Oct 11, 2023
I think it's really insane and unfair that there's a certain level of intensity I'm only able to write when I am both physically and mentally unwell... Considering that I enjoy being... well...
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I think it's really insane and unfair that there's a certain level of intensity I'm only able to write when I am both physically and mentally unwell... Considering that I enjoy being... well...
Not Without Trying - Levi Ending
Content: None
Word count: ~ 2,200
Reiner sighed before both of them jumped up, a sizzling sound coming from behind him. Y/N jumped up and grabbed the pot from over the fire, the soup boiling over and spilling onto the floor. She laughed, not sure what else to do.
“I think it’s ready for the vegetables.” She set the pot on the floor and moved over to the table to grab the vegetables and slid them into the pot, moving it closer to the fire. Y/N shifted the bread around and brought one of the smaller ones back over to the table, handing it to Reiner. “Here.”
“Thanks.” He took the bread and sat back in the chair, ripping it in half and handing her one of the halves.
They stayed silent for the majority of the time the food finished cooking. Once it was done, Y/N poured them both a bowl and they sat at the table to eat. Reiner insisted on doing dishes afterwards since she cooked and she sat at the table watching him work.
“When was the last time you washed those pants?” She asked him, noticing the stains of dirt on the sides. Reiner looked down at the stains as he finished rinsing.
“I’m not sure.” He shrugged. “We didn’t have a lot of soap so I didn’t want to use it on clothes in case we needed it for something else.”
“We can always get more soap.” She laughed. “Do you want to change? I can wash them for you.”
“Uh… sure. Let me finish up.” He turned his face to smile at her. Realizing the table was dirty, she moved to the sink and grabbed the rag to wipe down the table.
“When they come back to get us in a couple days, we can worry about not having soap then.” She continued wiping the table.
“What did you say?” Reiner turned around from the dishes he was washing.
“I said we can worry about it then.”
“No, about when we will see them.”
“Oh, in a couple days. It’s nearly been a week already.” She looked at him and he was giving her a look. “…Reiner?”
“Levi told you it would only be a week?”
“Yes…? Levi and everyone else.” Her eyes were narrowing, knowing something was up.
“This is why he said you wouldn’t like it.” Reiner crossed his arms in front of him, leaning his body against the sink. “Reiner, what is going on?” She dropped the towel on the table and walked over to him.
“We’re… um… meaning you and I…” He rubbed his chin, a nervous smile crossing his face. “We’re um… we’re staying here for the remainder of my time.”
[Back when Reiner was in his cell]
“But if she chooses you,” Levi started to repeat his question, “Will you—”
“She doesn’t need to choose me for me to love her or to protect her.” Reiner’s eyes bore into Levi’s, unmoving. “I willprotect her against anyone. Marley, Paradis, you, my own family. I will protect her with everything I am. I broke her heart once and I plan to never let that happen again, even if she never speaks to me.”
“Then I think I have a plan to get you out of this,” he leaned in, “But Y/N isn’t going to like it.”
“Why do you think that?” Reiner looked worried.
“Because she isn’t going to know about it.”
“You’re not going to tell her?” Reiner’s eyes widened. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“It’s the only idea. I’m sure you know things don’t look good for you.”
Reiner nodded, looking down. He knew what was coming. He had already prepared for it, knowing he deserved whatever it was that they would do to him. It confused him why Levi was there, why he was helping him.
“Why do you care?” Reiner looked up at him.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking I care about you because I don’t.”
“Then why are you—”
“Because I can’t stand to see Y/N heartbroken and if something happens to you, she will be.” Levi grabbed the bars in between him and Reiner. “Are you ready to do this or not?”
“I’ve never been able to lie to her,” Reiner confessed.
“You lied about being a fucking titan.”
“That was different.”
“Whatever.” Levi sighed. “You won’t even have to say anything to her. Just avoid talking about it.”
Reiner nodded, worry in his eyes.
“I’m going to get you to one of the scouts safe houses.” Levi swallowed hard, clenching his jaw. “All you have to do is stay there with her.”
“Stay with her?” Reiner’s head shot up. “How are you going to get her to go there without telling her?”
“I will worry about that.”
“That’s not very comforting and I really don’t think she is going to be—”
“Are you changing your mind? You just said you would protect her.” Levi narrowed his eyes, annoyed at Reiner not agreeing to the simplest thing.
“I will protect her.” Reiner became serious. It didn’t matter the plan, Reiner would protect her. “But protecting her from herself is going to be a lot harder when she finds out.”
“She’s not going to fucking find out!” Levi was letting himself get angry. “Just stay with her. Protect her. And make her happy.”
“Okay…Okay.” Reiner sighed, looking down and thinking about how hard it must be for Levi to do this. “How long?”
“What?”
“How long do I stay with her?”
Levi knew the answer to this, but getting himself to say it was a whole other problem. The silence made Reiner look up. Levi was holding onto the metal bars tightly, looking down.
“All the time you have left.”
Y/N was pacing the length of the cabin with her hands on her head, trying her best to hold back tears.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Reiner had watched her stand up from the table her eyes wide. He had been waiting for her to calm down, but it had been ten minutes of her pacing and he wasn’t sure what to do.
“No… No, I’m not okay.” Her hands were shaking. “I am not fucking okay.”
Levi did that. This was his doing. He lied to her. He put on that whole show in his office, treating her like garbage, acting like he no longer cared about her, complained about her ability to handle working with Reiner. All this time, he did that for her. He never bothered asking what she wanted. A small part of her thought that he did all of it because he knew she would choose him.
“Y/N—"
“Reiner! He lied to me!” She looked up at him. There was anger in her eyes, but what showed through the most was the hurt she felt. “This is my life. My choice. He just took it from me… he didn’t even have the decency to tell me the truth.”
Reiner had nothing to say. He just looked at her while she worked through her thoughts. He knew she had the right to be angry and to be as hurt as she was. He warned Levi about this.
“I need to get back to HQ.” She moved to the table quickly, then turned and walked around the cabin, looking for something. “I need to talk to him.”
“How are you going to get back there?” Reiner stood up, following her. “What are you looking for?”
“I don’t know. I just, I need to get there.” She stopped looking, realizing she didn’t know what she was looking for. “I’ll walk if I have to.”
