Sitting here thinking about a lot of stuff that has been going on in my head lately.. I am sitting here, and looking at my beautiful girlfriend, and I am so thankful for her accepting me. Yes, when I first got with her I just thought I was a lowly drag king, however as time went on, I noticed more and more of me hated my body, hated who I was. So when I came out to my girlfriend I was terrified to tell her that I am an FTM, I was terrified of how she was going to act. I sat there thinking for a long time in my life that I wasn't a girl, and that terrified me. I think I was terrified that I would end up just like another statistic.... another person who ended up killing themselves because people wouldn't accept or care about me... But, regardless, my girlfriend loves me... I never expected someone to love me for who I was.
Something amazing is that even with my mom saying she wont call me by my name or pronouns until I am fully transitioned, there is something keeping me alive. I think it is my baby... The love she showed me, the acceptance, the care, the feeling I get when she curls up in my arms. I swear these feelings are what are keeping me alive. And I am so happy for it. My girl was the first person I had told, EVER, that I was trans, and I would NEVER change that if I had a chance to redo it.
So, baby, thank you for everything you do for me. Thank you for not letting me become just another statistic. I love you, forever and always, and cannot wait to make you my wife.