#notbeeped

[freebrak-blog]

“if you want to go back, that’s fine with me.”     @notbeeped​

“fuck off,”     the response is harsher than intended, but, in that moment, freddie doesn’t care at all. just wants the other to stop fucking talking as he presses tissues to his nose and hopes to fucking something that it’ll stop bleeding. that the dizzy feeling will subside, because he can’t go back home. won’t. refuses to. he wants to go outside. he wants to be a normal fucking person for longer than an hour and wants to pretend that the moment he steps foot back inside, his mom won’t freak out. won’t scream at him for being careless and reckless and that he needed to take these pills and also these ones and also these ones------  she was overbearing, controlling. only, unlike eddie, his pills actually done something. knocked him for sixth. made him feel sick, dizzy. like a fucking zombie. he can barely think somedays. he breathes, breathes, breathes. lips parted as he gasps in air like he’s dying.     “i don’t wanna fucking go back. i’m not going back.”

[doneworse]

@notbeeped .                          ————                          they’re long gone, but he still hears them. their barks. their snarls. the odd way they began to blur together and rang out like garbled laughter. kendall can hardly breathe. his heart feels like it’s going to burst out of his chest. he wants to scream. but he doesn’t. can’t find his voice and it drives him to panic even more. the stinging of his raw knees prompts him to pick himself up. but his palms are just as torn and even if he can’t speak   —   it bubbles out of him like nothing happened. laughter. it’s only when he turns that he spots the other. it’s only when he makes that brief eye contact that he laughs more, and his cheeks are wet again with brand new tears.

[trashmcuths-a]

❣

send ❣ and i will make an 8 song playlist for our muses

you can be timeless by the henry clay people

up the wolves by the mountain goats

always gold by radical face

call them brothers by regina spektor

dashboard by modest mouse

64 little white things by cake bake betty

giving up the gun by vampire weekend

glockenspiel song by dog is dead

[clownroom]

》  𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃   /   @𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐁𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐄𝐃​   :     "𝐼   𝑊𝑂𝑈𝐿𝐷   𝐿𝐼𝐾𝐸   𝑇𝑂   𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐾   𝑇𝐻𝐴𝑇   𝑌𝑂𝑈   𝑊𝑂𝑈𝐿𝐷   𝑆𝑇𝐼𝐶𝐾   𝐴𝑅𝑂𝑈𝑁𝐷. "

 𝚆𝙸𝙳𝙴   𝙶𝚁𝙸𝙽   𝚄𝙽𝙼𝙰𝚂𝙺𝚂   𝙰   𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙻𝙳'𝚂   𝙼𝙸𝚁𝚃𝙷    .      it’s   not   a   suggestion   ,    nor   a   request   .     stay   .    moral   obligation   accepted   without   question    /    with   unwavering   loyalty   .     ❛     𝚊𝚒𝚗'𝚝   𝚗𝚘   𝚚𝚞𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗   ’   𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝   𝚒𝚝   ,    ❜    &   gingerly   he   reaches   to   tussle   hair   ,      ❛     𝚠𝚎   𝚠𝚎𝚛𝚎   𝚜𝚝𝚞𝚌𝚔   𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛   𝚏𝚛𝚘𝚖   𝚝𝚑𝚎   𝚏𝚞𝚌𝚔𝚒𝚗   ’    𝙶𝙴𝚃 - 𝙶𝙾 .      ❜

[crudecomedy]

——- ❝ y’all be like ‘no nut november’ and i be like ‘no nut every month’ because i have a peanut allergy. what the fuck ? ❞ [ @notbeeped​ ]

[gazebobullshit]

ANSWERED ASK:  “ if you want to leave, as i said, you’re free to do so.” - @notbeeped

     The thing is he had every intention of leaving, mind already halfway out the door. Only, Eddie was contrary by nature and as soon as Ryan spoke all thoughts of leaving promptly evaporated from his head. “Well, I don’t.” He huffed as though he’d just realized that fact, crossing his arms and plopping down to sit on the floor for good measure. To be fair it’s not like he’d actually wanted to go home, so any excuse, even a childish one is usually welcomed. “I like it here so, I think I’ll stay.” When he looked up it was almost like he was challenging the other boy to make him go, though why this inconsequential hill was the one he was willing to die on he couldn’t begin to tell you.         After a moment, the look melted and he seemed to relax a little into himself. Letting himself lean back on his palms and tilting his head, considering. “Do you want me to leave? You wanna be alone or something?” 

[trashmcuths-a]

“ i’d say you are the worst thing that has ever happened me. ”        @notbeeped​

the two are pushing his car down a deserted back road when ryan decides to have a diva moment. mariah carey-ass motherfucker. in response, richie pauses, stands straight up, and glares. “oh, really? me? the worst thing?” he huffs, pointing to the rear window of his car. two urns sit in the back, each secured by a seat belt. richie possesses no hard-line belief in an afterlife, but their presence is kinda comforting in a ghoulish sorta way. “you really wanna say that in front of the remains of our dearly departed parents?”

okay, so maybe ryan has, like, a third of a point. richie did make a couple minor errors in judgement, the most glaring being his swearing up and down that the car could make it to the next gas station. the second is definitely his insisting that they embark on an impromptu road trip instead of simply booking a flight. but, like, their dad just died. richie has a lot to work through, and grief makes people do insane shit, like quilting their twin brother into ‘one last family vacation.’ and honestly, the trip isn’t even that long of a haul! there are about twenty-one hours between madison and acadia national park. they would be spreading their parents ashes within a couple days, easy peasy. except that this whole ‘running out of gas in the middle of nowhere’ debacle had, admittedly, threw a wrench in his plans. so, yeah, mistakes had been made.

[kaspbraakspeaking]

@notbeeped​

Working from home was keeping him distracted and busy while he continued to recover. It wasn’t like he needed crutches or a wheelchair anymore, but his job was insisting he continue working out of office for awhile longer. He wasn’t against it, it was a lot more quiet when he didn’t have to deal with idiots in the office, and Ryan wasn’t as loud as Richie.

People would assume twins would be the same, but at least Ryan wasn’t as horribly obnoxious as Richie could be sometimes. Why he had offered his place for Eddie, he wasn’t sure, but it was working out so far.

His eyes were focused on the laptop in front of him, just in a casual sweatpants and wife beater. Another great thing of working at home was not having to dress up, and he had been taking advantage of that, but today was laundry day so all his shirts were in the hamper. He was stuck with this for now. Laundry would come once he managed to get a bit of work done.