“Walk?! That’s like 50 miles.”
“Then I should get started now.” She sat to put her boots on. He realized that she wasn’t stopping and he grabbed his shoes, pulling them on to go with her.
“What are you doing?” She grabbed her jacket and put it on.
“I’m going with you.”
“You don’t have to.” She felt bad for Reiner. She knew how hard this must be for him, watching her run back to Levi.
“I won’t leave you alone.” His eyebrows were drawn together. “It’s my job to protect you.”
She nodded and he grabbed his jacket from the top drawer of the small dresser next to the bed. He slipped it on and went back to her where they both walked outside. Luckily it was still morning so they could make quite a bit of distance still before it got dark.
They were only walking for less than a minute when Y/N stopped and Reiner stopped, looking at her.
“Can you take me there?” She asked.
“I am.” He was confused. She was looking at him, waiting for him to understand what she meant, but he wasn’t getting it.
“I mean, as your titan.” She explained and his face dropped. “We could get there much faster. In no time honestly.”
He looked at her face. He knew it probably wasn’t the best idea, but he found it so hard to say no to her. The desperate look on her face was killing him. He knew that if the situation was switched, he would want whoever he was with to do anything they could to get him to her. He sighed and nodded slightly.
“Step back a bit.” He moved away from her, taking a deep breath and bring his hand to his lips, biting down. Immediately the yellow sparks of lighting surrounded him until he was transformed.
His titan stood there, breathing heavily. He dropped down to his knees in front of her. The yellow eyes that terrified her that one day months ago, now held a kindness that made her wonder how she wasn’t able to see it before this moment.
Reiner held his hand out to her, his palm up and she climbed onto it. He brought his hand to cup her against his body and started running.
“Then we will need to put together a team.” Hange shuffled through the papers. “Levi, I know you made your suggestion, but I really think we need Y/N—"
There was a knock at the door of the office and the three squad leaders quickly looked back at it. Another quick knock. Miche looked at Hange and Levi, his eyes wide.
“It’s Y/N.” He spoke quietly, standing up and unlocking the door, opening it up.
She stood in the doorway, breathing heavily as her eyes stared at nothing but Levi. She took a step inside and walked over to him, standing in front of his chair. She grabbed the collar of his shirt with both hands and pulled him up, walking him backwards until his back hit the wall. She lifted him up, his hands moving to her forearms to grip her wrists.
“How could you?” She whispered, pain in each word. Reiner appeared in the doorway.
“I’m sorry, I tried to stop her.” Reiner assured, stepping into the room.
“I would argue you didn’t try hard enough.” Levi grumbled, his feet dangling as Y/N held him higher.
“I said, how could you?” Y/N hit him against the wall to emphasize her words. “Did you even like me? Were you thinking about my feelings at all?”
“Of course I did!” He spoke loudly. “Every decision I made was for you!”
“You can’t do things like this to me Levi!” Her eyes started watering, but she held the tears in.
“I just wanted you to be happy.” He moved one of his hands to rub her cheek.
“You made me happy, you idiot!” She shook him against the wall.
“Damn, is this their idea of romantic?” Miche whispered to Hange.
“You may think I’m too emotional or ‘delusional enough to think we would work out’ and maybe I am, but I am not giving up, not without trying my best for us.” Y/N held Levi there.
There was a long moment of her staring at Levi and him staring at her, almost like a silent conversation, but they weren’t conversing at all. Y/N was going to stare at him, holding him there until he knew just how serious she was. After a minute, Levi nodded. It was so small that no one else could see it, but Y/N. As soon as she saw it, she set him down, dropping him to the ground and stepping back.
“I love you.” She pulled him into her and his body was stiff against her, uncomfortable as everyone watched them.
“I love you too.” He whispered back. Y/N laughed at his awkwardness.
Y/N turned around and took her seat at the table, Levi brushed off his pants and sat next to Y/N.
“Well now that we’re all here, we have a plan and we’re going to need your help.” Hange turned to Y/N. Reiner, still in the doorway, started to walk away. “Yours too, Reiner.”
He looked up quickly, confused.
“Take a seat.” Hange motioned to the open chair next to Levi.
Reiner scurried to the open chair and sat down. Levi pulled on his shoulder from behind and whispered to him.
“Thank you for bringing her back to me.” Reiner turned around to look at him and nodded.
“I’ve already made the teams,” Hange continued, “we’re going to the ocean.”
Not Without Trying - Reiner Ending
Content: NSFW, Sex, Oral (f receiving), cream pie, breeding (tiny bit)
Word Count: ~ 1,900
“You’re not leading me on.” He brought his other hand to her other cheek, sliding himself forward until their foreheads were touching. Their lips continued moving closer and pulling away, teetering on the edge of moving further and holding back. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be.”
Reiner pulled her closer, their noses smashed against each other and he lowered his hand to her back, bringing her chest to his as he slid her into his lap. He sighed into her, hot air blowing against each of them as their breathing picked up.
Reiner ran his nose along her cheek, resting his forehead against her chin as she looked up. His breath kissing her neck gave her chills. She moved her hands to his shoulders, leaning back a bit, his breath trailing down to her chest. He rested his head on her chest and closed his eyes, humming against her.
She was smiling to herself. This was nuts. She was nuts. What was she even doing right now? She was holding back, but in that moment, she couldn’t remember why. It wasn’t long ago that she and Reiner were talking about getting married, living in a cabin together and having babies. She opened her eyes and looked around, Reiner resting his head on her shoulder. They were living in the cabin right now. So what if it’s not exactly what she imagined, it was still Reiner and their relationship was nothing if not strange.
He held her hands as he kept his eyes closed. She started laughing, her shoulders shaking, and Reiner sat up to look at her. His cheeks were flushed pink and the corner of his lips quirked up as he watched her laugh louder, throwing her head back. He squeezed her hands tighter wanting to know what was making her laugh that much.
“I’m sorry.” She panted, laughing in between each word. “I’m sorry.”
She waved her hand in front of her, tears squeezing out of her eyes and she snorted, laughing harder and Reiner started chuckling at her, his heart racing at how cute she was. His hands were cradling her butt while she sat on his lap and he pulled her closer, smiling, closing his eyes as he listened to the sounds of her happiness. She slowly stopped laughing, breathing heavily as she caught her breath.
