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How can I trust that this is the REAL nort, what if I'M the real nort huh? HUH? 🤨

Only the REAL NORT would survive

- getting poisoned

- getting electrocuted 3x

- getting hit by a car/truck 2x

- getting flattened by a tree

- getting exploded (my microwave twice, my fridge once, and once in chemistry class)

- Getting burnt twice (once by boiling oil, once by hot iron that i roasted over a fire)

- pissing off a cult

- Pissing off a deathrow convict (mafia hire)

- getting arrested

- Fighting a goose, a squirrel, and a delivery robot

AND MORE!!!

CARE TO TAKE YOUR BEST SHOT????? LETS SEE IF YOU SURVIVE!!!!!!!!!

#the talk show #nortfails

Hey Nort! I was on your live the other day, and I happen to hear that you have faced many catastrophes and have survived, like falling off a tree. How can I get plot armor like you?

Oh no no!

A tree fell on ME!

I can see where the mixup is tho lol

#the talk show #nortfails

Nort.. why are you fighting delivery robots…

OKAY.

OKAY SO I ORDERED FOOD AROUND THE EVENING

AND IT WAS PANERA WITH A SMOOTHIE

SO MY ORDER CAME A LITTLE LATE RIGHT BUT DIDNT MIND IT WAS MY FOOD

So i open up the robot, i grab my bag of panera.... and inside the robot there is also just a box of wings and other stuff???

So i'm thinking that it must be doing other rounds of food and i'm not gonna steal someones food so i look around,

no smoothie

So i call in the support team i'm like "hey uh, i didn't get my smoothie. Can i get like a refund?"

so the lady on the other end goes "can you take a picture proving you didn't get it" and i'm like "yeah that makes sense" and i take a picture of the lone panera

she then says "can you take a picture of whats in the robot" i'm like yeah that also makes sense also i got someone else's order??? so i take a picture of that and send it with the panera bag.

She takes like 10 minutes and she's like "can you prove that the smoothie is not inside the paper bag"

NOW I'M LIKE PLEASE REPEAT THAT SENTENCE BUT SLOWER. IF THE SMOOTHIE WAS INSIDE THE PAPER BAG THERE WOULD BE BIGGER ISSUES.

BUT I DONT SAY THAT. I TAKE A PICTURE INSIDE THE BAG AND NOW I'm just trying to prove i didn't get the smoothie i PAID for and ORDERED.

BUT. THE ROBOT STARTS LEAVING AS THIS LADY KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE PROOF

SO I JUST JUMPED INFRONT OF IT

BUT IT KEEPS LEAVING SO I JUMP ON IT

AND IT STARTS MAKING THIS LOUD ASS ALARM NOISE AND EVERYONE IS LOOKING AT ME LIKE IM THE BAD GUY WHO'S ATTACKING A POOR INNOCENT ROBOT BUT IM ACTIVELY GETTING STOLEN FROM BY THIS COMPANY AND I NEED IT TO STAY UNTIL THIS LADY BELIEVES I DIDN'T SHOVE THE SMOOTHIE UP MY ASS SO I CAN GET MY GODDAMN 12 DOLLARS BACK BC MONEY'S TIGHT AND IM IN COLLEGE

AND I JUST WANTED TO EAT!!!!!

#the talk show #nortfails

Hi barbecue sauce, I was going to look for any of your posts mentioning Sheba and I noticed the "nortfails" tag....

Did someone put a curse on you?

These are the most recent ones, and I know for a fact there are way more you haven't posted about (not saying you have to tell us everything)

Are you Okay? Mentality, physically and emotionally?

yea this happens alot LMAO

My friends call unlucky moments [nort]* moments

*they use my real name lol

I have a reputation 🥀🥀🥀

#the talk show #nortfails

Remember gang, if you're ever feeling embarrassed about something, you'll always have this comfort:

At least you're not me.

#nortfails

Dear diary,

NEVERMIND TOMORROW!!

I AM SO PISSED BRO THEY ARE REFUSING TO COMPENSATE MY TICKET

CONTEXT: I AM TAKING A TRAIN TO STAY WITH GHOST FOR LIKE 2 WEEKS OR SO,

WE GOT TO THE TRAIN STATION 30 MINUTES EARLY, AND WE WAITED

AN HOUR PASSES. THE TRAIN HAS NOT ARRIVED. WE FIND OUT ITS DELAYED. IT STAYS AT THE PREVIOUS STATION FOR ANOTHER 30 MINUTES

THEN, WITH NO ANNOUNCEMENT, THE TRAIN COMES IN, STAYS FOR (I'M NOT EXAGGERATING I HAVE SCREENSHOTS OF THIS)

2 MINUTES

ON THE OPPOSITE TRACK OF ME

AND LEAVES WITHOUT ME OR THE REST OF THE PASSENGERS.

JUST MY LUCK.

#the talk show #nortfails #THE TRAIN ESSENTIALLY PASSED US.

Hey gang

I broke my phone ):

This is a random image i pulled off the internet but it looks like this?

So.

#the talk show #motm #nortfails

so are we gonna get a story about the tree or just leaving us to imagination /nf /j

#the talk show #nortfails

Nort.. why are you fighting delivery robots…

OKAY.

OKAY SO I ORDERED FOOD AROUND THE EVENING

AND IT WAS PANERA WITH A SMOOTHIE

SO MY ORDER CAME A LITTLE LATE RIGHT BUT DIDNT MIND IT WAS MY FOOD

So i open up the robot, i grab my bag of panera.... and inside the robot there is also just a box of wings and other stuff???

So i'm thinking that it must be doing other rounds of food and i'm not gonna steal someones food so i look around,

no smoothie

So i call in the support team i'm like "hey uh, i didn't get my smoothie. Can i get like a refund?"

so the lady on the other end goes "can you take a picture proving you didn't get it" and i'm like "yeah that makes sense" and i take a picture of the lone panera

she then says "can you take a picture of whats in the robot" i'm like yeah that also makes sense also i got someone else's order??? so i take a picture of that and send it with the panera bag.

She takes like 10 minutes and she's like "can you prove that the smoothie is not inside the paper bag"

NOW I'M LIKE PLEASE REPEAT THAT SENTENCE BUT SLOWER. IF THE SMOOTHIE WAS INSIDE THE PAPER BAG THERE WOULD BE BIGGER ISSUES.

BUT I DONT SAY THAT. I TAKE A PICTURE INSIDE THE BAG AND NOW I'm just trying to prove i didn't get the smoothie i PAID for and ORDERED.

BUT. THE ROBOT STARTS LEAVING AS THIS LADY KEEPS ASKING FOR MORE PROOF

SO I JUST JUMPED INFRONT OF IT

BUT IT KEEPS LEAVING SO I JUMP ON IT

AND I JUST WANTED TO EAT!!!!!

#the talk show #nortfails

#nortfails

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