raises his arms in victory mode and you can't help but laugh. It's so surreal that you don't know if you're really awake or still sleeping. But it feels so good that if it's a dream, you don't want to wake up.

Things will be complicated in the club from now on, you know it, you are aware that there are going to be many changes, that Jesus is going to take his position as president, whether your father likes it or not, but he will not be alone, his people will help him, they will support him, Jax's gang will also be part of the movement, they will attack together against the old school, they don't care what it costs, but they will change their future, for a better one. And you are going to be by his side, because you want that future, you want to be part of the future of the new 12 Apostles, of Norman, of Mingus.

The End

I hope you liked it! Thank you so much for reading!

And other thing... I'm writing a new long story, I'm not really sure when I could post it, I think I want to finish it first... But I don't know... I'm just going to say... WEREWOLVES!

#normanreedusxfemreader

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