“You gonna tell me what was so funny?” His face was close to hers, his nose brushing against her cheek.
“I was just laughing at how quickly you won me over.” She pulled away to look at him, but brought her hands behind his neck so he couldn’t get too far. He smiled, knitting his eyebrows together. “A soldier I was supposed to be keeping alive in a storm and your innocence and confidence won me over.”
He smiled remembering that night of the storm. The night all of this started. The night he started having feelings for her. She brushed her hands through the back of his hair.
“I was thinking about how easily you kissed me and convinced me to take your virginity.” She laughed lightly again. “I was thinking about how heartbroken I was when you left, but how happy I was when you came back.”
He sighed, thinking about how hard it was when he left her. How hard of a time she must have been having, but also how impossible it was for him to be away from her. He couldn’t explain to her how hard it was for him. There also weren’t words to describe how he felt when he saw her again, what it felt like when she held him inside that cell under headquarters.
“I was thinking about how quickly you got me to fall for you again.” She lifted her hips up a little, dropping them down and grinding lightly against him. Reiner inhaled sharply and bit his lip. “What is this hold you have on me, Reiner Braun?”
Reiner looked up at her, breathing heavily as he thought about her words. He brushed her hair behind her ear, holding her cheek.
“Are you saying that—”
“That I love you? Yes.” She bit her lip, feeling him getting harder under her.
“But you’re saying that you want—”
“That I want you, just you? Yes.” He used the hand still on her butt to pull her closer.
“So, you’re saying I should—”
“That you should take us to the bed? Yes.” She nodded.
Reiner pulled her face to his, their lips finding each other and immediately their tongues followed. Y/N started grinding her hips over him and he was panting into her, his hands on her lower back, bringing her closer.
Y/N started standing up, trying to move them to the bed, but Reiner groaned at the loss of contact with her. He grabbed her legs, holding her butt and squeezing it against him as he lifted her up, carrying them both over to the bed.
He lowered them both, his hips already grinding against her core and they both were groaning at the limited feeling.
Reiner was too needy. He had been wanting her too much and for too long to take his time and Y/N wasn’t any different. She was pulling off his shirt and sliding his pants down with his underwear as fast as she could, her tongue buried in his mouth.
As Reiner finished kicking off his pants, Y/N was tugging at her own shirt, her bra quickly after, all of it being tossed to the floor like a bag of trash. Reiner held her face, kissing her hard before moving down to get rid of the clothes covering her lower half.
Y/N giggled as he slid her towards the bottom of the bed in an attempt to remove her pants and he laughed with her, using less strength and trying again.
“I love you,” he whispered over and over in between kissing her thighs. Without any warning, his tongue was in between her legs and she was squeezing her thighs around him. He looked up at her and she smiled at him, panting and biting her lip. How much did she miss this, not just the pleasure, but feeling him love her. He smiled into her and closed his eyes again, focusing on not focusing on anything but her.
He was rubbing her thighs with his rough hands and the sensation kept giving her goosebumps. Her fingers found his hair and she played with the strands on the top of his head, rubbing over his scalp until he was moaning into her, her back arching against the bed. Not long after, she was whining, her body shaking with euphoric pleasure as Reiner licked over her clit in just the way it took for her to come undone.
He followed up her body, taking his time travelling to her breasts because once he was there, he was greedily moving over them. Sucking, licking, squeezing, he was burying his face deep in her chest. Reiner would never consider himself a thigh, boobs, or butt man because when it came to Y/N, he wanted it all. But there was something he loved about her breasts, something so warm and comforting to him. He kissed over them once more before moving on.
His lips were at her neck now, a wet trail leading to her jaw from his tongue. She grabbed his cheeks and forced his lips to her and he reached down, lining himself up.
“Are you ready?” He whispered, the same way he always did, his lips on her jawline.
“Yeah.” She nodded, helping him push in by grabbing the thick muscle of his butt. There was no pause, no break, no slow build. The moment Reiner was inside of her, he was thrusting quickly and forcefully. They both wanted this bad.
Y/N lifted one of her legs, giving more room for him to go deeper and her mouth fell open, with the shift. Reiner was grunting and he slowed himself, trying to work her up before he finished.
“God, I want you to have my babies,” he grunted quietly, sucking the skin on her jaw and he stopped thrusting.
Y/N looked up at him, his eyes darting back and forth as he thought about something.
“Fuck it, can we?” He looked at her, holding her cheek. “I know I only have a short time left, but let’s get married. Let’s have babies.”
He was smiling, excited about his own decision as he looked at her. It wasn’t really the greatest time to be thinking about things as important as that, but she couldn’t get herself to do anything but nod her head, smiling at him and whispering ‘yes’.
Reiner smiled widely, kissing her and continuing his thrusting. It took no time after that, her orgasm falling over her and spreading over her body like wildfire. She gripped Reiner’s back, her nails digging in and scratching his skin as her head was thrown back, crying his name. She came down and kissed him, her lips moving over his neck and he thrusted harder into her.
She opened her mouth, lightly biting down on his shoulder and he moaned out, thrusting wildly until he was releasing himself inside her, thick ropes of cum staining her walls. He hovered over her, panting, his eyes closed until he was able to open them and smile at her. He dropped down slowly, kissing her and laying on his side to face her.
“I see that you haven’t forgotten much.” She joked.
“You forget,” he started, kissing her knuckles, “you may have had to learn all the sensitive spots on different men, but I only know one body. Your body.”
She sighed, thinking about what he said. She did know other bodies, not just other bodies, but Levi’s body. How quickly she went from Reiner to Levi and yet he can still lay here with her, happily smiling.
“Does that bother you?” She asked.
“Not really. I know you’re mine.” He laughed, pulling her closer and turning her around so he could nuzzle his nose into her hair.
It was quiet for a little bit after that. Both of them content not to say anything. After a while, Y/N couldn’t tell if Reiner had fallen asleep or if he was just breathing as if he had, but she stayed still, smiling to herself and she felt the warm air from his breath blowing on her neck.
