#not sae

[sae-something]

🎂 💒 if you want to answer those 😊 From Holly 🐘

I do, thank you so much Holly! 💜

🎂- if you had 3 wishes, what would they be?That it was instantly at least 5 degrees (celcius) less hot, that I had therapy tomorrow (i’m constantly confused and that therapist seemed nice so i need her to help me out here), and that i had actual ice cream in the freezer! (i just have popsicles haha)

💒- which show would you want to live in?It’s hard because most shows are about lots of rough things but I would just want a nice, comfortable life? Maybe new girl? I would also like to live in Friends, but in an updated, modern-times version!

[sae-something]

🍦- what scented candle is your favorite?

either cinnamon or vanilla! ^^ 

[sae-something]

Are you comfortable talking about the things that make you feel different from Sae? Like what are your traits that are different from hers? I know that might feel kind of confronting so if you’re not comfy answering that’s okay! Just curious to get to know YOU better

Ah that’s nice thank you! I feel a lot more relaxed? And so far I haven’t really experienced any really painful emotions (the one that Sae thinks she feels bleeding through from trauma parts I think?). 

Somehow I also feel a bit more confident. For example tomorrow there’s this housewarming of a friend and Sae probably would have gone there even though she didn’t feel like going at all, but I cancelled it. And I do feel twisted about it because I feel a bit guilty, but I can much easier shrug it off as “well, that’s their issue then, because I’m just doing what I want and need”, if that makes sense?

I also really badly want to cut off all the hair but I’m trying not to do that because I think Sae really wouldn’t like it 😂

Oh and something else is that I have a much easier time getting out of bed in the morning! But I’m not entirely sure that’s me, might also just be the extreme heat that makes it absolutely uncomfortable to be in bed for a long time lolsob

Thank you for being so nice!!

[sae-something]

Sweet and pure asks: ✨ 🍼 🍃

Yay, thank you!!

✨- which fictional character (book, show, or movie) do you relate to most?Oof that’s a hard one as I’m so unsure about who I am and I am pretty sure I’m very… new. The only show I’ve watched the last week is OITNB (I started at season 1 lol) and on a humor-level I relate to Nicky a lot. Quick, dark humor with a lot of it aimed at myself, heh. I can’t really come up with anything else rn, sorry! (Although, if we’re looking at OITNB, I feel like Piper in S1 because I feel so new and awkward with the situation I’m in and I feel everyone knows how shit works but I just don’t get it so I gotta fake it)

🍼- what is your favorite memory?Again, I’m gonna grab something very recent because I feel so.. young. So 1,5 week ago I went for a long cycle (35 km) with a friend and that was really nice! We had a break somewhere in the fields and there was a farm that sold fresh apple juice, that was cool. 

🍃- would you rather live in a sea with mermaids or a forest with fairies?Ohh that’s hard!! It’s so hot here now that I just want to be in the water (I also really love that feeling of just being in the water), but fairies interest me much more then mermaids. So if I can mix ‘n match, I’d go for underwater fairies haha!

[sae-something]

so uhh i know,, bad post and should not say this, but gosh darn i wish we had the amnesia and shit!! 

because then i could just fucking deny all of this crap, but know i know the crap because No Amnesia so i cant fucking deny it because not believing the crap instantly means not believing in myself and that just doesnt work?? because clearly im here. and i hate that i have to be sae to be real. I want to be able to be MY NAME AND be real, but that doens’t work. 

so ill just be here being not-sae and trying not to fuck shit up i guess??