Discover Top Posts Tagged with #notenoughfood

My recent backyard party

Definitely #notenoughfood #justkidding #iwentforseconds #whatdiet #thegallowaychristmas2016 (at Dexter, Oregon)

#whatdiet #justkidding #iwentforseconds #notenoughfood #thegallowaychristmas2016

I need some motivation pills because I cbf with my last assessment for my degree that's worth 50% of my subject. :/

#personal #sigh #unilife #stressstressstress #notenoughfood #orsleep #thoughts #feelings #hmmm

Never in my life have I ever ‘failed’ at something major. Well, I don’t know if Year 11 Mathematical Methods counts, but in all seriousness, everything usually works out for me in the end. This time, though, nothing will be ok. I don’t know if it’s because I didn’t work hard enough, or if it’s because I am anxious af and am very bad at socialising with other humans; but so far, I have screwed up 2/3 of my job interviews. I just can’t help but want to cry. Except no tears come out- I’m just screaming silently into a black hole.

Prior to the interviews, I personally felt like everything would be ok. I underestimated how hard it would be...I thought that I would ace every interview I had…that was also my goal as well. But so far, I haven’t walked out of an interview that went perfectly well. I am most particularly upset that I screwed up my interview at the hospital which I really, really, really wanted to work in next year so, so badly. I’ve worked so hard, yet it seems like my hard work and everything which I have been through will go down the drain once I find out my results.

I don’t know what I am doing wrong or what I have done wrong to cause me to stuff up this bad. I mean, I was sick for 2 weeks which really screwed everything up, but I didn’t choose to be sick. I feel like this is happening because I have never really ‘failed’ at achieving something, because as I said earlier, everything usually works out in the end for me. So, by ‘failing’ at something like this now, I feel like this will be my challenge to work through and resolve. Or maybe (this is my superstitious mind speaking), I am not meant to get a job because I will be required to do something else next year (something which has been on my mind lately, but is too scary for me to say at this point, and is something bad).

Fucking hell.