Shortly after, he started shifting around, sighing as he stretched his arms and kissed her cheek, then propping himself up on his elbow so he could see her.
“If you could, would you stay here with me?” He asked quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, if we just stay here. Just live here together, forget everything else.” He was rubbing her chin with his thumb as he stared at her. She looked at the window across from them, watching the trees that she could see blow in the breeze. “Would you be okay with that?”
Would she be okay with it? Her job had been the most important thing to her for so long, but after Reiner left, things changed. She realized just how quickly things change. One moment Reiner was here and the next moment he wasn’t. She wanted to continue working as a captain, but she couldn’t give up on Reiner, not without trying to make the most of their time. She turned her head and smiled at him.
“I think I would.” Her hand rubbed his cheek. “As long as you’re here with me.”
Not Without Trying - Neither Ending
Warnings: Blood
Word count: ~ 3,000
“You’re not.” He brought his other hand to her other cheek, sliding himself forward until their foreheads were touching. Their lips continued moving closer and pulling away, teetering on the edge of moving further and holding back.
Reiner finally made the move to pull her closer, their noses smashed against each other and he lowered his hand to her back, bringing her chest to his. He sighed into her before both of them jumped up, a sizzling sound coming from behind him. Y/N jumped up and grabbed the pot from over the fire, the soup boiling over and spilling onto the floor. She laughed, not sure what else to do.
“I think it’s ready for the vegetables.” She set the pot on the floor and moved over to the table to grab the vegetables and slid them into the pot, moving it closer to the fire. Y/N shifted the bread around and brought one of the smaller ones back over to the table, handing it to Reiner. “Here.”
“Thanks.” He took the bread and sat back in the chair, ripping it in half and handing her one of the halves.
They stayed silent for the majority of the time the food finished cooking. Once it was done, Y/N poured them both a bowl and they sat at the table to eat. Reiner insisted on doing dishes afterwards since she cooked and she sat at the table watching him work.
“When was the last time you washed those pants?” She asked him, noticing the stains of dirt on the sides. Reiner looked down at the stains as he finished rinsing.
“I’m not sure.” He shrugged. “We didn’t have a lot of soap so I didn’t want to use it on clothes in case we needed it for something else.”
“We can always get more soap.” She laughed. “Do you want to change? I can wash them for you.”
“Uh… sure. Let me finish up.” He turned his face to smile at her. Realizing the table was dirty, she moved to the sink and grabbed the rag to wipe down the table.
“When they come back to get us in a couple days, we can worry about not having soap then.” She continued wiping the table.
“What did you say?” Reiner turned around from the dishes he was washing.
“I said we can worry about it then.”
“No, about when we will see them.”
“Oh, in a couple days. It’s nearly been a week already.” She looked at him and he was giving her a look. “…Reiner?”
“Levi told you it would only be a week?”
“Yes…? Levi and everyone else.” Her eyes were narrowing, knowing something was up.
“This is why he said you wouldn’t like it.” Reiner crossed his arms in front of him, leaning his body against the sink. “Reiner, what is going on?” She dropped the towel on the table and walked over to him.
“We’re… um… meaning you and I…” He rubbed his chin, a nervous smile crossing his face. “We’re um… we’re staying here for the remainder of my time.”
[Back when Reiner was in his cell]
“But if she chooses you,” Levi started to repeat his question, “Will you—”
“She doesn’t need to choose me for me to love her or to protect her.” Reiner’s eyes bore into Levi’s, unmoving. “I willprotect her against anyone. Marley, Paradis, you, my own family. I will protect her with everything I am. I broke her heart once and I plan to never let that happen again, even if she never speaks to me.”
“Then I think I have a plan to get you out of this,” he leaned in, “But Y/N isn’t going to like it.”
“Why do you think that?” Reiner looked worried.
“Because she isn’t going to know about it.”
“You’re not going to tell her?” Reiner’s eyes widened. “Are you sure that’s a good idea?”
“It’s the only idea. I’m sure you know things don’t look good for you.”
Reiner nodded, looking down. He knew what was coming. He had already prepared for it, knowing he deserved whatever it was that they would do to him. It confused him why Levi was there, why he was helping him.
“Why do you care?” Reiner looked up at him.
“Don’t make the mistake of thinking I care about you because I don’t.”
“Then why are you—”
“Because I can’t stand to see Y/N heartbroken and if something happens to you, she will be.” Levi grabbed the bars in between him and Reiner. “Are you ready to do this or not?”
“I’ve never been able to lie to her,” Reiner confessed.
“You lied about being a fucking titan.”
“That was different.”
“Whatever.” Levi sighed. “You won’t even have to say anything to her. Just avoid talking about it.”
Reiner nodded, worry in his eyes.
“I’m going to get you to one of the scouts safe houses.” Levi swallowed hard, clenching his jaw. “All you have to do is stay there with her.”
“Stay with her?” Reiner’s head shot up. “How are you going to get her to go there without telling her?”
“I will worry about that.”
“That’s not very comforting and I really don’t think she is going to be—”
“Are you changing your mind? You just said you would protect her.” Levi narrowed his eyes, annoyed at Reiner not agreeing to the simplest thing.
“I will protect her.” Reiner became serious. It didn’t matter the plan, Reiner would protect her. “But protecting her from herself is going to be a lot harder when she finds out.”
“She’s not going to fucking find out!” Levi was letting himself get angry. “Just stay with her. Protect her. And make her happy.”
“Okay…Okay.” Reiner sighed, looking down and thinking about how hard it must be for Levi to do this. “How long?”
“What?”
“How long do I stay with her?”
Levi knew the answer to this, but getting himself to say it was a whole other problem. The silence made Reiner look up. Levi was holding onto the metal bars tightly, looking down.
“All the time you have left.”
Y/N was pacing the length of the cabin with her hands on her head, pulling at the hairs on her temple.
“Y/N, are you okay?” Reiner had watched her stand up from the table with so much force, he swore he felt it from all the way by the sink. He had been waiting for her to calm down, but it had been ten minutes of her pacing and he wasn’t sure what to do.
“No… No, I’m not okay.” Her hands were shaking. “I am not fucking okay.”
