Greetings, High King.
It has come to my notice that you have a fondness for reading literature of a rather erotic nature. Would it be overstepping boundaries if I were to ask you about the truth of these claims?
(PS I got a fortune cookie that said my lucky colour is gold, so I'm going to stick fast to you and ask you more awkward questions like this 😊)
My dear consultant… you know… once upon a time, I believed nothing could surprise me anymore.
And yet... here we are. 😑✨
Now, before you jump to any conclusions, let me explain, what you have stumbled upon is not a refined taste for literature, but rather the aftermath of an… incident. 🤨💬
It all began when Elrond, oh, my sweet, innocent summer child 🌞👶in his youthful enthusiasm, decided he wanted to POSE for a drawing class. Perfectly innocent, right?! 👏🎨✨ Well. Then someone, whose name I shall not utter, suggested Adar should pose as well. For… contrast. 💖🖤 (Yes, I allowed it. No, I will not elaborate.)
The next thing I knew, things escalated into an artistic exploration of ‘forms’ 🗿, ‘themes’ 🖌️, and things 🫣… and suddenly, they wanted me to pose too! *drinks wine 🍷*
And the cherry on top? Instead of being recognized as a refined patron of the arts, I am now being accused of hoarding scandalous reading material. 📖🔥 Well...
*keeps sipping. Still sipping. Does not stop sipping. 🍷🍷🍷 Considers just drinking straight from the bottle. 🍾😌*
Now, please my dear Consultant, if you truly intend to embark on this perilous journey... I demand tribute. Half the cookie. At least. 🍪✨
