#norozogaan

[brownstonearmy]

2021-10-24: The Final Showdown (Part 1)

Sunday September 27 (early afternoon)

Guess who's back from the Nine Hells! That's right, it's your favorite party of adventurers; the real-deal heroes of Brownstone. They come back to town with an entire flock of sheep following behind Lucky. No, we're not calling the other adventurers sheep; they're actual sheep that were summoned by Lucky's wild magic and also they serve as a convenient narrative device indicating that "An Amount Of Time Has Passed." The town is now a scene of destruction and devastation.

Everything is covered in poop that seems seems to be growing and crawling before their very eyes. The Montclare River is now a solid putrid brown. Oh, and the sky is darkening because it's time for the eclipse! As the moon blocks out the sunlight, a blast of necromantic energy radiates through the portal. Looks like someone left the oven on, and it's time for our beloved adventurers to do some heroics to stop the world from burning down!

We jump forward in time a bit with a travel montage. Helicopter shots of the party trekking single file up the mountain, close-ups showing the grim determination on our party's faces. A rousing orchestral score plays in the background, so you know it's epic. And now they go through the portal to their final conflict, where combat has already started?

Already started? Yep! The B-Team is here (plus Anaxilas), waging war against a horde of demons as best they can. The necromantic energy that spilled out of the portal during the eclipse has the same feel as the energy throbbing through the crystal above the tumorous growth in the center of the bowelarium.

Q has one last thing they need to take care of before their untimely demise: change their name one last time. For this most climactic of battles, Q discloses to the party their real name: Jamie Mellerel. Related out-of-character note: the player behind Q/Jamie had established this secret at the very beginning of the campaign and kept this secret for literally the entire campaign specifically for this moment. That's some dedication!

Anyway, Jamie casts true strike on Norozogaan to learn of its defenses and weaknesses, because now is not the time to be taking chances and accidentally healing this demon lord of filth by attacking with the wrong damage type. Speaking of filth... Did you know that the word "filth" is really hard for me to spell today? Because I have literally misspelled it as "filfth" or "filf" every time I have written the word.

But yeah, y'all are here for the combat play by play, not my humorous misspellings. So let's cut to Luck blasting a chaos bolt across the map to protect Hilaria from a mob of maw demons. The damage was going to be acid at first, but it turned into pure force that accelerated the mass of the affected maw demons until they exploded, particle-accelerator style.

Norozogaan has morphed into a what appears to be five separate pseudopods that can move independently of each other. Tweazle busts out the his gift from Asmodeus received for his compassion to the Lord of the Nine Hells: that scroll of Meteor Swarm. Big ol' flaming balls of fire rain down on the floating crystal and the mobs of demons encroaching on the B-team, and finishes off his turn by launching a magic arrow into one of the pseudopods. One of the meteor blasts knocks Anaxilas off a narrow ledge and flings him into corrosive bile at the bottom of the tumor's pit. Das Cornelius (yep, we still got all the Cornelius clones in the fight) smashes his warhammer into the hordes of maw demons. "I am zee popcorn!" he yells as the maw demons explode into viscera.

Norm straps on the wings of flying to rescue Anaxilas, but is hit mid-flight with one of Norozogaan's corrupting acid lashes. Two large tusks suddenly grow from Norm's mouth. The pseudopods merge together and form the version of Norozogaan that the B-team was fighting earlier. Yula unloads on some of the demons with Eldritch Blast, sending one of them toppling over the edge into the river of bile. Die and Deuce Cornelius augment their warhammers with magical effects to lay the hurt on the demons. Lightning Lure even got a moment to tug one of those fiendish creatures to a corrosive death in the pit.

Spleenifer casts Find Greater Steed and Tony Bear Androgen the Pegasus appears. It's time to fly! Meanwhile, Hilaria is running up the slippery stone steps from the lower portions of the bowelarium. She slashes one of the demons in half with her mighty sword before throwing axes at some other nearby demons. Three demons are slaughtered by thrown axes before she even passes by, one demon for every axe thrown.

Norozogaan belches forth a bile blast at Tony Bear in flight, but the attack misses. Large flying ants begin climbing out of cracks in the ground. They zip through the air and then each of the ants lets loose the most heinous fart imaginable. The air quality gets worse in the bowelarium and our heroes have to make a concerted effort to keep fighting in spite of the stink. In case you were wondering, these little buggers are called Flatulants, and yes, I made up and statted a new enemy specifically for that joke.