Her breath was coming out in jagged exhales as she tried to stop herself from exploding. The pacing wasn’t helping her nearly as much as she needed it to.
“Can I do anything for you?” Reiner was sitting at the table. He tried to comfort her when he explained the situation but she yelled at him to sit and he hasn’t moved since then.
She stopped pacing. She was facing the fireplace and Reiner wondered what she was thinking. After a minute, she turned around and looked at him, her hand pulling at her bottom lip as she thought.
“They don’t respect me at all.” She muttered to herself.
“What?” Reiner started to stand up to hear her better, but she put her hand up to stop him.
“That’s what it is.” She was nodding, looking down at the ground as she continued her thoughts. “They don’t respect me at all. I know I made rank later than all of them, but I’ve still been a captain. I’ve still done my job.”
“They do respect you, Y/N. This is just—”
“No, they don’t.” Her mind was racing, thinking of all the times that she was overlooked to do even a simple job. “Even with this. Levi couldn’t trust me. He doesn’t even trust me.”
“Y/N—” “Reiner! He lied to me!” She looked up at him. There was anger in her eyes, but what showed through the most was the hurt she felt. “This is my life. My job. He just took it from me… he didn’t even have the decency to tell me.”
Reiner had nothing to say. He just looked at her while she worked through her thoughts. He knew she might be overreacting a bit, but he also knew that she had the right to be angry.
“I need to get back to HQ.” She moved to the table quickly, then turned and walked around the cabin, looking for something. “I need to tell them.”
“How are you going to get back there?” Reiner stood up, following her. “What are you looking for?”
“I don’t know. I just, I need to get there.” She stopped looking, realizing she didn’t know what she was looking for. “I’ll walk if I have to.”
“Walk?! That’s like 50 miles.”
“Then I should get started now.” She sat to put her boots on.
“Y/N, please. Let’s just think about it.”
“I did.”
“Well think with me.” He realized that she wasn’t stopping and he grabbed his shoes, pulling them on to go with her.
“What are you doing?” She grabbed her jacket and put it on.
“I’m going with you.”
“You don’t have to.” She moved to the door and he grabbed her arm.
“I won’t leave you alone.” His eyebrows were drawn together. “It’s my job to protect you.”
“I can protect myself.” She shrugged him off and moved to the door again. Reiner grabbed her hand and pulled her against him, then quickly walked her backwards until her back hit the wall and he pinned her chest with his arm, his free hand holding her jaw. Her eyes went wide, never really feeling Reiner’s full strength.
“Not in the way I can,” he said quietly, his tone held a seriousness that Y/N had never heard him have before. “Wait for me to put my jacket on and we can go.”
She nodded and he let her go, grabbing his jacket from the top drawer of the small dresser next to the bed. He slipped it on and went back to her where they both walked outside. Luckily it was still morning so they could make quite a bit of distance still before it got dark.
They were only walking for less than a minute when Y/N stopped and Reiner stopped, looking at her.
“Can you take me there?” She asked.
“I am.” He was confused. She was looking at him, waiting for him to understand what she meant, but he wasn’t getting it.
“I mean, as your titan.” She explained and his face dropped. “We could get there much faster. In no time honestly.”
“I can’t do that.”
“Why not? I’m with you. I will still be babysitting.” She walked closer to him, grabbing his hand and holding it. “It’s not dangerous.”
“It’s not, but I…”
“Please, Reiner.” She could tell he was thinking about it, that he might actually do it. His titan would protect her better than he could. She watched his eyes move back and forth as he thought about it before looking at her and slowly shaking his head.
“Y/N, I can’t—”
“I’m sorry.” He didn’t have time to be confused by what she said before she lifted his hand up and brought it to her mouth, biting down hard. He cried out, pulling his hand away and backing away from her, the yellow sparks of lighting surrounding him until he was transformed.
His titan stood there, breathing heavily and she knew he felt defeated. He dropped down to his knees in front of her. The yellow eyes that terrified her that one day months ago, now held a kindness that made her wonder how she wasn’t able to see it before this moment.
Reiner held his hand out to her, his palm up and she climbed onto it. He brought his hand to cup her against his body and started running.
“Then we will need to put together a team.” Hange shuffled through the papers. “Levi, I know you made your suggestion, but I really think we need Y/N—"
There was a loud bang at the door of the office and the three squad leaders quickly looked back at it. Another loud bang. Another loud bang. Miche looked at Hange and Levi, his eyes wide.
“I’m not opening that.” He moved his chair back a little, away from the door.
The door was locked for their meeting, trying to keep as little people in on the mission as possible. The bangs went silent for a short amount of time and Hange took a step towards the door but Miche called them back.
“We should check who it is.” Hange looked at him.
“You don’t want to do that.” He warned.
“Why not?”
“It’s Y/N.”
The bangs started up again, but this time it was a sharper bang and after a couple bangs, the wood from the door started splintering, a shiny blade peeking through the gaps.
“She has a fucking axe.” Miche’s face went white while looking at Hange and Levi. The three squad leaders just watched the door being torn to shreds as Y/N took an axe to it. As soon as she could fit her arm through, she pulled the lock up and kicked the door open.
She stood in the doorway, her eyes burning holes into Levi. Her face was hot with anger, sweat dripping down her temple, and her hair a mess. She was fuming. She let the tip of the axe hit the floor and she dragged it behind her as she walked inside the office.
Miche put his hands up and she lifted the axe, handing it to him before moving to Levi. She wasn’t walking very quickly, but no one in the room had any idea what to do, they could only watch to see what she was going to do.
She stood in front of Levi. He was still sitting in his chair. He had the same look on his face that he always held, but Y/N knew. She knew in Levi’s own little way. His eyes were wide with fear of her unpredictability. Her emotional impulsiveness, normally her weakness, was now her strength. She owned the room.
She looked out the window to compose herself, taking a deep breath before lifting her arm and hitting Levi square in the middle of his face. Everyone gasped and a tiny smile showed only in the corner of her mouth as she watched his head fly back and as soon as he looked back at her, she hit him again. His nose dripping blood onto his lips and chin. She grabbed the collar of his shirt with both hands and pulled him up, walking him backwards until his back hit the wall. She lifted him up, his hands moving to her forearms to grip her wrists.
