#notatruestory

[papertiki]

"Draw why you have a band-aid on your knuckles." #notatruestory

[propshopsd]

Navigating our way through #humpday with one of our favorite captains; Hunter S. Thompson. Our senior mechanic, Jerry, once happened upon the salty old sailor down in the Florida Keys. He had been hunting for rainbow crab and his prop had been damaged clipping one of them (notoriously hard sparkly shells on those bugs!) Anyways, Jerry just happened to have a spare on him and got him fixed up and on his way in no time at all. #notatruestory #rainbowcrabs #huntersthompson #batcountry (at Key West, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cixx2hwp1w1r6JM9Fms0K_0bu_48Fk8YqqJvKo0/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[nickofcomedy]

#ThrowbackThursday When I was in Las Vegas paying off my Gambling debts with Jokes. These dudes told me if you don't make us Laugh you'll end up in the Dumpster next to the Fat Elvis Cosplayer no one likes outside the casino. So I had the Set of my Life! This Saturday I'll be at @Broadway_Comedy_Club for Starr Struck Comedy Presents. 6PM hit me for Info if you Tryna come out New York!! #TBT #VegasLights #NotATrueStory #ButImFunnyThough #StandupGuy #ComeSeeMe #BroadwayComedyClub #NewYorkCity #ThisWeekend #NickOfComedy (at Dirty at 12:30 at the Southpoint)

[peachegf-moved]

Me: So would you be interested in going out?

My crush: Um no sorry

Me: Well I guess the only thing I can do is burn

[martinvanbrendan]

Alright With Me

Looking at yourself You don’t like what you see You stand next to your friends Wishing for more to be But that’s alright That’s alright with me You hate yourself For hating what you see Perhaps it’s only natural The way the cycle feeds And that’s alright That’s alright with me You take the time To make them leave you be By some freak of nature It doesn’t help you see That that’s alright That’s alright with me Defeated again I wish you’d disagree Let me take you by the hand Remember you matter to me ‘Cause it’s alright It’s alright with me

[pankajomaniac-blog]

One paper in my pocket . . . . ! ! ! !

Knock Knock Knock….!!!

Early morning I had a nuclear blast in my house and that was sooooooo irritating. Somehow I managed to open front door and slept again. Instead of greeting my guest at door I slept and didn’t even notice who was there. As always, I woke up late and I found myself near seashore. I was shocked and noticed that my hands were tied to a coconut tree. I was shouting louder and louder, but no one showed up. It was difficult for me to survive and lost my consciousness. Then I woke up in hospital and was feeling much better. My family members were around me and they were accompanied by few policemen. Everyone started asking me questions and I was lost completely.Who was at the door? How many people were there? Can you recognize them? What was the time when you opened door? I was bombarded with these questions for which I didn’t had a single clue to answer it even partially. Police got one CC TV footage from the building parallel to my house and it was completely furious. As soon as I opened door, three men entered and saw me sleeping. They swept whole house and mystery of me finding near seashore was solved. I was so embarrassed and shattered because of me being guilty. I was about to cry and I was wet(note: stop thinking dirty minds 😄) the next second. My mom poured a glass full of water on my face to wake me up. Yes!!! That was a dream. It all happened in my dream. I started laughing on myself and was imagining myself in that situation. When I told this to my mom, she smiled at me and told me that this whole story was written in that paper which was in my pocket. Again I was in dilemma,that how did it happened. Then I came to know that this story was written by me for school magazine one year ago. It was a scary and most shocking dream I ever had in my life.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ….! ! ! ! ! ! !