#noseriouslyguys

[scatterbraindead]

The titanic

according to my boyfriend and i

Monkey: i like the version where cthulhu actually caused the titanic to sink

Sammie: i like the version where cthulhu made out with jack

Monkey: jack drew a naked picture of chtulhu

Sammie: then cthulhu caught jack making out with someone else and caused the titanic to crash

leaving jack to fend for himself in the cold waters as he surfed back to shore and became one of the only survivors

only to go back years later and eat all of the other survivors

souls

Monkey: then he grew

and opened a portal

Sammie: and within that portal

was his bedroom where he lay at night only to be reminded by the pictures on the wall of the man he once loved

the man who he killed through the conclusions he jumped to (along with many others and a fancy boat)

Sammie: and as cthulhu cries himself to sleep all he can think of is jacks final loving words to him

"OHGOD PLEASE DONT LET ME DIE HERE YOU MONSTER"

~

[quasisuspect]

Anons are saying your straight. They're joking right? :( Because. I mean. Wha. right?

Hahaha. 

I had an Anon yesterday ask if I was gay, bi, or straight, and I replied sarcastically with “100% straight”.  I think I confused some of them. Poor things. 

[quasisuspect]

Your posts are going to make me explode one day. Oye.

I’m sorry! 

[quasisuspect]

Porn on my dash is dangerous. Oh so dangerous. But yummy. So thank you!

You’re very welcome, my friend. 

[quasisuspect]

noseriouslyguys said: Wrong, actually.

Damn it!

[quasisuspect]

1. English isn't my first language 2. I've only had sex with three people 3. I own a herd of goat

You seem pretty young to own your own herd of goat. I’ll go with that one as the lie. 

[quasisuspect]

Let's hug?

Let’s do it. 

[purrpickle]

Write Pepper Potts and Mercedes.

Pepper chewed on her pen. Normally she’d be spending the day with Mr. Stark, but somehow she’d found herself interviewing the new singer Mr. Stark had mentioned his interest in for his upcoming party. He’d wanted an as yet undiscovered talent, and Ms. Mercedes Jones seemed to perfectly fit the bill.

“So,” she smiled at the young woman, “Why do you think we should hire you?”

Mercedes pushed her hair behind her shoulder. “You want the best, right?” she asked, unaffected by Pepper’s gaze, “I’m the best.”

Pepper raised an eyebrow. “That so?”

Still smiling, Mercedes nodded. “Right. Do you need me to demonstrate now?”

Pepper pursed her lips, crossing her arms a second later as she leaned back in her chair. “Hit me.”

And, indeed, Mercedes hit her. Hit her hard. Staring at the young woman, mouth agape as she perfectly handled old-time Motown, Pepper swallowed. “Okay,” she blinked, sitting up straight, pushing the contract across the table to her, “You’ve got the job. Congratulations.”

Mercedes beamed at her, pulling the contract closer to herself. “Great,” she smiled at her, “You won’t be disappointed.”

“No…” Pepper smiled, taking the contract back once she was done, “I don’t think I will.”