“Y/N!” Reiner was at the door, out of breath and everyone turned to look at him except Y/N, her eyes never left Levi.
“How could you?” She whispered, spitting each word.
“I’m sorry, I tried to stop her.” Reiner assured, stepping into the room.
“I would argue you didn’t try hard enough.” Levi growled, blood from his nose spraying as he spoke.
“I said, how could you?” Y/N yelled, hitting him against the wall to emphasize her words.
“Y/N, we can talk about why you’re upset—” Hange started.
“I am a captain of the survey corps and I get to be here just like you! Just like all of you!” She turned to look at them. “And I don’t fucking care what you or anyone else has to say about it!”
She turned back to Levi, staring directly into his eyes, narrowing her own and lowering her voice.
“You may think I’m too emotional and not cut out for this job, and maybe you’re right, but you don’t get to decide my life.” She lowered her voice even more. “I am not giving up on this, not without trying my best and I will not sit in a cabin like a babysitter while you make decisions for me.”
There was a long moment of her glaring at Levi and him just staring at her, almost like a silent conversation, but they weren’t conversing at all. Y/N was going to stare at him, holding him there until he knew just how serious she was. After a minute, Levi nodded. It was so small that no one else could see it, but Y/N. As soon as she saw it, she set him down, dropping him to the ground and stepping back.
Y/N turned around and took her seat at the table, looking to Hange as if she didn’t just break down the office door and pin Levi to the wall. Levi brushed off his pants and pulled out his handkerchief, wiping his nose and sitting next to Y/N.
“Well now that we’re all here—” Hange started.
“Wait, wait.” Miche interrupted and everyone turned to look at him. “Are we really going to just continue this meeting like Y/N didn’t storm in here like a badass bitch and scare the shit out of all of us?”
He looked at everyone, no one saying anything, then turned to Y/N, a small smile on her face.
“Well I’m going to give you props for that.” He stood up and high-fived her. “Badass move.”
He moved to sit back down and dropped the axe, the loud clanking sounds making everyone jump as it hit the floor.
“Sorry, continue.” Miche gestured to Hange.
“Well, we have a plan and we’re going to need your help.” Hange turned to Y/N. Reiner, still in the doorway, started to walk away. “Yours too, Reiner.”
He looked up quickly, confused.
“Take a seat.” Hange motioned to the open chair next to Levi.
Reiner scurried to the open chair and sat down. Levi pulled on his shoulder from behind and whispered to him.
“You ‘tried to stop her’? I bet you carried her the whole way here in your titan form.” Reiner turned around to look at him.
“She bit me.”
“I’ve already made the teams,” Hange continued, “we’re going to the ocean.”
Not Without Trying - Series Masterlist
Pairing: Reiner x Fem! Reader & Levi x Fem! Reader This reader probably comes off very white. I am sure I mention blushing and hair texture. I could change it, but I use my mistakes to learn so I’ve left them in.
Chapter: 17/17
Word Count: 50,000+
Content: Friends to lovers, virginity loss, love triangle, first love
Content warnings: Smut, NSFW
Series Summary: Reader falls in love with Reiner and he is later revealed to be the armored titan and leaves Reader heartbroken and confused. Levi, her close friend, comforts her and they fall for each other only to have Reiner return and complicate everything.
Section Commanders Barracks
Chapter 1 - Rain (4k words)
Reiner and reader get rained into a cabin for the night. Reader is a captain. I also made Reiner a bit older than 17.
Chapter 2 (4k words)
This comes after the chapter Rain which was the first one of this story. I sort of skipped around a lot. You have to imagine this is about a month after Rain happened where Reiner and the reader had a little time to get closer.
Chapter 3 (2.8k words)
After reader and Reiner have sex, they discuss their relationship.
Chapter 4 (2.8k words)
Reiner and Reader continue their relationship, getting closer.
Chapter 5 (1.6k words)
The reader learns the truth about Reiner. Also, this is the last part of the ReinerxReader section of the story. For the next few chapters it’s LevixReader.
Chapter 6 (2.8k words)
Reader is upset and struggling to cope with learning about Reiner being the armored titan so Levi steps in to help.
Chapter 7 - Just Tell Her (1.3k words)
Levi begins to realize his feelings for Reader might be a bit more than friendship.
Chapter 8 (3.9k words)
Levi and Reader’s friendship gets stronger as they start to realize they might have feelings for each other. Reader has a special request for Levi that may end up bringing them even closer.
Chapter 9 (2.7k words)
Levi struggles to admit his feelings to Reader, unsure if she feels the same way.
Chapter 10 (4k words)
Reader and Levi’s relationship becomes more known while Reader gives him a surprise visit late at night.
Chapter 11 (2.8k words)
Levi takes Reader on a special mission. While they are there, Reader opens up about her childhood.
Chapter 12 (2.6k words)
It’s time to take back Wall Maria.
Chapter 13 (2.6k words)
The questioning of Reiner takes place, but will Reader be able to handle seeing him?
Chapter 14 (2.7k words)
Reader talks to Reiner alone for the first time since he left and Levi is a bit upset.
Chapter 15 (3.5k words)
Levi makes a plan with Reiner that Reader isn’t going to like.
Chapter 16 (4.7k words)
Reader prepares for and started her mission of watching over Reiner at a secluded cabin.
Chapter 17 (800 words)
Reader learns the truth of what Levi did. What will she do? And who will she choose?
Not Without Trying - Chapter 13
Summary: The questioning of Reiner takes place, but will Reader be able to handle seeing him?
LevixFem!Reader
ReinerxFem!Reader
Warnings: A small bit of torture (it’s mainly punching)
Word Count: ~ 2,600
“Did… um…” The lump in her throat was so big at this point, she could barely speak. “Did you really love me?” Tears were pouring down her cheeks and her nose was dripping. She sniffled. Reiner looked at her, devastated.
“Y/N… I’ve never stopped loving you.” He revealed. “Not once.”
“But you…” She wiped her nose on her sleeve and brushed away her tears. “You still did this.”
“I didn’t have a choice.” He tried to approach her, but the chains kept him close to the wall. “Please, Y/N just let me explain. I promise, I—”
“All those houses…” The tears were rolling down her cheeks like waterfalls and her breath was starting to hitch. “All those people…” Reiner continued trying to get free from the chains to reach her, his own eyes watering now. He just needed to explain to her.