Jamie absolutely obliterates Norozogaan with vicious mockery, proving once again that words can hurt. Anaxilas climbs the tumor and shoves the floating crystal away. Anaxilas believes the crystal can focus energy that can directly harm Norozogaan's essence, but he's going to need help getting the crystal into position. Lucky teleports herself, Jamie, Tony Bear, and Spleenifer to grab a grab the decanter of endless water and get to safety. She's got a plan, and it's about to go down. Tweazle is sickened by the stench, but manages to summon a water elemental and fend off some more of the maw demons. Melboarne enters the fray behind Tweazle and provides Pumbaa-style combat assistance. Das Cornelius and one of the Minimum Bidets toss a winch down to help lift the crystal out of the pit. Norm slips Anaxilas a potion of growth (no, not that kind of potion) and Anaxilas hulks out. Yula tries to magically hold a monster, but the aura of filth (I MISSPELLED IT AGAIN!) gets the better of Yula's casting. Tony Bear Androgeno and Spleenifer go on an aerial offensive against Norozogaan, and Deuce Cornelius slaps a warding bond on Spleenifer to make sure she doesn't suffer from any ill effects from her mount's extended warranty being expired.

The stench emanating from Norozogaan is overwhelming this close up, and even though Spleenifer has a certain tolerance for stinky things, she's dangerously close to blowing chunks. Lucky's luck rubbed off on her, though, and a flash of genius from one of the other Cornelii kept Spleenifer safe long enough to unleash a divine smite on the foul creature that is Norozogaan. The smack does damage, but Norozogaan is able to mostly shake it off and retaliates with a warping acid lash against Yula.

Yula ends up sprouting a pair of wings and gains a flying speed. But you wanna know the even weirder part about those wings? They're both feathery and leathery. In the sense that all the feathers on the wings are actually made of pieces of feather-shaped leather. Sorry, going off on cool tangents again. Anyway, Hilaria is still cleaving her way through demons to reunite with Lucky. You'd think those demons would learn by now to not mess with the lady carrying the sword and axes, but alas, the educational opportunities for demons appear to be less than adequate when it comes to addressing those concepts. More Flatulants emerge from the ground and fart, poisoning the air further. It's getting almost to the point of suffocation here, but it doesn't seem to bother Norozogaan. The demon lashes out a lot, but ultimately whiffs all of the attacks. Lucky activates The Plan.

She triggers a wild magic surge that grants her +1 temporary hit points and puts an arrow over Lucky's head that always points to the left, then casts Time Stop. Now she's got time stopped for three turns. She casts wall of stone to make a wide and flat bridge that covers up the holes the Flatulants are coming out of, unstoppers the decanter of endless water and sets it to Geyser Mode aimed at some of the precariously-positioned trash mobs, and finally casts Mass Suggestion on all the remaining enemies with the command phrase "Clean up." All the remaining minions start tidying up, because a clean bowelarium is a happy bowelarium. Or something.

Tweazle unleashes a steel wind strike, zipping around the map like a gosh-danged anime ninja and slashes through a whole bunch of enemies. Melboarne charges at one of the demons and kills it, but Norozogaan is still standing and unaffected by the suggestion. How will they defeat the demon lord? Stay tuned next time for the thrilling conclusion!

[brownstonearmy]

2021-10-17: The B-Team Tactical Strike

Sunday September 27 (midmorning)

The B-Team is back in action on the day of the eclipse that is foretold to herald the rise of Norozogaan. Hilaria, Yula and Cornelius are present and accounted for, though Cornelius is more present and accounted for than the other two members of the party. You see, Cornelius went to Miss Mavis for a little magical recuperation from the corn curse, but it turned out to be something that was slightly beyond the abilities of the stalwart proprietor of Antiquities and Iniquities. Cornelius ended up split into three different versions of himself, all corn-based. So we've got three Corneliuses (Cornelii?) in the party today. To keep track of them, they adopted different prefixes to names: Das, Deuce, and Die (rhymes with 'spree'). As a consequence of Multiple Cornelius Syndrome, Maximum Bidet was scavenged for parts and now there are three smaller porcelain golems, each named Minimum Bidet.

But I digress! While the party is trying to rustle up some allies, Barry Astorio shows up outside SHART HQ. He tells the party that he's been living a lie and that he wishes to redeem himself by being on the right side of history for once. Barry Astorio confesses to being Anaxilas in disguise, and even takes off his shirt to prove his point. The party feigns surprise at this plot development as Anaxilas announces a plan to enter through the portal to Norozogaan's lair and defeat the foul demon or die trying. And since the party is made up of some relatively potent warriors who have not succumbed to the stupid juice, he asks the party for assistance in this mission that they almost assuredly won't come back from.

It is decided that the party will help Anaxilas in his quest, though Yula's help is contingent on being able to book a romantic evening with Norbert, Anaxilas's husband. It's not exactly the kind of terms he was hoping for, though the possibility of success is remote enough that he agrees to not stand in the way of Yula's advances should the party succeeds. Anaxilas refuses to consent on Norbert's behalf, because well... That just opens up a whole 'nother can of worms about relationship topics that we won't touch on here. But the deal is reached, pending Norbert's future consent for "companionship" with Yula. The rest of the party is fine with material wealth and stuff as a reward, you know, as adventurers are apt to do.

