#not tmi

[drublaccthorn]

So today I figured out that I supposed to do

This:

Rather than

This :

But i don’t feel comfortable with that so I’m just going to continue my mistake

[ragnor-lives]

Tea!

[aleclightwoodisgay]

hey @full-homo-milk, take your sock puppet account(s) and go smell your own farts, because that's pretty much the correct equivalent to what you're trying to accomplish here. for peace of mind, block this obnoxiously racist and homophobic shitbag.

[aleclightwoodisgay]

could you or your followers give me any advice? i have identified as bi/pan for a long time but recently i think i might be a lesbian? but i'm really not sure and i feel like my sexuality fluctuates and it sucks not having one identity that fits me - and i do kind of want to identify as lesbian but im so worried that im wrong?? ugh

of course! I’ve been in the same situation, so I’d love to help you out. I identified as bi/pan for many years, until i read a lot of stories from other lesbians, and realized I might actually be one too. it can be really hard to tell, because we are taught from birth to think that we are attracted to men, and it’s not as easy as coming out of the womb and going “ah, yes, every man I have ever seen revolts me and there is no doubt I only love women”.

it can be a very long journey. for me, what helped a lot were posts saying that you could be a lesbian. like, if you think you could be a lesbian, explore that! you are in no way harming other lesbians, you are not a fake, you’re not appropriating anything. whether you come to the conclusion that yes, you are a lesbian or not, it harms no one to explore your feelings.

so, after going “wait, am I a lesbian?”, I started asking myself, would I ever want to be with a man? like, even if I’ve found some men physically attractive, even if I like male celebs and characters, how do I feel about the idea of being with a man. and the more I thought about it, I realized I just couldn’t see myself being in a happy relationship with a man, ever. imagining dating a man, sharing my life with them, made me uncomfortable. so that could be a major sign.

not to mention that how someone looks means nothing. there is not even one physical feature that absolutely divides men and women. women can and do come in countless sizes and shapes. women have facial hair, wide shoulders, muscles, body hair, penises, testicles, deep voices, all of that. those are features women have, whether cis or trans, intersex or not intersex. so saying someone can’t be a lesbian because they can find men attractive is implying that women only come in the opposite of chris evans or whatever.

there is no one way to be a lesbian, nor one right way to realize you’re a lesbian. everyone is different. so don’t worry, and take your time. if you feel like you want to identify as a lesbian, and that identity interests you, it’s very possible you could be a lesbian. here are also some posts that might be helpful!

http://treeoflife2011.tumblr.com/post/141011735488

http://homojabi.tumblr.com/post/140134392537/when-i-was-questioning-whether-or-not-i-was-a

http://scabphobic.tumblr.com/post/130281825722/such-a-big-issue-for-why-a-lot-of-lesbians-who

http://taavot.tumblr.com/post/129170813642/a-lot-of-us-talk-about-protecting-questioning-wlw

http://taavot.tumblr.com/post/129173350632/not-enough-people-are-willing-to-talk-about-the

http://sapphicisms.tumblr.com/post/130479294233/i-see-a-lot-of-lesbians-say-that-its-ok-to

[aleclightwoodisgay]

People who wants completely polite super kind answers shouldn't be in this blog. Y'all dragged my ass so much for some of the stuff I sent, but it was actually for the better, as I realized I was being stupid.

😂😂😂

we really aren’t out to be mean to people, for the most part we will explain things in a polite way. if you’re being a jackass, we’ll respond in kind. and unless you are really gross, we aren’t angry with you, really. at most we’re kinda :/ but that happens, everyone fucks up sometimes. I’ve gotten straightened out several times, and I still would rather that someone tell me when I’m being bigoted rather than have them try to ignore it.

so it’s honestly hour every hour here.

[aleclightwoodisgay]

fancysomefairy replied to your post “So I was the anon asking asking about Magnus being gender fluid or...”

Reading this was gross. Blogger, it's sad to read this, you are grossly misinformed about "feelings and thoughts" and i would suggest you do some personal research for the benefit of yourself and others. When someone asks a question, you answer it or don't answer it, the feelings you feel are based on so many things BUT noone can make you feel anything, your feelings are reactions to action. Good luck!

Dear Anon, if you have any questions around gender fluidity or anything of the sort, message me, i will happily help you out, i have some great life experience to share and i also could point you in some wonderful directions for some research you might like. Good Luck!

ex-fucking-scuse me? you know what’s gross? your fucking rude self over here thinking you can fucking tell me how to react to people making me uncomfortable on my fucking blog. I can’t believe you have the nerve to tell me that I am misinformed about how my own fucking feelings work, when you don’t even know what the fuck you are talking about, you absolute clown. no one can make me feel anything? what the fuck. guess love, friendship, and all that are just a fucking fairy tale. I know you’re certainly making me feel things, namely anger.

someone sending us an ask is an action. it affects me. someone being ignorant about my identity affects me. and why the fuck are you addressing the anon as if they asked us help with their gender identity, when they were talking about headcanons about fictional characters. I didn’t know you had such a great deal of life experience with magnus bane’s gender identity, and even research! please tell casserole clam to leak the canon nb magnus bane files for me too since you’re such a helpful person.

eat an entire bag of dog turds and never show your face on our blog again, or you’ll need some good luck.

[aleclightwoodisgay]

Do these people even know what genderfluid means? Magnus NEVER identified as a woman

there might be some confusion with it... I have seen people using it to mean “non-binary” and stuff. and it’s way different to talk about magnus or alec being genderfluid, and them being nonbinary men. since, you know, that’s a thing.

but yeah, genderfluid = a nonbinary person whose gender is fluid and changes between different genders, e.g. man, woman, and agender. nonbinary is the umbrella term for everyone who doesn’t solely id as a man or a woman, for their own reasons.