“Y/N… I…” He couldn’t see her like this. He couldn’t look at her this hurt, knowing he caused it and couldn’t hold her.
“There were so many people who suffered.” She started sobbing. “Reiner, my family.” She covered her face in her hands and wept.
“Y/N, I’m sorry.” He pulled from the wall again, but couldn’t move more than a few inches away. “Please, I’m so sorry.” He pulled again and again and again, but no luck. “Fuck! These stupid chains!” He twisted his body, trying to get free just to go to her. “Please! Y/N! Please!” He was sobbing now and sunk down onto the concrete. He just needed to hold her. He needed to explain everything. Every stupid decision he made, all the regrets he had, he just needed her to know.
They were both crying that they didn’t hear Levi open the cell and walk over to her. He put his hand on her back and guided her out of the cell and headed upstairs.
“Wait!” Reiner called. “Wait! Y/N, Please! I love you! Just let me explain!” She continued hearing him call until she was in the mess hall. Levi guided her upstairs to her room and laid her on the bed.
“Do you want me to stay with you?” He asked her, sitting on the bed. She nodded and he rested his hand on her shoulder, rubbing her arm then leaned back on the bed so she could rest on his chest. Levi reached his hands up and pulled her hair loose, running his hands through her hair as she cried.
After about an hour, Hange knocked lightly on the door and opened it, peeking inside. Levi and Y/N sat up.
“Sorry to bother you so soon.” She said from halfway behind the door. “Levi, Pixis wants to see us. Y/N, when you feel up to it, please come to my office.” They both nodded and he left.
Levi turned to Y/N, resting his hand on her cheek and rubbing away the tear lines. His shirt was fully soaked through. She laid her head on his shoulder.
“You don’t have to do anything.” He held her hand as he spoke. “They can do whatever they need with Hange, Miche, and me. You could stay here until everything is figured out.”
“I know.” She nodded. “But I need an explanation too.” He kissed the top of her head and stood up, looking at her one more time before he made his way to the door and opened it. “Levi.” She called and he turned around to look at her. “Can we take the restraints off of him?”
Levi clenched his jaw and looked away from her.
“I’ll see what I can do.” Then he left. Levi met Hange in the hallway.
“They want us to question Reiner again.” Hange told him. “They don’t think he will talk, but they want it to look like we tried before they send Y/N in again.” Levi’s head shot up to look at Hange.
“They what?” Levi glowered.
“I know what you’re think—”
“I won’t allow this.” He started to walk back to their office, but Hange grabbed his arm.
“If this weren’t Y/N, you’d be suggesting the same thing.” Their voice was quiet. “They will obviously give her a choice, but we both know what she will say.”
Levi and Hange went back down the cell to question Reiner. At this point Levi was visibly furious, hating the fact that he had to put on a show for Reiner.
“Where’s Y/N?” Reiner asked. The tears on his cheeks were dry now. His eyes followed Levi as he opened the cell and walked inside. Hange stayed outside.
“She’s not here.” Levi released the restraints around Reiner’s hands allowing him to separate from the wall and pulled a chair up to sit in front of him.
“What are you—” Reiner started.
“I am asking the questions.” Levi stated. “Where are you from?”
“I only want to speak to Y/N.” Reiner declared.
“You are not in any position to negotiate. Where are you from?” He repeated.
“I am only speaking to—”
Levi leaned forward, stepping on Reiner’s hand and Reiner cried out.
“Do whatever you want,” Reiner panted. “I only want to speak to Y/N.”
Levi shot up from the chair and was on top of Reiner, holding his collar. He punched his cheek.
“Maybe—” Punch. “—I should—” Punch. “—hit you—” Punch. “—for every—” Punch. “—time I had—” Punch. “—to see—” Punch. “—Y/N cry—” Punch. “—because of—” Punch. “—YOU—” Punch. “—You piece—” Punch. “—of shit.” Punch.
He let go, sinking to his knees, breathing heavily and Reiner collapsed to the floor.
“Levi.” Hange’s hand was on his shoulder. “He’s unconscious.”
…..
Back in the main office, there was a small knock at the door and Y/N walked in.
The room was empty until Levi, Miche, and Hange walked in. Levi looking significantly angrier than when he left Y/N and Hange looking worried. Hange passed out tea to everyone and when Levi sat next to Y/N and took a sip from his cup, Y/N noticed how bloody his knuckles were.
“What happened to your hand?” She asked, worriedly.
“It’s nothing.” He put his hand on hers and they waited for Hange to speak.
“I think you might know what I’m going to say. The only thing we need is to get Reiner to talk.” Hange walked to the side of the table and Levi stood up, almost making a barrier between them and Y/N. Y/N and Miche’s eyes moved back and forth between Hange and Levi. Hange walked back to their seat and sat down and Levi moved to stand in front of Y/N’s chair, leaning against the desk. “He seems like he will talk as long as it’s to you, Y/N.”
“I’ll do it—”
“No. No way.” Levi protested. “No fucking way. I won’t let you.”
“You won’t let me?” She scoffed.
“You know what I mean.” He looked at her. “You are only thinking about everyone else right now. You need to think about yourself.”
“It’s my decision, Levi.” Y/N grabbed his hand. “I appreciate what you’re doing, but Hange is right, this is the easiest way.”
“Please just think about this, Y/N.” He begged.
“I am thinking about it.” She told. “Think of the information we can get from him. If he really is willing to tell us everything. Answers about titans, where he comes from, who else is there. We could know all of it. I can get Reiner to tell me.” Levi sighed and looked at the ground. Hange noticed the way Y/N was looking at Levi and realized it might be better if they could talk alone.
“Miche, let me debrief you on some things.” He stood and they walked outside, closing the door behind them.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Y/N started, “But I can do it. The first time was hard, but I’m prepared now. I have all the questions in this packet, I even have some of my own.”
Levi didn’t respond, he just leaned forward, resting his forehead against hers, her hands in his. Y/N reached forward and pulled him into her lap. Levi glowered at her and she laughed then pulled him in for a hug. They stayed like this for a while.