The party will reconvene in an hour to say farewells, get final affairs in order, and also buy adventuring gear. Hilaria makes some sensible preparations for combat readiness like sharpening blades and Yula does nothing for the hour because other people will probably take care of all those pesky details that servants are hired for. The Cornelii tinker with their machines and have an extended debate about the likely reproductive behaviors of corn-based Cornelii. They eventually determine that the most likely method of Cornelius reproduction is asexually via corn stalks (don't question their wisdom, please, because they will draw charts and diagrams and you do not want to see the cross-section of an intranodal germination meniscus).

Once the preparations are complete, everyone sets out for the pass in the mountains that look like a butt: Mount Mensdover and Mount Densmover. The gnomes named the mountains as a prank to make the surface-dwellers sound silly and confused, so the sooner we all accept that, the sooner we can get on the road. Got it? Good.

The journey to the mountain is uneventful, though as the party nears the base of the mountains, some sort of encampment is spotted. Yula flies into the sky to investigate because walking is for weak people and people who can't afford to be carried. The flight reveals some unpleasant reconnaissance: five fiends are readying catapults full of filth, and the mountain streams that normally flow into the Montclare River appear to be dammed and polluted with stuff that's probably not Ovaltine. But Yula's presence in the sky is soon detected, and the devil is hit by a filthy payload from one of the catapults.

Deuce Cornelius casts warding bond on all his fellow corns and prepares for battle. Yula understands some of the shouting from the fiends at the catapult, and they're shouting "unleash the dam!" in Abyssal. This information gets relayed to the party in languages that the rest of the members can actually understand. The stream is loosed from its confinements and a torrent of disgusting liquid races toward the party.

Hilaria grabs a nearby boulder and braces herself behind it, diverting the stream around the boulder. The Cornelii collaborate together as only magical corn clones can and use their respective flashes of genius to help the other corns avoid a terrible fate in the filthy water. Deuce Cornelius also casts an aura of vitality around Yula to take some of the sting off the catapult hit, and readies Longstrider to cast on himself, Hilaria, and Yula.

From Hilaria's vantage point behind the boulder she yells to the demons "COME DOWN HERE AND FIGHT ME HONORABLY!" And Hilaria's skill at taunting combatants in the gladiatorial ring comes in handy, because one of those demons rushes down the mountain and lunges at her with its gross and abominable turdy claws. Hilaria responds to the threat with a swing of her mighty sword. "My claws are bigger," she says as she cleaves into the demon.

Das Cornelius is lagging behind on the ascent, but he mounts Minimum Bidet and casts Jump on it, allowing him to ascend the mountain quickly. As soon as the party reaches melee range for the demon encampment, two of the demons jump into the portal to warn whatever is on the other side. Die Cornelius casts Lightning Lure and drags one of the fiends toward him, while Yula blasts out an upcast Scorching Ray that sends six rays at the demons.

Anaxilas manages to kill one of the demons, but one of the shadow tendrils guarding to portal slams into the ground and knocking Anaxilas prone. One of the other demons manages to grapple Yula in its turdy tail, but Die Cornelius uses Booming Blade to kill the grappler. Hilaria attacks one of the tendrils, but that only seems to make it angrier. It starts flailing its tendrils around, trying to grapple anything that it can. The Cornelii collective deploy their respective Minimum Bidets in the tendril attack to draw some of the fire away from the party. Die Cornelius and Anaxilas are pulled into the portal by the tendrils. Deuce Cornelius pops off a bunch of corn kernels from his body and summons a barrage against the opponents. In a show of corn-solidarity, Das Cornelius yells "Von Tinkelvasser!" and runs into the portal. Deuce Cornelius follows on his Minimum Bidet moments later. Hilaria is the last one to enter the portal, doing so only after making sure everything is suitably dead.

On the other side of the portal is the foul lair of Norozogaan: the Bowelarium. It has all the decorative sensibilities of a cancerous colon but none of the charm. The smell's so bad in here that it's hard to breathe. Norozogaan is taunting the party while a giant crystal of some kind floats above a tumorous growth the size of a house.

Norozogaan attempts to cast Imprison Deuce, but the Cornelii are looking out for each other. Die Cornelius prevents it with his flash of insight, while Das Cornelius uses grease to knock Norozogaan prone. The two fiends that made it through the portal sense an opportunity to strike. One attacks Hilaria, but her heavy armor negates all the damage from its strikes. Deuce and Die use warhammers on Norozogaan and the other fiends to wear the enemy down. It is when Hilaria cleaves the last fiend in twain that things take a turn for the EXTRA DRAMATIC. That ugly demon lord announces that the party isn't even facing Norozogaan's true form, and we end on a cliffhanger! How will these heroic adventurers survive? Or will they perish in the attempt? Stay tuned next time for more!