“If at any point you want to stop,” he began, “just tell me.”
“I will.” Y/N pulled his face close and kissed him. “What do you say you come to my room tonight? After all the questioning.”
He looked at her and let himself smile a bit before leaning down and connecting their lips. They let it get deep enough, but then pulled away. Levi stood up and reached for her hand and they both left to meet the others.
…..
They made their way back down to the cell. Pixis, Hange, Levi, Miche, and Y/N were the only ones there, hoping to keep the group small so no information could be leaked. As they reached Reiner’s cell, Y/N could see him sitting on the bed, hugging his knees. He looked up as he saw them. As soon as he saw Y/N, he stood up and was about to speak.
“If you can’t stay seated, we will have to restrain you again.” Levi directed. Reiner sat back down.
They placed a chair in front of where Reiner sat with enough space between to feel safe. Y/N sat there and the rest of them sat against the back wall. She could see that he’d gotten a beating since she was last here. That explains Levi’s hands. Reiner kept trying to smile at her, each time wincing from his split lip.
“Where are you from?” She began, reading from the list of questions they gave her.
“I—I’m from a place called Marley.” His throat was dry, the words coming out scratchy. Y/N turned around and looked at Hange. They stood up, getting a glass of water and handing it to him.
“When did you become a titan?” She continued.
“When I was 12 years old.” This made Y/N freeze, her breath caught and she looked at him, heart beating quickly. She quickly cleared her throat and continued.
As she asked each question, she became more and more confused as Reiner explained his situation. She started crying when she learned about the children being manipulated into giving their lives, their futures to a cause they never chose, Reiner needing to be reminded that he had to stay sitting.
She moved her chair closer when Reiner spoke about his mother and father and his reasoning for joining the military. Scooted even closer when he recalled his father’s reaction when he first spoke to him. She held his hand when he spoke of Bertoldt and Annie and what happened to Marcel, but soon dropped it after he talked about breaking the wall.
“You were a kid,” she whispered. “You were a scared kid who didn’t have any options.” She was looking at the ground, eyes moving back and forth, unable to believe what she was hearing. “Reiner…” She looked up at him and tears were filling his eyes.
“I wish I could take it all back,” he spoke so softly. In spite of everyone protesting, Levi being the first to say something, Y/N stood up, grabbing Reiner and pulled him into a hug. He leaned his head on her shoulder and cried, squeezing fistfuls of her jacket as he hugged her. They stayed like this for a couple minutes until Y/N sat him back down on the bed and she sat next to him, arm over his shoulder.
There were a couple final questions that they went over. The biggest worry being that Marley would attack looking for Reiner and that they still wanted Eren. Pixis, Hange, Miche, and Levi all stood up.
“That’s enough for now,” Pixis spoke. “We will have another short round of questions in a couple of hours.” Y/N put her hand on Reiner’s leg, squeezing a bit for reassurance and then stood up to leave.
“Y/N…” Reiner paused, making sure she would wait. “If I had told you before, would that have made a difference?” She turned around, looking at him.
“Honestly,” She started, “… I really don’t know.” Then walked out the cell.
…..
Y/N laid in bed wondering if Levi was actually going to show up. She regretted making plans to be with him tonight. Not that she didn’t want him to be here with her, but she couldn’t get her mind off of Reiner’s story. He was a child, just a small kid who didn’t know what he was doing. He thought he was doing his best. Taking care of his friends and trying to help his people.
The door to her room opened up and Levi walked in, closing the door behind him. Y/N propped herself up on her elbows and watched him as he approached the bed.
“You’re not sleeping?” He asked, getting in bed with her. She laid back down, turning her body around so she was facing him.
“I was waiting for you.” She pulled the covers up to her chin and he rested his hand on her waist.
“Sorry, things got busy.” He pulled himself closer to her.
“What things?” She asked. “No one told me anything was happening.”
“It’s nothing.” He pressed his lips together, almost smiling. “It’s just some last few questions.”
“Nothing?” She sat up. “Like your knuckles were nothing?” Levi looked at his hand and took a deep breath. Y/N continued staring at him. “I don’t like being used.”
“That’s not—”
“Isn’t it? She was starting to get angry. “Use me to get to Reiner, but keep me entirely out of the loop. Then after he gives us all the information we need, we just dump him?”
“Dump him?” Levi asked surprised. “What are you thinking is going to happen? We’re just going to let him go live his fucking life? Walk free just because he gave us some information?”
“He only has a couple years left,” she whispered then started crying. Levi took another deep breath.
“I know you’re worried about him.” He started. “But… do you really think that anyone will just let him go free?”
“It’s not like I think he should go free, but…” She took a deep breath. “Maybe a second chance? I don’t know… I know he did a lot of bad things. I know. They were unforgivable things and I will never forgive him for what he did to my family, to Erwin and to everyone else… But it doesn’t seem like he did them because he wanted to do them. Can we really punish the person who was forced to do it?”
She looked over at him. Since Reiner got back, Levi had a lot of things running through his mind. Things related to the safety of the scouts, the safety of the people, the safety of everyone’s lives within the walls, but the more he spoke with Y/N, the more he continued wondering about their relationship.
“Are… Are you still in love with him?” Levi swallowed hard, not sure if he actually wanted to hear the answer.
“No... Maybe.” She wiped her cheeks. “I don’t know. I think so. He just left so fast, I guess I never got the time to really get over him… I don’t know. I don’t think I can forgive him. Everything he did. And he lied to me.” She looked at Levi. “I’m stupid. I’m being stupid, aren’t I?”
“No, you’re not.” He reached and put his hand on her cheek. “This thing you do, where you care about pieces of shit, it’s one of the reasons I love you… and I think it’s a big reason you love me.” She laughed quietly. “Why don’t we just go to sleep?”
She nodded and laid back down, cuddling into Levi’s chest. She didn’t know what her feelings were for Reiner right now, but she definitely needed to talk to him more. She didn’t know how, but she just knew that she needed to see him.
Taglist: @levisbebe @nefelimalfoy @lainessia
Just for a little extra explanation, here is the layout I imagined for the second floor of the barracks.
I use this layout for all of my stories where the reader is a section commander.